Can you be Christian and still be into BDSM? (Hint: Yes, you can!)

Good Afternoon My Friends!

I hope you all are having a relaxing Friday. Around here I’m watching thick, dark clouds roll in, forcing me to illuminate the house and make everything just a tad brighter. Gloomy days can feel so relaxing. Today’s post was something on my heart that I just needed to express. It’s something that I’ve grappled with for some time before making peace with it. I’m a Christian, and I’m also kinky. I listen to worship music, and I also love reading books on BDSM. But for the longest time I felt like, perhaps I was living in sin every time I went into Little Space. I worried that I was damning my soul to hell because I wanted to be spanked, tied up, and taken roughly. I have never been your average “Christian girl next door”. I didn’t fit the mold, and that scared me.

So I wrestled with these feelings. Could I be into BDSM and still be a Christian? I tried to reason in my head, thinking things like, “Okay so… obviously Jesus didn’t have sex. But, there are plenty of references towards sex in the Bible. In fact, the Book of Solomon has scripture about oral sex!”. So… a D/s relationship and BDSM can’t be that much of a “sin”… can it? As it turns out, the world of domination and submission are already woven into the Bible. So if you’re sitting there worrying about if you can be a Christian AND be a happy kinkster too, relax my friend. Yes, you can and I’m about to show you how.

I. Submission is already rooted in the Bible! 

If you’re wondering where the (Taken in Hand) D/s relationships under the BDSM umbrella get their inspiration from, look no further than The Bible! There are several verses that speak about submission. In context, the Bible refers to husbands and wives. Many D/s relationships (like my own) are between a husband and wife. But, I also think that if you’re in a deeply committed, long partnership with your dominant or submissive, then these scriptures can also apply to you for guidance.

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, his body, for which he is savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit unto their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Ephesians 5:22-25)

When we read scripture from the Bible we have to really study it and be able to apply it to our lives today. What this verse is saying is, submissives, yield unto your dominant. Let him lead you, and guide you, just as you would submit freely unto Christ. And Dominants, just as the Lord gave himself up for the church and the body of Christ, so too should you be willing to give fully to your submissive. Love, guide, and protect them with all that you are. A true D/s relationship is symbiotic. Always giving and receiving in an ever-flowing circle.

If you’re interested in BDSM relationships that incorporate more Christian values, I would recommend looking into the (Taken In Hand) path of submission and domination. Traditionally these D/s or M/s relationships are rooted in marriage, but anyone can practice this path. It is one of domestic servitude from the submissive and the dominant is the head of the household. There are several excellent resources I would encourage you to check out if this path interests you:

Books: 

Blogs and Articles: 

II. Setting Boundaries for Your Play Sessions Based Upon Your Beliefs: 

You will see on here that I state openly (many times) that my Daddy is also my husband. I say it for many reasons, but one of the main reasons is that a D/s relationship that is also a marriage generally is more stable than one that is not. Now, before you grab your pitchforks, hear me out! A true D/s relationship should be one that is lasting, fulfilling in every way, and is a lifestyle choice. There are multiple forms of domination and submission that can include: part-time submissives, service-oriented submissives, long distance D/s relationships, etc. And should you choose to be in one of these kinds of relationships that is completely, 100% fine! No judgment here.

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But, I have never met a person in the BDSM scene that doesn’t want a long-lasting, “I’ve got your back always”, live-in arrangement with their dom or sub. It’s the ultimate dream for every sub that I’ve ever met. Again, do what makes you happy, but for the sake of this post I’m going to discuss why having a D/s relationship within the bounds of marriage is beneficial. When your D/s relationship is within covenant, the sky is the limit. As Christians, we know that sex is an incredible, beautiful act that should be shared with your husband or wife. Now ramp that to 11 and make your marriage a D/s relationship filled with passionate play sessions and you have one, very fulfilling life!

Once you make peace with being a Christian and being into D/s, you can move forward with confidence knowing that there are certain things within the BDSM community that you won’t engage in simply because of your beliefs, and that’s okay! One limit might be restricting what social media you engage in because of the nudity content. Another might be placing a rule to not watch pornography. You might decide to not go to dungeons because the intimate play that you have with your partner is something to keep private in your home. There is a quote by Bishop T.D. Jakes that I heard once while watching one of this sermons. He said:

“Once I envision where I’m going, then I can tell what I don’t need” (Bishop T.D. Jakes)

Once you decide that being Christian is a part of who you are, you can make decisions on how to build your D/s relationship, and build your Cg/l lifestyle around your beliefs.

III. Let go of the guilt and be a role model for Christianity: 

If I’m being completely honest, being Christian in today’s society isn’t always easy. There are different types of people that I meet, and when the topic of religion comes up they usually have one of several types of reactions:

  • They either don’t want to discuss religion, or they flat out deny that there is a God.
  • They are “Christian lite” and do the Christmas, Easter, and maaaaybe Thanksgiving service thing.
  • They are open to listening about Christianity, but begin to get glossy-eyed and bored because they’ve had some traumatic experience with another believer, or they’ve had religion shoved down their throat from an early age.
  • Or, they are a believer and are super into the message.

I will never tell anyone what to believe, or that they should be a believer in Christ. Honestly, I believe the path between you and God is a personal journey that, you and you alone, should make. What I can tell you is, if you are believer, we have a monumental responsibility to show the world that not every Christian is a closed-minded, judgmental, intolerable person. Instead, let’s demonstrate the real lessons from the Bible and live them in quiet, humble submission.

Embrace how God made you for you are beautiful and wonderfully made (psalm 139:14). Remember that God gave us free will to express ourselves completely, (and that includes wearing cute onesies and snuggling up to our daddies and mommies! 🙂 ). Embrace who you are as a Christian and as a dominant or submissive. Don’t be so quick to judge others, or they will judge you too (Matthew 7:1). Help others in your local community (and in these BDSM organizations!) and pay it forward. As you grow comfortable with your relationship in Christ, you will see that He will begin to change you. You will grow in spirit and begin to develop a servant’s heart. You will go back to the fundamentals of Christian character building to practice: love, loyalty, trust, honesty, respect, contentment, gentleness, flexibility, etc. all qualities that your dominant will crave in their submissive.

So can you be a Christian and be into BDSM? Of course you can! ❤

That’s it from me for this post, my friends, I hope you enjoyed it! Stay tuned for the next topic. Have a wonderful Friday, and as always, keep on smiling! 🙂

~Penny Xx

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