Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby (Part 8): The Do’s and Don’ts of Anal Sex [10-Part Series]

Good Morning Friends,

Today I want to talk about anal sex. Unlike cunnilingus, anal sex is something that I actually enjoy. Though I’ve had some wacky experiences, like that time that sex sent me to the ER, overall my experiences with anal sex have been positive ones. So, today I’d like to discuss the do’s and don’ts of anal sex for all of you who are curious about exploring “back there”.

I. Don’t Just Stick It In. Use Lube!: 

When I was younger, (think early twenties) I was with a past partner when things began to heat up. We had messed around before so I felt safe and comfortable. Then out of nowhere he decides to shift things and try anal sex. Except that he didn’t tell me. There wasn’t any “teasing” over my bum, or body language to indicate that he wanted to go there. Instead, he flipped he over onto all fours. Thinking that we were about to do doggy, I got excited and grinned. Suddenly, with no lube on his cock he slammed it into my ass. Or rather he tried.

Now my ass is like Fort Knox. Unless you warm me up (for a while!) anal sex isn’t happening. And given that there was no lube two things happened immediately:

  1. His cock bent against my ass and he yelped out in sheer pain.
  2. I cried out as pain shot through my ass and up my spine. I began to weep as I quickly pulled away.

Moral of the story: Use lube people. Lots and lots of lube. Talk about anal sex beforehand and if you want to go back there to play, let your partner know. Prepare them, body, mind, and soul. It’s worth taking the time to prepare your partner to have a successful, and pleasurable experience.

II. Anal Sex is a Journey: 

One of the most successful experiences I’ve had with anal sex was with my husband, and we were watching LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring. (Yes, I’m a nerd). Did you know that the first Lord of the Rings movie is almost 3 hours long? Well, it is. And it took that long to get my ass to go from “You shall not pass!” to “Welcome ladies and gentleman”. If you don’t do it regularly, your anus won’t be used to being stretched enough to accommodate for sex. So make the time for it. Start with fingers and teasing. If your partner can work up past that to a plug, go for it. Not every plug is created equal. (Trust me, I know). I recommend beginning with a Crystal Jelly Anal Starter dildo. It’s cheap, thin, flexible, and the material doesn’t hurt one bit. That’s what I started with. I figured, if I hated anal sex then I wouldn’t have spent much money at all. It was very pleasurable.

Then once you’ve grown used to the jelly dildo you can graduate into something a bit larger. There are many inexpensive butt plug kits that come in multiple sizes to slowly train your bum to stretch enough to work into sex. Again, use lube. Lots and lots of lube. (You can even buy a vat of lube!). Hehe, I’m kidding ❤

III. Does Anal Sex Hurt?: 

Yes and no. The anus isn’t designed to stretch and expand too much like the vagina is, so there is caution and care needed when playing around back there. As the anus stretches, you’ll feel some resistance which can feel painful, but it’s not “ouch! that really hurts!!” kind of pain. If your dominant is attuned to your body and moving slow, they will read your signals and move at your pace. Not theirs. Use your safe words, and be honest with where your pain threshold lies. Give yourself time to grow used to the new sensation of having fingers or a toy in your bum. It’s a different experience.

Honestly, the strangest sensation is always pulling the toy out at the end because it feels like… pooping? Maybe, pooping with a slight sensation of burning? I know that sounds far from romantic, but anal sex is extremely pleasurable once you get going.

IV.: But what if I poop on my partner?!: 

I haven’t met one person in my life who, when we talk about anal sex, they don’t fear pooping on their partner… or the toy… or both. It’s a natural fear and I totally get it. Here are some quick tips to overcome this anxiety:

  • Don’t eat a meal within an hour before anal play. Keep your meals light for the day and try to eat things that don’t naturally produce a lot of gas. (No fried, heavy foods. No beans and onions, etc.)
  • Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! Sex is a workout and anal sex is no different. Believe it or not, water gives your body energy and you’ll want to be fully hydrated before you enter a play session.
  • Shower before you play and shower after! Safety and hygiene are key!
  • If needed, shave your bum to feel sexier and have smooth skin back there.

Although tons of people are afraid of pooping during anal sex, it is unlikely to happen. And if you’re really freaked out, keep some diaper wipes nearby on your nightstand. They are an essential to have in the bedroom for all kinds of bodily fluids that are flowing during sex. 🙂

V. Does it really feel that good?: 

Yes, it really does. I’m not a masochist. I don’t relish pain during sex. I don’t live for my body aching and writhing in a dance of pain and pleasure. So, when it comes to anal sex I’m picky about when, how, and with whom I have it with. Even with my high standards I can promise you that: if you do it with a partner that you trust, it is immensely pleasurable. You feel dominated in a way that vaginal sex can’t stack up to. You feel filled, completely, because the ass is so tight. You feel naughty, and slutty which is a great, mental experience in itself. And your partner is sure to blow their load quickly as they pound down into you from above. 😉

*Fans my face*

Alright my friends, that’s it from me for today. Now I need to go take a cold shower and begin my day. I hope you all have a wonderful, relaxing Sunday. Stay tuned for the next post. And as always, keep on smiling! 🙂

~Penny Xx

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