Hi My Friends!
Last time in the non-sexual littles blog series we discussed “The Power and Role of a Wholesome Dominant”. Today we are focusing on basic rules that ensure that Little Space remains safe, comfortable, and wholesome when you’re a non-sexual Little. These rules are beneficial, if you happen to be an age regresser who doesn’t identify within the Cg/l community, BDSM, etc. OR, if you are a Little who uses little space for other reasons besides sex and intimacy. Again, (and I cannot stress this enough), everyone’s reason for being a Little to begin with is so personal. We all slip into Little Space with a deep, internal need to feel free, happy, uplifted, and relaxed. Now, what that space looks like is entirely unique. There is no “right way” to be a Little, nor is there any room for judgment against each other. All Littles matter!
That said, today we are focusing on rules that keep little space non-sexual, so let’s get right into it:
- Check adult issues at the door during play time. There is nothing more annoying than being in little space when all of a sudden a question is asked that is clearly a “Big Me” (or adult) question and you’re forced to come out of the head space quickly. Try and be mindful to keep adult topics to discuss until after the play session is over.
- All interaction should be kept pure. This is obvious, but refrain from making innuendos, or any sexual comments towards your Little when they are in little space. If you’re a couple, but your Little prefers their little space to remain as a non-sexual space, then you need to respect their wishes. If your D/s dynamic is completely non-sexual, then you can still get on the floor and play together, or snuggle up and read a book without the physical contact being intimate and sexual. 🙂
- Go into Little Space with a clear mind. When you’re in little space, try and keep adult issues compartmentalized in the back of your mind. The goal of little space is to relax and let go into the mind set of regressing in age. Don’t try to force yourself to “go little” when your mind is cluttered. Instead, wait until you’re relaxed and happy, then slip into little space.
- Do not drink, smoke, or do drugs in little space. You would think that this is a given, but there are many Littles out there who vape, smoke, or drink in Little Space. Personally, I believe in keeping the illusion of being little, innocent and pure. I don’t smoke or drink in my adult life so that never comes into play in my little space, but I also believe in preserving the innocence of little space by keeping it free of drugs and alcohol.
- Do not use curse words in little space. Some littles like to be brats and use naughty words. That’s one thing, but using curse words while in little space is a bit jarring to the image you are trying to reflect as you regress in age. Practice being sweet and using kind words towards your dominant. It helps to keep the space wholesome and warm for you both.
- Wear modest clothing. I know I might get some backlash for this one, but I believe in wearing clothing that is little, but also doesn’t show off a ton of skin. If you are a non-sexual little, there are plenty of shops that cater to littles while offering outfits that err on the modest side of the fashion spectrum. (See my blog post on modesty for more details!).
- Use kind speech. Don’t judge each other and use manners and be polite to each other. If you’re having difficulty or a disagreement in little space, then there are healthy ways to channel that frustration as you slip out of little space to discuss your feelings. But otherwise, try and use speech that is kind, receptive, understanding, warm, and loving towards your dominant. Use your manners saying “please” and “thank you” when your mommy or daddy helps you. And never, ever judge your dom or have them judge you for something that is part of your little space. Accept each other with loving kindness as you move forward together. (For more reading on this type of communication style, read this article on compassionate communication).
- Pick wholesome activities to remove temptation. There are so many aspects about little space, and being a little that are sexualized in some way. However, regressing in age or doing things that are meant for children isn’t sexual at all! Choose activities that are designed for kids to keep your little space wholesome, such as: drawing, coloring, playing at the park, dancing, singing, reading books, etc.
- Have a contract in place. I am a big proponent in D/s or Cg/l couples having a contract for their relationship. A contract sounds like a formal, “super serious” piece of paper to have in place. But in reality, a contract protects both you and your dom while ensuring that you both uphold your limits, needs, relationship guidelines, rules, etc. It’s meant for your protection and as us, BDSM-lifestylers always say: Safety and consent always comes FIRST! (To print off your FREE Cg/l Relationship Questionnaire and Contract click here!).
- Strive to be a role model to other Littles and be on your best behavior. As you grow in your journey as a Little, you will feel more comfortable with who you are. You will meet other littles, some that you have much in common and others who you don’t, and it’s there that you will have the opportunity to be a role model. Demonstrate with your behavior how much you love and respect your dominant. Show other littles that you know how to follow the rules that your dom has set forth. How you wear your collar with pride because you earned it! You went through your submissive training to become the little that you are today! Stand up and represent our community with pride and let your actions show the world that we are a happy, optimistic, wholesome community full of consensual adults who love to let their inner child shine.
Alright, that’s it from me for today my friends! Stay tuned for the next post. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend, and as always, keep on smiling! 🙂