Hi My Friends!
Today we are diving into part II. of the Non-Sexual Littles blog series. If you missed the first part, “Why Would Anyone Want to Be a Non-Sexual Little?” I encourage you to go back and give it a read. Today, I want to introduce a new term to you: wholesome littles. If someone were to ask me to describe my little space, I would tell them that it is “wholesome”. Unlike certain major DDLG YouTubers, there are certain things you will never see me do in little space:
- I will not smoke or drink alcohol (nor do I do either in my adult life too)
- I do not use curse words in Little Space
- I do not wear clothing that is sexual or provocative in any way while in Little Space
- And I do not play with adult sex toys while in Little Space
That said, I certainly do not judge those that do. Each Little has their own reasons for wanting to enter Little Space. For some, it is a kink (or a space for sexual arousal) while others prefer to enter Little Space as a mental release. I happen to be the later. What I am discussing today is creating a Little Space that is wholesome and clean, for those who find themselves in the minority within the Cg/l community. There is a common misunderstanding among new dominants that all littles want to engage in sexual activity or flirting while in little space. While some littles do view their DDLG/LB lifestyle as a kink, there are others that do not. They regress into a mindset that is innocent and pure. They want to experience the mental freedom of feeling young, happy, and vibrant. Sex is usually reserved for their “Big Me” (or adult) side of life.
If we’re keeping things honest up in here, I think we can all agree that we live in a “thirsty” society. Communication has never been easier to access people all across the world and engage in online sexual activity. It’s commonplace now to “sext” someone you like. People send random DM’s on Instagram hitting on Littles simply because they are a Little, without any consent or discussion if the advance is wanted or not. People Snapchat pictures of their private parts thinking that it will land them a night of naughty activities, when really… many times, the recipient doesn’t even want to see their junk! Yes, technology has been beneficial in many ways, but it has also caused harm in others.
There is a great debate within the Cg/l community about letting underage littles have access to conversations and events in the community. As a general rule of thumb, because the Cg/l lifestyle is associated with the BDSM community, conventions and meet up’s only allow legal adults (18 years and older) to attend. This is because activities within the events must be agreed upon consensually by both adults. Participation by a minor would be against the law. While I absolutely advocate for following the law, I’d like to bring another aspect to the underage little community: creating a wholesome little space while being underage.
I think back to when I was 17 years old and underage. If I’m keepin’ it real up in here, I was a young, little thing ready to make out with my then-boyfriend every chance I got! I would wear the tightest clothing and had sex on the brain all.the.time! Just because you’re underage doesn’t mean that you don’t have the same sex drives as legal adults. However, the law is the law so let’s look at this another way. What if underage littles could connect with the Cg/l community in a safe way? For example:
- Underage littles could have forums that were moderated by adults, but there was an online space where they could converse with each other and connect with other Little-friends while still keeping things safe away from older community members.
- Underage littles could host meet-up’s in a non-sexual way! They could arrange local play dates with little-only groups to: go to the park, go shopping at the mall, make a build-a-bear, go roller skating, etc. All of the activities would be “wholesome” but still allow members to go into Little Space in a safe way.
- Underage littles could host video chat playdates to access each other over the many miles to: color pictures together, have a tea party with little snacks and treats, watch a movie together (I recommend watch2gether.com because it’s FREE to steam in a private room together), and more!
Yes, there are many ways for underage littles to connect with the Cg/l Community, but to do so safely. The key here is that all of the interaction is safe, secure, and wholesome. There isn’t sex involved in any way, shape, or form because they are still minors. But I think it’s important to create an avenue for underage littles to participate so that they don’t feel left out.
Now, what about younger Littles and how they can use a “wholesome little space” to their advantage? Ahhh… younger littles. This always makes me smirk since I’m 34 years old with a bit of life experience under my belt. When I refer to younger littles I mean individuals between (18-24 years old). Now, younger littles also have a disadvantage:
- They are expected to look fresh-faced and innocent, and they do… because they are actually young. And yet, they lack the life experience and maturity to know what they want out of a D/s relationship!
I would recommend that younger littles also err on the side of caution as they ease into the Cg/l lifestyle. There are many dominants out there with the wrong intention who only target littles who are on the younger side. They prefer young women who know little about being a submissive and even less about what they want out of a D/s relationship. This can end disastrously for them, and many subs get hurt by predators posing as dominants who don’t have their best intentions at heart.
Now I know I seem like I’ve gone on a crusade against sex, but I promise you that I haven’t. I love sex! And I’m quite kinky too. But there is a time, place, and partner for any kind of sexual activity. Think of intimacy as “into me see”. You’re allowing a person to see the innermost parts of your soul. You’re laying there in all your naked glory for that individual to see. Certainly you don’t want just anyone to see your body, right? Exactly. So while Little Space can be sexualized, (and that is your own personal choice), ease into it with a partner that you deeply trust. Until then, enjoy Little Space for all of the wholesome benefits that it gives:
- Mental freedom from adult stress
- Coping with grief and trauma, by allowing your inner child to emerge and to wear your emotions so openly
- To have guidance from a dominant who is mature, has life experience, and is responsible in their own life to be able to help guide you.
- To experience pure joy and FUN as you play with your favorite toys and activities!
- To feel young again and to look adorable while doing so
I guess what I’m trying to say is, if you’re new to the lifestyle, a younger Little, or an underage little, take time to think about keeping your Little Space wholesome and pure. You have plenty of years ahead of you to be wild, free, kinky, and sexual. When you find a stable dominant, your world will open up to so many possibilities for all kinds of play. But right here and now, protect your mind and body by keeping your Little Space simple, and in a way that best suits your needs.
That’s it from me for today. I hope you all enjoyed this post. Stay tuned for the next part in this series, and until next time everyone, keep on smiling! 🙂