Hi My Friends!
Today is Day 6 of the “100 Days of Dom-Sub Bonding” and today I encourage you to sit down with your partner to each fill out this kinks and fantasies checklist. There are many BDSM checklists online, but I wanted one that was specifically tailored for Littles, AND also included a section for fantasies. Let’s talk about taboo fantasies for a moment. Often times we will have a fantasy that runs through our mind. Maybe we saw it in a movie, or became inspired after looking at a porn video. Whatever the source may be, we have the fantasy, and then feel a sense of guilt or shame. (It is called taboo for a reason 😉 ).
But I’m here to impress upon you that you never need to feel guilt, shame, or fear for the thoughts you have. A fantasy is simply a thought, or desire that lies in your mind. It doesn’t mean that you will act upon it. It’s simply there. It doesn’t make you a monster. You don’t need to chastise yourself for the thoughts you have. What’s important is to sort between fantasy and reality. Then, if you choose to do so, find a safe, legal, consensual, and healthy manner to bring your fantasy to real life. But understand that taboo fantasies are thrilling because of the element of shame attached to it. We know deep down if we were to go out and do said act, that it goes against the moral compass of society. So there is that mental aspect of shame, along with enticement. It’s what makes the taboo fantasy raw, gritty, and alluring.
Having a kink simply means having a sexual attraction towards something or someone. There is a wide spectrum of kinks that is literally hundreds and hundreds of pages long. Knowing what you’re sexually attracted to is important. Knowing what you’re sexually curious about is also important. Don’t be afraid to dive into the parts of yourself that are curious about a new kink or fetish. Just because you have an attraction doesn’t mean you will act on it. Maybe you will or maybe you won’t. But you will have taken the time to acknowledge and make peace with that part of yourself that the attraction is there. Again, there is no shame or reason for feeling guilt because you have a certain kink. It’s simply what makes you… you! There are tons of people out there who also share your kink. You’re not alone and you’re certainly not “weird”.
I hope you find this kinks and fantasies checklist helpful in your journey together as Dom-Sub. This checklist can be a powerful, foundational tool for every D/s relationship. Giving your dominant the wisdom of where your kinks and desires lie, will help them to guide you better in the bedroom. I hope you all have a beautiful Sunday. Stay tuned for the next post, and as always, keep on smiling! 🙂
To get your Day 6 “Kinks and Fantasies Checklist” click the image below!