I’m back with another post in this “Seasoned” series, and tonight I’m diving into the world of being a Little and being over 30. Given that I will be 35 this year, this post really made me reflect on how different I feel (at times) in our community. Being an older Little can set you apart in some ways. We get judged for being “old” when we don’t feel old at all. We might get labeled as a “cougar” or a “MILF” if we have a younger dominant, and these labels are not something any Little wants to be associated with. But there are many advantages that being a seasoned Little brings. So let’s dive in and take a closer look together:
I. The Seasoned Little Isn’t “Sex Fueled”:
If you scroll through DDLG posts and Cg/l posts on Instagram you’ll quickly learn that there are 2 main types of Littles. There are those that regress and live the lifestyle, and those that use our label as a kink. There are littles that show off pictures of their breasts and legs, writing, “come destroy me daddy” on their pictures, while others will take a sweet picture with a pacifier and onesie talking about the things that they love. Neither is right or wrong. But the seasoned Little can distinguish between the two easily. We’ve been around the block sexually. We’ve had our moments to “throw down” and take a stiff pounding. We’ve rivaled gymnasts in bed, and so now in our Little Space we are looking for a dominant who is the whole package.
The seasoned Little isn’t sex-driven. They are service-driven. We understand what it means to submit to a dominant, and as such, we want a daddy or mommy who knows what they’re doing. We’re looking for a partner who is experienced enough to guide, lead, and protect our heart. Sex is great, but we have the maturity and life experience to not leap at every dick that comes our way. 🙂
II. The Seasoned Little Knows What They Need in a Dom:
In the last post I discussed the goals that a dominant needs to strive for. Tonight I want to share the goals that a Little should be aiming to achieve:
- Have a service-oriented mindset that yearns to please your dominant. You aren’t a doormat. But you should naturally be going out of your way to do loving acts of kindness for your dominant.
- Work hard to reach your personal goals with the help of your dominant. (Be honest with yourself. What goals have you always wanted to achieve, but have struggled to do so? These are the goals that a dominant can help you with).
- Always work on being open, transparent, and clear with your feelings towards your dominant. They can’t lead you if you aren’t 100% honest with your feelings and intentions.
Once you hit your 30’s you have usually seen people who you’ve connected with, and people that you haven’t. You know what you’re looking for in a dominant, and other traits that you just can’t stand. It is important to convey these things to a potential daddy or mommy early on as you’re beginning to get to know each other. Which leads me to point three…
III. The Seasoned Little Can Communicate Well:
When it comes to a D/s relationship communication is key. Arguably, communication is more important in a D/s relationship than a vanilla relationship because our relationships also involve play sessions. These play sessions can range from playing with toys on the floor, to tying up a submissive and fucking them silly! The deeper and more intense a play session becomes, the more critical it is to communicate as a couple. You’ll need to have safe words in place. You will need to discuss how you want a play session to go before you both dive in headfirst. (Never forget the 4 steps to a play session: communication and consent, play, aftercare, debriefing). Follow these four steps over and over with each play session to ensure that you both are communicating openly with each other and your needs are being met.
When it comes to a D/s relationship the seasoned little just doesn’t like to waste time. So often when we meet a new partner there is this dance that we do to “woo” the potential partner. We need to feel them out and test the waters to see if they like us. We spend hours waiting around for them to reply to our message. But as you get older you become more direct. This is an advantage that a seasoned Little brings to the table. Dominants will appreciate that a seasoned Little will likely tell them early on if they are interested or not. They don’t want a bunch of drama. Instead, they are interested in a dominant who isn’t afraid of commitment. They lay all of their cards out on the table and see if the dominant can rise to the challenge. This keeps things cleaner, simpler, and calmer.
IV. The Seasoned Little Loves Who They Love:
As we age, we all get wrinkles on our face. Your balls or breasts will sag a bit. You might feel your muscles grow sore, and you may even groan as you get in and out of bed. It’s just a part of life. The seasoned Little will understand this. They can regress into a head space that feels Little and vibrant all while understanding that their dominant is who he/she is. We love to love without judgment on a dominant’s looks. We aren’t looking for a dominant who has a six pack. We don’t care if our dominant has the largest penis or if our mommy’s breasts are the softest. We don’t care if our dominant has a ton of money, or if they are “super knowledgeable” as a daddy/mommy dom.
Instead, the seasoned Little looks to see if the dominant is kind. Do they have their personal life together? Is the dominant understanding and patient? Are they emotionally stable to love us in return? Will the dominant protect our heart and guard it above all else? Is the dominant able to nurture our needs while being open about their own, so that we can fulfill every fantasy and desire that they have? The seasoned Little asks these questions because we know that those are the “important things” in a D/s relationship. Those qualities will ensure a strong foundation for a couple to thrive and grow together.
V. The Seasoned Little is Naturally Giving:
I always encourage other Littles to remember to have a servant’s heart. Think about others before yourself. As you get older, it will feel better to give unto others than to receive something for yourself. Of course self-care is vital and important. But in a true healthy relationship, you don’t need to worry about your own needs because your dominant is already taking care of that. All you need to focus on is caring for your Daddy or Mommy and taking care of their needs. The seasoned Little understands this completely, because they’ve likely had past relationships.
When I was younger, I admit that I wasn’t of a giving mindset. I wanted to be that way, but deep down I still longed for recognition. I wanted attention from people and I secretly desired for the “spotlight” to be on me. Now that I’m in my 30’s, I’ve learned how good it feels to make others happy. I write these articles and publish books, because I love furthering the knowledge of our community and lifestyle. I love leaving sweet comments for fellow littles and dominants to read on their Instagram, simply because it feels good to be kind. The world needs more love, and it can begin right now with you. ❤
I know that it’s not always easy being a seasoned Little. Sometimes we may get labeled as being “too old” or “not youthful enough”. But I’m here, as a fellow seasoned Little, to tell you that those statements couldn’t be farther from the truth! Being a Little comes from within. It’s who you are. So hold your head up, my friend. March to your own beat. Know that there is a dominant out there who will complete you perfectly, and until you find them, be proud of who you are. I know that I’m proud of you. 🙂 That’s it from me for tonight. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s topic! Have a wonderful evening and I’ll see you all back here in the morning! ❤