My apologies on being absent for a few days on here. Life got SO busy, but I’m back with today’s introspective question: how do you discover that you’re a Little? I wish I could tell you that there is a quiz in a “Tiger Beat” magazine to check off, or that there is a site where you can “test” to see your percentage of being a Little. Sadly, there isn’t. (Although I’m sure someone invented it somewhere by now 🙂 ). The truth is, that being a Little is more a process of self-discovery. Have you ever read something that felt like it was meant just for you? Or perhaps you heard a song that spoke to your soul in a way that no other music could touch? That feeling, that “aha” moment… is the same way that Littles come to discover that they are a part of our community.
I. Reflection and Introspection:
I always say that the best way to learn more about your passions and interests is to study the paths of those who already have walked before you. Or in other words: research, study, learn, and then live! Order DDLG books from Amazon. Attend one of the many national conferences to meet other people in the community. Go online to Cg/l websites and forums to interact with people from around the world. And ask TONS of questions! When I first got into the lifestyle I was hungry for information. I wanted to know how other Littles thought, and what made them feel Little. I wanted to know if it was necessary to have a dominant, or if I could be a Little without having a daddy or mommy.
Once I had gathered a sufficient amount of knowledge, interacted with the community and made friends, and had begun realizing that being a Little is who I am…. it was time for introspection. I took time to learn what type of Little I am.
II. Know That No Two Littles Are Alike:
Once you’ve decided that this lifestyle is for you, then it’s time to find your own path into the Little Community. Some questions to ponder include:
- Are you a Little, Middle, or Adult Baby?
- Do you enjoy comfort from pacifiers and bottles?
- Are you curious about wearing adult diapers?
- Have you practiced regressing in age before?
- Do you want to have a Mommy or a Daddy?
- Is your Little Space a kink for you, or not?
These questions will define who you are as a Little, and the people that you surround yourself with. One thing that I love about the community, is that no two Littles are alike. We all share different passions, interests, and have our own way of doing things. But sharing our knowledge (as I do with you on here), is another way for us to come together. Find people who are down to earth and are open about the lifestyle. Ask questions and make friendships. These people will help you feel less isolated in a largely “vanilla” world.
III. Being Little in a Big Vanilla World:
“Vanilla” is a term within the world of BDSM that we use to indicate people who are not into the kink lifestyle. Others use the term to identify as people not in the Cg/l community. In short, vanilla simply means people who are not interested in our lifestyle. That said, it can be assumed that most people don’t identify or deeply understand the Little community. They just don’t. There are plenty of misconceptions out there about what being a Little or a Caregiver is. But unless you’re a part of the community, or you’ve done sufficient research on the subject from reliable sources, then you can get misguided information.
Many Littles have to stay “in the closet” with being a Little. Perhaps they live at home and their family isn’t supportive of alternative lifestyles? A Little might be new to the lifestyle and feel unsure about how to thrive in the community. As such, they keep their curiosities a secret from the world. There are many ways to be “kinky” in public yet to do it in a way that doesn’t shock people. Baby step your way into the lifestyle and find out what you’re comfortable with.
In time, as you grow more sure of who you are as a Little, you will learn what your borders and boundaries include. You will know what clothing excites and makes you feel small. You will learn what tools are necessary for you to have a comforting Little Space. You will know what helps you slip into the mindset, and what obstacles prevent you from doing so. Then, if/when you decide to connect with a dominant, you will be fully prepared as an individual to convey your preferences to them, so that you can come together to build a strong relationship foundation.
I hope this post has been informative and helpful for you, my friends. Discovering that you’re a Little is much like unearthing an ancient relic. It takes time, patience, and gentle care. Nurture and love yourself with every baby step, because you’re so so worth it. Have a beautiful day, friends and stay tuned for the next post!