Hi My Friends!
Today kicks off the next 8-part blog series, all about non-sexual and wholesome Littles. I’ve been itching to dive into this discussion because there is a lack of education and talk regarding the “other side” of the Cg/l community. So I am here today to bring light to this group of people. When we think of Littles and Little Space, we often turn our eyes to what social media projects. There are large YouTubers such as: Binkie Princess and Milkwebs that put out their own image of what being a Little means to them. On Instagram there are numerous people who show selfies in onesies, showing off their bare legs and princess parts.
But what about the people who don’t want to show off so much skin? What about the people who are (perhaps) underage, or who feel Little and yet, don’t want to be sexualized in such a head space? Is there room in the community for them? Absolutely there is!
There are many reasons why a Little might choose to have a non-sexual relationship with their caregiver. One reason might be because they are in a long-distance relationship. Geography and time simply prevent the couple from coming together intimately. Another reason might be that the Little has religious or spiritual values that conflict with being intimate with their dominant. A Little might be a solo little without a caregiver and therefore is non-sexual for that very reason, or a Little might be in a committed relationship but doesn’t want to feel sexual in their age regression head space. The reasons for being non-sexual are numerous and as unique as each individual. This is why it’s vital that new dominants ask their submissive at the start of any relationship if they feel comfortable being sexual in Little Space.
If you were to google “DDLG” into your search bar you would find thousands of websites and images relating to our lifestyle. Most are memes or silly pictures that Littles have designed to benefit the community. But then there are other websites that aim to harm our community. They label DDLG as “gross” or call out daddies and mommies for being “pedophiles”. They lack the proper education and knowledge to understand that our lifestyle is anything but. However, my point is that it is easy to have misunderstandings about our community for this reason: children are not supposed to be sexualized. So, in the vanilla mind, people see adult Littles and think “why would they ever want to be sexual?”. If we are truly regressing in a head space to a child’s mindset, then sex should be the LAST thing on our mind, right?
And this is where the “Great Debate” in the Cg/l Community occurs. There are those within the community that wish to not be associated with BDSM and sex. They enter Little Space as a place of healing, joy, purity, and fun. They embody the feeling of childhood in which the mind is free from any thoughts of sex or arousal. (Note: That’s not to say that these people do not engage in sexual activity in their private lives! They simply choose to not involve sex in their Little Space). While others in the community prefer to identify under the BDSM umbrella and enter a Little mindset, while still retaining their sexual desires as an adult. Neither one is right nor wrong, it’s simply two paths to approach being a Little. Listen to your gut intuition and do what works best for you.
Another reason that a Little might choose to be non-sexual in Little Space is that they are concerned about the ramifications of engaging in sex with their dominant. This is particularly true if you are not married (or not in a committed relationship) with your dominant. Let’s examine this point further. Have you ever wondered why you feel so emotionally messed up after having sex with someone and they don’t call? When two people come together to engage in sex, there is a profound effect and connection that forms. There is the physical state of being where two bodies are united. There is an emotional connection that is formed, in which the other person is seeing you at your most vulnerable and exposed state. And there is a spiritual connection that forms, where that person is forever a part of your mind. Let’s call this the 3-fold cord concept. Like a rope, you two become bound together in body, emotions, and a part of your spirit. And yet, you’re not married. You lack the lasting commitment to feel confident that giving that part of yourself will be cherished. Pretty scary, right?
Now don’t get me wrong, sex isn’t bad! In fact, sex is a very beautiful act. Sex and intimacy are amazing in the right circumstances where you and your dominant are bound together and you know the relationship will be lasting. Think of intimacy as “into me see”. You’re allowing your dominant to see into your soul as you finally connect on every level. It doesn’t matter if you’re tied up into a rack being pounded roughly, or you’re making love in the most passionate way possible. The connection and intimacy is the same, therefore precaution must be taken before you allow someone to take and discover that part of you.
If you take nothing else away from this post, then I hope you have learned this: Non-sexual littles are, in fact, a major part of our community. Take the time to ask a Little how they identify and if they associate their little space as a kink or not. Ask them if they want to be identified with the BDSM community, or if they prefer a more pure and wholesome Little Space. Encourage them to open up about why they choose to be non-sexual and then respect their decision to do so. At the end of the day, we are all Littles and deserve all the love and support in the world. ❤
That’s it from me for today. Have a beautiful Friday everyone. Stay tuned for the next post and until then, keep on smiling! 🙂