An Interview with My Daddy & Our 5th Wedding Anniversary! [BDSM Interview]

Hi My Friends!

Today is the 5th wedding anniversary (or anibersaryo ng kasal in Tagalog 😉 ) of my Daddy and I! As such, I wanted to properly introduce him into my blog so you all can get a feel for who he is too. I hope you enjoy reading this interview of him. Stay tuned for more posts, have a wonderful weekend, and as always, keep on smiling! 🙂

~Penny Xx

IMG_3095
Me and my better half ❤ 
Basic BDSM Questions: 

1. What is your age? 
I am 34 years old biologically but perennially young at heart =)
2. How do you identify on the BDSM Spectrum? (Sir/ Master/ Top/ Dominant/ Daddy)
I am a Daddy Dom primarily & a Master secondary. I would say about 70-30 at the moment, but it can vary sometimes.
3. What was your first exposure to BDSM and how did it make you feel? 
My first exposure to it was two years ago when my Kitten was hurt terribly by her ex-dom. You see, she’s my best friend and dearest wife 🙂 I couldn’t bear to see her hurt so I vowed to learn as much as I can about the lifestyle. I wanted to be the one she can submit herself to fully. It was a slow burn at first but now that I’ve learned more, I love the lifestyle!
4. What do you think is most alluring, or what draws you to the lifestyle?
It definitely helped me feel more connected with her and helped us learn so much more about each other’s desires and fantasies. It’s a lifestyle that can be shrouded in mystery which adds to the appeal to me. The feeling that I share such a special bond with someone that I have with no one else is empowering. Not to mention, knowing that the community is out there so you don’t have to feel alone, is so comforting. While yes, there are people that do things the “wrong” way and can be harmful, the more you learn about the topic the easier it is to quickly identify them and avoid. Overall, it is a very accepting and fantastic community.
DDLG Questions: 
1. Have you ever had a D/s relationship? If so, what was your most positive experience about it, and did you have a contract in place with each other?
My first and only D/s relationship is with my Kitten. My most positive experience about it is seeing the pure joy in her eyes as I cradle her face in my hands, close my eyes and hear her say how much she appreciates me as her Daddy because it helps her so much mentally.  Yes, but like everything in the world I would recommend revisiting your contract every once in a while since people and circumstances change. I’m sure as we gain more experience, my Kitten and I would revisit our contract 🙂
2. What other roles have you played within the Cg/l Community? Give as much detail as you feel comfortable. 
None, I have always been a Daddy. I am fascinated by the Master/slave dynamic and I am learning more about it. As my relationship with my Kitten grows, we start to explore more and more kinks. Today a Daddy and a Master, maybe tomorrow we can be something more 😉
3. What is the hardest thing about being a dominant? What is the most rewarding feeling being a dominant? 
The hardest thing about being a dominant is that you have to be ever vigilant not just about your own needs but your submissive’s as well. In a way, you have to learn how to read your sub’s body language constantly. The hardest truth for most dominants to learn is that the sub holds the true power in the dynamic and that she can choose to walk away if she wanted to. The allure of the dominant and the illusion of power is what keeps them coming back for more. We must never let up, and always tease, always dangle that carrot in front of our sub and be several steps ahead. That can be quite exhausting. So why do it? Let me tell you my two favorite reasons. One, I found that letting my sub regularly in little space is so freeing for her that she can be her “purest self”, unburdened by stress and the worries of the big world that I see her experience pure joy. Second, because we are so bonded – I can fully tap into her fantasies and fully stimulate all her senses that when I bring her to such a strong climax, she becomes a babbling mess afterwards. Both are such  powerful and rewarding experiences.
4. What is the greatest misconception that the vanilla world thinks about Daddies? Have you ever had a negative experience within Cg/l or DDLG? 
That Daddies are pedophiles. Just because we are drawn a legal adult regresses in age, and makes a Daddy happy and in some cases aroused doesn’t mean we are attracted to minors. Remember the DDLG is all about the illusion and the mindset. Both parties must be legal adults to even think about engaging in anything remotely sexual. Not really, although I have read and heard about others being harassed because of this. Ignorance has always been and will be the downfall of many people, that’s just the sad reality. The good news is, the community is very resilient, so you can always find people who will understand.
5. What is your preferred method of discipline? How did you come to learn that that method is your style? 
Primarily withholding of privileges. My Kitten is well behaved because she is a “people pleaser” by nature. I’ve learned through our experience that she does not respond well to harsh punishments and absolutely hates being left alone. I used to think giving her timeout helps but that just made her anxious and stir up feelings of abandonment which is very counter-productive to what i am trying to teach her. Never abandon your submissive. Take away something they enjoy to show them you mean business.
6. When and how did you discover that you’re a Daddy as opposed to another form of domination? And do you view DDLG as a kink? 
Deep down, I am drawn to being a Daddy because I genuinely enjoy taking care of someone. I’ve always been praised by family that I can be playful and that I enjoyed looking out after my younger cousins and being the “big brother” to them. Entering the D/s relationship, being a Daddy really caught my eye because of my gentle and playful personality and I found through experience that it fit like a glove. DDLG is so much more than a kink to me but a true lifestyle that not only enriched my marriage with my Kitten but has both healed us.
Other Questions: 
7. What advice would you offer to new daddies or mommies? 
Never stop learning. I was very cocky when I first started thinking I could just “wing it”. Boy was I wrong! I didn’t do much outside of giving occasional commands and assuming that my Kitten would just follow along. That didn’t work out AT ALL. We didn’t feel as connected as we could have been and unsatisfied about how it was progressing.So I took a big dose of humble pill and acknowledge that I needed to learn so much more from the right sources. So I hit the books and joined the community and consumed and learned. And from that knowledge, molded our relationship and made it our own. From then on, it was as if a veil has been lifted and now we are more fulfilled than ever! In short, do your research and you won’t regret it!
8. What has been one helpful resource (book, website, etc.) that you came across that benefited your journey into BDSM or DDLG?
Is it too tacky to promote my Kitten’s blog? (www.littlepennyberry.com) *laughs* Other resources that I like are how to books by Elizabeth Cramer on BDSM. Social media like Instagram can be helpful when connecting with the community so get out there and socialize!
9. Have you ever been to, or would consider going to, a BDSM street fair, a Cg/l Convention, etc.?
I have never been to one. My Kitten and I are generally more careful when it comes to meeting others. But I think we would enjoy a fun, safe, and judgment-free environment like conventions!
10. What is one aspect of BDSM that you are most looking forward to exploring more, and why? Are there any other types of submissives that you’re interested in meeting people from that path/style?
Definitely the Master mindset. I think it’s a fascinating dynamic and could help enhance our relationship more. Plus I think there’s a beauty to complete submission on every aspect of a slave’s life to a master. I imagine it would be so freeing for the slave, and on the flip side to have so much control as a Master. I’d love for my Kitten and I to meet a couple in such a dynamic and pick their brains a bit. 🙂
11. Do you feel that BDSM porn or DDLG porn is a good representation of the community as a whole? Why or why not? 
No, because 99% of porn are actors and actresses that are there for a paycheck 🙂 I’m sure that number is probably off but the point stands. Most media, safe or not for work, has always gotten BDSM/DDLG wrong. One, the power dynamic is flipped and two, the motivation is wrong. Porn is meant and designed to titillate and get people off and for a lot that suits it well. And yes, a lot of the dynamics in BDSM and/or DDLG can be sexual, it is so much more than that. It is a lifestyle that comes with its own intricacies, rules and guidelines to adhere to. It’s like the difference between eating fast food and an absolutely scrumptious home-cooked meal. Sure they are both food and can get the job done, but one is so much more fulfilling 😉
12. Lastly, what advice would you give to other dom’s who are looking for a Little or submissive?

I would say find a Little who complements your personality well. If you know you are a Daddy, find a Little who is naturally bubbly and playful. If you are a Master, find a slave who genuinely loves to serve. If you are a Sadist, find a Masochist that would just love every amount of pain you are craving to dish out. There is a reason why the ancient Indian book of love and life, the “Kama Sutra” spends an entire chapter on compatibility because it’s quite important – don’t try to make a square peg fit a round hole just because you think they are pretty or hot. Most importantly though, never let any prejudice or perception dictate your choice. A Little does not need to be a spinner, nor do they have to be between the age of 18-25 exclusively. One of the most successful DDLG relationships I have read about was a couple well in their 80’s and still very much happy and rocking and rolling! Just because someone has a high powered job, doesn’t mean they would never be a slave submissive. Remember when I mentioned earlier a dom has to be very observant. Keep an open mind, pay attention to more than their physical attributes and really get to know someone on the inside to find the perfect fit for you – just like I did ❤

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s