Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby (Part 7): My Personal Truth About Cunnilingus [Kitten’s Ramblings]

Hi Friends,

It’s late at night and I am sitting here with a cup of tea pondering how to type out my thoughts to you. I had every intention of this post being completely different. I was going to talk about how men don’t really care if you have hair down there or not. That every woman should feel proud to have their princess parts licked and eaten. I was going to tell you about how fun cunnilingus can be, especially if you do 69. I wanted to share with you how being eaten out is amazing to build up to sex. I had all of these thoughts and then…. I just couldn’t write it. You see, when I write on here (even if the post is more informative rather than personal) if I don’t believe in it as my own personal truth, then I can’t stamp my name next to it. So, if you’re a woman who loves her pussy being eaten out… then God bless you. This post is definitely not for you, and I’ll see you on the next one. ❤

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For everyone else out there who struggles with being eaten out, welcome to the party. Pull up a chair with me and let’s dive in.

Hi, my name is Kitten… and I don’t like my pussy being eaten.

There. I said it. Now I have to own my words. I am a kinky, happy Little who is sexually adventurous in so many ways, but when it comes to being eaten out… it’s just not my thing! For the longest time I felt like there was something wrong with me. I’d see movie scenes where the woman would push the man’s head down between her legs and her eyes would roll back into her skull, and I’d think, “dang… why don’t I feel that way?”. I wondered if perhaps my vagina was somehow different or “broken”. I fretted that perhaps I’m immune to the pussy-pleasure sensation of a tongue lapping against my clit. And to make matters worse, all of these feelings aren’t for a lack of trying! No, I’ve had a man’s tongue swish, swirl, lap, flick, and suck against my clit in every fashion. Yet still, I couldn’t achieve orgasm.

So unlike other posts where I’m encouraging you to do something, or sharing my own story in hopes that it inspires you… this post will be different. This is my soap box rant of why I hate being eaten out. (If I’m boring you, please accept my apologies and I’ll see you on the next post 🙂 ).

I. To Shave or Not To Shave– That is the Question! 

When I first began having sex it was a no-brainer. I shaved my princess parts down to the skin without a hair showing anywhere. But now at 34, there are times where I’ve shaved only to have my husband be too tired to go south of the border. (Or heck, sometimes we pass out early together!). Then the next day I would question if I needed to shave at all. Should a woman “prep” her pussy to be eaten? Do men usually prep their penis to be sucked? Rarely. So should I shave? Perhaps I need a shaving-pussy schedule, where I only shave it when I know I’m about to get eaten out? Although I can’t imagine that my husband would be too fond of me saying, “um, one moment honey. Give me 10 minutes to go trim back the jungle and then I’m good to go!”.

II. Am I Supposed To Cum During Cunnilingus? 

This is perhaps the most frustrating part about being eaten out. I admit that mentally I get nervous which stifles my ability to cum. But beyond that, I worry if I’m supposed to have an orgasm during it. Unlike giving head where you just suck, and suck, and suck until he cums… for me, it’s more like.. lapping and licking until…. *shrugs*? Now don’t get me wrong, it certainly feels great! But do I cum? Well…. not so much. And I feel bad! I feel guilty for not cumming, as if my husband were doing something wrong with this tongue (which he likely isn’t). So, I don’t know if I’m supposed to cum, and if I am then perhaps I should be putting myself into a mental mantra of: I will cum on his tongue… I will cum on his tongue…. Ommmmm…..

III. And What if I Toot?! *dies* 

Okay, can we keep it real for a moment? Does anyone else out there in the universe worry about farting in bed? I know I do. After 6 years of being together I still stress about this happening during sex. And while it never has, my mind freaks out that one day he will be down there licking and lapping away when all of a sudden… I’ll toot. And then I will promptly turn Fifty Shades of Kill Me Now and die. It’s a real fear, people.

IV. Oh No, Don’t Kiss Me After You’ve– 

I know I’m going to sound like such a dork on this one. But my blog is H.O.T. ( humble, open, and transparent) so here we go. I love giving head. I absolutely love the smell of a man’s musk. I love tasting jizz on my tongue. But, I don’t like the taste of pussy. I’ve heard that some women have a “fishy” taste. (Thank God mine doesn’t taste like that). Yet still, I have tasted myself during sex after my husband has come up to kiss me from being between my thighs. Now I don’t kill the moment and shove him away. But mentally I’m always like, “Nooooo I don’t want to taste me! If I wanted to eat me, I’d plant a money tree… clone myself… and then fuck myself! BLAH!!!” *Wipes off my lips discreetly while he’s not looking*

So, yeah. I don’t like my pussy being eaten. This blog post is raw, real, silly, and scrambled… just like me. I know I was supposed to convince you that being eaten out is amazing, and it likely is for most women. But if you’re like me, that rare bird that hasn’t had that “mind blowing” pussy-eating out experience…. well…. then this post was for you. You’re not alone. 🙂

That’s it from me, my friends. Stay tuned for the next post. Have a wonderful night and as always, keep on smiling! 🙂

~Penny Xx

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