I know it has been two very long months since I last posted. In truth, I didn’t intend on taking a break. But there are times when adult life demands that we slow down, and regroup, before we can march on again. In the last update I was battling my anxiety. I’ve been very vocal about my journey in hopes that it would help someone out there too. Fast forward to today, and I can say that I am in a much happier, healthier place than I was and I’m looking forward to a very positive 2019. That said, Happy Spring!
It’s finally starting to warm around here and I am enjoying the change of pace. I feel like Snow White, having woken up after a long sleep. Except that I wasn’t sleeping. I was caring for my health and adjusting to a new self-care pattern. In the past several months I’ve had some wonderful revelations:
I. A strong DDlg relationship anchors you when everything else feels up in the air.
There were times where I felt like creatively I was tapped dry. Between beginning a new anti-anxiety medication and keeping with my normal day to day schedule, I was spent. I went to bed early and woke up groggy. My days blurred and felt foggy. But my Daddy was there day after day, allowing me to go through the up’s and downs of this health journey. I was still able to be Little without crawling into onesies or putting a binky in my mouth. Being a Little comes from within. It’s who you are. It’s the fabric of your soul, and that meant that with every headache and frustration, he would rock me gently and give me extra cuddles. It helped immensely.
II. It’s okay to be different.
Part of this journey has meant embracing the fact that I am different from the norm of society. Being a Little, and being into DDlg and Cg/l means that there isn’t a large audience of readers out there who can relate to how I feel. But you know what? That’s okay! It’s okay to be different. It’s okay to be 100% authentic with who you are. It’s okay to babble when you’re tired, or get fussy when you’re upset. It’s okay to bury your face and want to hide under blankets when the world feels overwhelming. It’s okay to pack on 10 pounds from chocolate when life gets messy, and it’s okay to try new workouts until something clicks with you. Be you! Be your crazy, colorful, unique self. That’s what the world needs. ❤
III. Once you’ve lived a Cg/l lifestyle, it’s hard to “go back”.
I recently spoke to a vanilla person who was curious about the lifestyle. Needless to say, after learning more about our lifestyle, they decided that it wasn’t for them. The conversation went fine, and I didn’t feel awkward. But it did surface some feelings in my own journey to this point. As I sat with my Daddy quietly he suddenly said to me, “I can never go back to being vanilla like I used to be”. Growing up in the Philippines, in a conservative background, he never knew about BDSM. It wasn’t until he came to America and met others in the lifestyle did he discover his own kinks and fantasies. Along this journey, I, too, have felt the same feelings as my daddy did. I can never “go back” to just having vanilla-style sex. Having experienced colorful, enriching, wild, kinky play sessions… it’s hard to be satisfied with “just missionary”. Does that make sense?
Anyway, I hope you all stay tuned for more fun posts as I ease back into this blog. Keep smiling my friends and have a beautiful day!