All day yesterday I was in a mood. I was in one of those thoughtful, contemplative moods. My Daddy (and husband) blamed it on my hormones. He’s probably right. But regardless, it brought up a very strong conviction within me: there are times where I just can’t be Little. Regressing in age is a wonderful release. I get to be happy, free-spirited, and feel extremely fulfilled. But in reality, I’m not 7. I’m 34. I have bills that need to be paid just like everybody else. I wake up to that annoying alarm at 6 am on the dot, only to spring out of bed and be reminded that I probably shouldn’t be springing anywhere anymore 😉
There are many times where the thought of sucking on a bottle just makes me roll my eyes. I know that probably seems like blasphemy considering I’ve published two books on DDLG and I have this blog. But my point in all of this is, just as there is a Little Me, so too is there a Big Me. While I’m on my soap box rant, I’d like to talk about Instagram for a moment. I have an Instagram, but we might be breaking up with each other soon. When I write on here to all of you, I feel free. My creative projects flow seamlessly and I can write from the heart. But on Instagram, like most other social media, it’s a rat race. If you don’t post often enough you lose followers. When you post all the time, you gain followers. And so you begin to slip into the vicious cycle of looking at your phone more than you look out at the actual world.
While looking down at my phone, all I see are pictures of people clad in onesies sucking on a pacifier, or showing off their bodies for the whole world to see. Excuse my language for a moment, but who the hell walks around looking like that on a regular basis?? Certainly not me. Do I wear onesies? Sure, in a play session or if I’m intentionally feeling Little, I do. But most of the time I wear normal clothes just like any other woman.
Which brings me to why I wrote this blog post in the first place: I can be a submissive without having to be Little.
I feel like with every passing year I ask myself, “Will I always be Little?” and the answer is never clear. However, there are 11 subcultures within the path of submission. Only 1 of those is Cg/l. The rest are more adult paths, including: slave, taken in hand, domestic servant, kajira, pleasure slave, masochist, submissive (M/s), pet, and pony girl. And so, in these times where I just can’t be Little… where I want to pack up my pacifier and bottle, and say “to hell with onesies right now”… that is where I dig deep and slip into the other parts of my submission.
I am a submissive. I also call myself a hybrid Little, because I am a Little when I feel small, and a “taken in hand” submissive wife the rest of the time. So today, I am Big Me. Just my adult self. And for now, that seems nice.
Do you ever have moments where you struggle being Cg/l? Comment and let me know! Have a wonderful day, everyone!