Hi My Friends!
We’re almost at the end of this non-sexual littles blog series. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading these posts as much as I’ve loved crafting them for you. In part 5 of this series, we discussed the power and role of a wholesome dominant. If you haven’t read that post, I encourage you to go back and do so. In that section we discussed how a dominant behaves and guides their little if you’re in a non-sexual D/s relationship. Today we’re going to expand upon that topic to discuss the do’s and don’ts of being a dominant within a pure or wholesome little space. Remember, being in little space is a state of mind. As the dominant, you will also be in a state of mind to enter daddy/mommy space. Within this mindset you will embody the person responsible for nurturing, caring, and loving upon your submissive in a wholesome, innocent, tender, loving manner that falls in line with your contract. That said, let’s examine some important things to do, (or not do), in a pure little space:
- Do be patient with your Little. This is an act of kindness and love. If you know that as a dom. you have temper issues, this is something you will want to address and work on privately before you decide to take on a D/s relationship. By nature, most littles are silly, playful, and enter a state of higher energy when they regress in age, because age regression is entering a state of mind that is child-like. If being around someone acting child-like annoys you, or you lack the patience to deal with a little who asks many questions, can be moody/bratty, is tender-hearted, etc. then I would suggest that you pursue submissives from other avenues within BDSM.
- Do learn to forgive when your Little makes mistakes. Here’s a rule of thumb to remember for every dominant: when your sub makes a mistake, odds are very likely that they are already beating themselves up mentally 10x worse than anything you can throw at them. Be gentle, and learn to forgive them when they mess up. Make gentle corrections to the behavior, but always reassure your love for them as you guide them every step of the way.
- Do take pride in guiding your Little One. Let them lay their fears on you so that you can alleviate their worries. As a daddy or mommy, you will need to have loads of patience and be an attentive listener as your sub confides their fears in you. You will want them to open up their mind regularly to express their worries, so that you can then help them to take steps to work through their issues.
- Do be mindful of how you speak to your Little. A Dom’s words hold great power. Be kind. There are many littles who are fine with the volume and any tone that is used towards them. Then there are other littles who cannot handle being hollered at. (That’s me 🙂 ). Get to know your Little and know that how you conduct yourself, matters. As the dominant, you will become the center of your Little’s universe. Most littles fall head over heels for their dominant, which means that you (as the dom) have an even greater responsibility to watch how you speak and what you say.
- Do put your trust in your Little. Be transparent with your feelings so that your communication is clear. This is especially helpful in a non-sexual or wholesome D/s relationship. You will need to set rules for your Little to abide by, but also put rules in place for you to abide by so that you both are completely comfortable. Then, once the rules are in place, put faith and trust in your Little that they will obey you.
- Don’t brag or flaunt your power as a dominant. Stay humble and thankful for your Little’s service to you. Pro tip: a true dominant doesn’t need to flaunt their power as a dom. They pull strength knowing that the submissive is the one who continues to stay, even when they can walk away at any time. They place trust and faith in their submissive to remain, and guide them with confidence as the dominant. It is a symbiotic relationship.
- Don’t ignore your Little often. Littles need time and attention more than most types of submissives. Mental health issues aside, Littles are generally people who crave attention from their caregiver. They yearn for snuggles the way a masochist yearns for delicious pain. It’s just an integral part of who a Little is! So don’t ignore your submissive. Pay close attention and remain an active role in their life.
- Don’t forget to be a role model to your Little. Your kindness and patience will keep them grounded during hard times. If you want your Little to learn to talk about their feelings when they are feeling frustrated, then you have to do it too. If you want your sub. to show you respect, kindness, and love, then you need to show those very qualities to them too. Be the role model for your sub to look up to and admire.
- Don’t assume that you know everything about being a dominant. Research being a Daddy or Mommy. Talk to other dominant’s online. Take time to learn and grow. Some forums that I recommend that include sections for dom’s to talk with one another include: Little Space Online, DDLG Friends, and DDLG Forum.
- Lastly, don’t let the bond grow stale. Keep your Little engaged, happy, and on their toes. There are so many ways to keep a Cg/l relationship alive and blossoming. Say things to push your Little into a little head space. Play games or surprise your little with coloring books and crayons. Get them a new stuffie and make a big deal out of it by designing an “adoption” certificate. You will reap all of the effort that you put into the relationship as your Little happily pounces on you with giant hugs full of love. 🙂
Being a wholesome dominant, just like any other kind of dom, takes time, patience, practice, and hard work. But I know you can do it. There are many littles who prefer non-sexual little spaces for one reason or another. I hope the tips above help to guide you in becoming the best daddy/mommy that you can be. I know you can do this! 🙂
Alright that’s it from me, my friends. Stay tuned for the next post! I hope you all have a wonderful night, and as always, keep on smiling! 🙂