Hi My Friends!
Tonight I wanted to share with you a topic that isn’t commonly spoken about in the Cg/l community: babysitters. Just as vanilla children have babysitters when their parents go out on a date, so too do littles have babysitters when their dominant is away. Now, littles can have babysitters for various reasons. Some long for more companionship. Others like to be in Little Space more regularly, and therefore ask a babysitter to watch over them so they can regress. While others have friends who are dominants who yearn to babysit so they can practice being a daddy or mommy. The reasons are vast, but I’ll share with you why I believe having a babysitter can benefit a Cg/l relationship greatly.
There is a common thread among most littles that we crave attention. We don’t nag for it, as most people expect littles to do. Instead, it comes from a deep internal need to be seen and acknowledged. Often times littles are those with a yearning for love, friendship, and belonging. Being a daddy or mommy is no easy task. A dominant must regularly push aside their needs to enter the head space and care for their little. While doms do this willingly, and gain fulfillment from being a daddy or mommy, they still have personal needs of their own. They are individuals who need “adult time” too. This is when having a babysitter is a true gift.
Like a substitute teacher, a babysitter can step in as the “temporary daddy/mommy” to watch over the little. They are usually someone the little trusts, knows, and respects deeply. The babysitter must be a dominant who has demonstrated their ability to connect well with the little. Unlike the daddy or mommy, a babysitter doesn’t have to deal with punishment or discipline. Instead, they can enjoy the benefits of Little Space as the sub. dives into the head space to color, play, laugh, and sing. There is a feeling of liberation in knowing that if your dom is tired from a long day at work, that a babysitter can swap in to alleviate their stress.
Now if the D/s relationship is long-distance, a babysitter can still come in handy for the daddy/mommy. If the dom is unable to video chat, and the little wants to play, then a babysitter-friend can link up and video chat with the little to “watch over” their little space play. Many might wonder where you can get a babysitter, or why doms would want to babysit in the first place?! Let’s examine these questions more closely.
Babysitters usually come into a Little’s life in one of the following ways:
- An online connection/friendship
- Meeting in a video game
- A mutual friend of the dominant
- A mutual friend of the submissive
- A personal ad on a Cg/l site or BDSM site
Meeting online can be very beneficial for a babysitter to establish a friendship with a little and gain experience babysitting from afar. Online avenues (video chat, phone calls, etc.) allow for the little and babysitter to talk and hang out in a safe manner for both parties. (Note: Please be careful when meeting someone for the first time. Do your homework and ensure that you’re meeting face to face in a public space if you do decide to connect with a babysitter. And bring your dom along for the first visit!).
Many doms choose to become babysitters for several reasons:
- They’re new to the lifestyle and want to gain experience being around a little.
- They don’t want a full-time D/s relationship, but they love connecting on a part-time basis with the Cg/l community in such a way.
- They’re friends with a D/s couple, and want to assist the little in their personal growth as a good friend and dom.
The babysitter gets the perks of being able to connect with a little, enjoy little space, without having the “work” of a D/s relationship. It’s a great avenue for some doms to pursue.
The last point I’d like to mention is choosing a babysitter. Just as you wouldn’t reveal your little side to anyone. So too should you be picky about who you choose for a babysitter. Take your time and pick mindfully. Choose someone with a temperament that suits your personality. Pick someone that you trust and genuinely enjoy their company. Here are a few questions to ask a potential babysitter:
- How old are you?
- How do you identify on the BDSM spectrum? (Dom/Sub/Switch)
- What hours are you available to babysit me? What is your schedule like?
- Have you ever babysat a Little before?
- How do you usually discipline a Little?
- What are your favorite activities to do with a Little?
- Do you have your own D/s relationship?
- Why do you want to babysit me?
- Have you met, or are friends with my mommy or daddy? (If not, you should meet him/her!)
- What expectations do you have from me for babysitting me in Little Space?
- What is a negative experience that you’ve had babysitting? How did you handle it?
- What is a positive experience that you’ve had babysitting? Why do you think it went so well?
Important Points to Share with Your Babysitter:
- Discuss what your typical Little Space looks like and what things you enjoy doing.
- Discuss if you are a sexual or non-sexual Little.
- If you are going to do a specific play scene with your caregiver, make sure to follow the 4 steps to a healthy play scene: Communication and Consent, Play, Aftercare, and Debriefing.
I hope these points, tips, and questions will help you navigate the decision if you’d like to incorporate a babysitter into your D/s dynamic. But for now, that’s it from me, my friends! Stay tuned for the next post. Have a wonderful weekend, and as always, keep on smiling! 🙂