Hi My Friends!
Today I want to discuss a topic rarely spoken about in the Cg/l community: aging. We are all aging, and yet there is controversy surrounding Littles in the community. I have visited various DDLG forums where Littles and dominants of a certain age or above often feel alienated because people within the community want them to be between 18-25 years old. This begs the question: Can you be a little forever? Or does a Cg/l relationship need to evolve into another form of D/s over time? I read another book by a well known BDSM author that stated that a DDLG relationship was one for “younger littles” and certainly not one for Littles in their child-bearing years. So I’d like to dissect this topic further and place my opinion in the mix.
I. On the surface DDLG/LB is about an illusion
The core of any healthy Cg/l relationship is one of complete understanding. It is about trust, love, loyalty, and faithfulness. When these elements are in place, the physical body doesn’t matter all that much. But prior to having a deep, meaningful relationship there is a certain illusion that Littles are pressured to uphold. Think about it for a moment: Littles are supposed to look, well, little! They need to look young, fresh-faced, and be able to wear clothing that is appropriate to their regressed age. They need to be able to get down on the floor and play with toys, all while singing and babbling away. These key points are things that dominants scope out as they are searching for a mate. They also need to be a legal adult.
Now let’s be honest here, sometimes, aging isn’t the kindest to our bodies. There are scars, wrinkles, grey hair, receding hairlines, (you name it!) that occurs in men and women as they age. All of a sudden, crawling on the floor seems more like a yoga exercise then a space to relieve stress. Does this make the Little any less worthy of a Cg/l relationship because they don’t crawl around in diapers? Of course not. But there is a stigma that is attached to someone because of their biological age. But if we’re being completely transparent here, being a Little is a state of mind… not an actual physical form. It doesn’t matter what you can or can’t do, nor does it matter what your hair, weight, body shape, etc. is. You are a Little because of how you feel inside. Period.
II. Dominants also get judged for their age
Doms also get judged for their age, just as Littles do. This is even more ridiculous in my opinion because a dominant who is 30+ years old has life experience. They know what they want in a submissive, and what they don’t want. They have the maturity to guide and lead their Little. And yet, they are viewed as “so old” among some of the community. They are questioned about their ability to perform in bed simply because of their age. Littles wonder if an older Dom will be able to keep up with their energy levels and their ever-changing needs. I can’t help but cringe when I hear stories like this.
We are all aging. Even the people who judge others in the community for their age, are also aging right this very moment. Who you are today might not be the same person that you are one year from now. Which leads me to my last point…
III. Age is just a number
I do believe that you can be Little forever. In your 20’s you’re experimenting with identity. At times you make stupid decisions. You act impulsively because, well, you’re in your 20’s! You’re viewed as young by society and so you feel as if the world is your oyster. You meet new people, try new kinks, and really throw care to the wind. When you’re in your 30’s you look back at your 20’s and smirk. (I know I was stupid and wild when I was in my 20’s. You couldn’t pay me to want to go back to that age). You begin to calm down in your 30’s. You’re young enough to feel full of life, yet old enough to have the maturity to not make stupid decisions. It’s pretty awesome. You have the financial stability to actually travel and eat at nice restaurants, yet you also have the understanding to budget your money. And then you hit your 40’s. (Now I’m not there yet so I’m speculating here).
You’re still active and yet, perhaps you regress to be a Middle? There are so many people in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond that look like walking rainbows when they go out. Fashion is a form of self-expression. By this point you probably have a long-lasting Cg/l relationship, so who gives a s*** if the community thinks you’re “too old” to be a Little? You have what they all wish they had! You have that beautiful, deep, long-lasting, eternal bond as dom-sub. And really, that is what we are all striving for. 🙂
So can you be a Little forever? Absolutely, yes you can! Don’t let the community or society tell you otherwise. Keep that chin up, my friends. Things are going to be just fine. Sending much love to you today. Stay tuned for another post tomorrow and until then, keep smiling!