Day 18 of Little Introspection: Do You Believe That Cg/l is a Part of BDSM?

Hi Friends!

A very Happy Friday to you! Yay!! We made it to another weekend! I hope you all have some fun plans in store for the next couple of days. Around here I am heading off with my Daddy to Pridefest tomorrow, so stay tuned for some fun photos on my Instagram. Today I want to discuss Cg/l and if I believe that it is a part of BDSM. For as long as our community has come out of the closet, there has been a great divide among Littles if we are a part of BDSM or not. There are those that easily identify under the BDSM umbrella, and those that want nothing to do with any kind of label that implies that they are connected to BDSM.

I. Age Regression vs. Caregiver/little (a.k.a. The Great Divide):ย 

It’s important to understand that just because a person is a Little, doesn’t mean that they associate within the community the same way. There are basic terms to know and understand that will help you sort through who identifies where and how:

  • Age Regression (also known as AgeRe): is an individual who regresses in age to a younger/ Little mindset. They may or may not be in a Cg/l relationship. People who are S.F.W. Littles/ Non-sexual Littles will use the label AgeRe to indicate that while they regress, they do not wish to be associated with BDSM as a whole.
  • Cg/l: is the term used for the Caregiver/little relationship dynamic. This form of submission is a branch within the BDSM spectrum as it falls under a type of (D/s) Domination/submission relationship. Littles who identify as Cg/l may or may not view their lifestyle as a kink. But they are fully aware that they are a part of the BDSM community.
  • Ageplay: is the act of regressing to a younger mindset with another partner while engaging in some sort of sexual activity.

So now that we have those basic terms set, let’s dive in deeper to examine how Cg/l is a part of the BDSM community.

II. Know the Labels Within the Lifestyle Before You Put Yourself Out There:

When I first got into the lifestyle there was a DDLG YouTuber that I enjoyed watching named, Playpen Princess. She and her Daddy were a live-in couple who made cute videos showing their play sessions and fun outings they would go on together. But one day I noticed that Playpen Princess had disappeared! All of her videos were gone. After some internet sleuthing I stumbled across articles that revealed a massive argument that Princess and her Daddy had gotten into (over Instagram) with another person. Words were exchanged. The internet trolls emerged. And once the drama and digital dust had settled, Princess and her Daddy quit exposing their lives online. The root of their argument was that Princess and her daddy didn’t want to identify with the BDSM community. They were proud to be DDLG, but they wanted no association with the BDSM lifestyle. Those that opposed their viewpoint descended without mercy.

I’m using this example to demonstrate where “The Great Divide” resides within our community. Not everyone who is Little identifies with BDSM. They regress in age, feel Little inside, but have no desire to be in a D/s relationship. Their Little Space is usually non-sexual and playful. They may also use their Little Space as a tool for healing from a mental illness. There are a multitude of reasons why someone regresses in age, and why they feel Little inside. The reason why Princess and her Daddy got slammed so hard by people online, was that they identify as DDLG. In other words, they have a Daddy Dom/ little girl relationship, which is a form of submission…. which is a type of D/s relationship which falls under BDSM.

III. You Can Belong to the Cg/l Community Without Having (or Wanting) a Caregiver:ย 

A common misconception about our lifestyle is that every Little has a dominant. Or that every Little wants a dominant. This is false and misleading because there are many Littles who thrive as solo/single Littles. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it a million times more, you don’t need a caregiver to be a Little. You are a Little simply because it’s who you are inside. There are many Littles who thrive by creating strong social networks with other Littles. They attend conferences, munches, and other outings within the Cg/l community. They belong to organizations such as: The Little Scouts which allows them to be Little in a public setting while staying safe, by being around people within our lifestyle.

Solo Littles can join free websites to discuss relevant topics about our lifestyle online with other Littles and dominants. (Check out my Informational Cg/l & BDSM Resources Page to see tons of helpful websites! ๐Ÿ™‚ ). There are so many ways to belong to the Cg/l Community without jumping into a Cg/l relationship. If you ever have any questions about how to get started in our lifestyle, feel free to send me an email in the “Contact Penny” page (above). I’d love to hear from you!

IV. So the Answer to Today’s Question Is….ย 

I want to wrap up today’s post by answering this question directly. If a person identifies as Cg/l because they are either in a Caregiver/little relationship, or they are a Little who is seeking a dominant, or they are a solo Little who understands what a D/s dynamic is but happens to be single… then yes, I would label them under the BDSM umbrella. However, if a person describes themselves as an AgeRe or a Little but has a completely non-sexual little space, or they have no desire to explore other forms of submission, ageplay, kinks/fetishes, etc. and they are using their little space for other non-sexual purposes, then no. I would not label that person within the BDSM umbrella.

It can be confusing trying to figure out who is what type of Little and how do they each identify. When in doubt, ask! Personally, I put it out there loud and clear that I’m a Little in a full-time, live-in relationship. I am happily married to my Daddy. We have been together for 7 years now, and enjoy exploring not only the Cg/l dynamic within our marriage, but weaving in other kinks and fetishes as well when it suits us. Therefore, I do identify as being a part of both the Cg/l community and the BDSM lifestyle.

Don’t stress about labels until you’re sure of who you are. People hear the term “BDSM” and think that you’re talking about flogging and bondage. ๐Ÿ™‚ But the world of BDSM is vast and varying with tons of different ways that people live their lifestyle. We’re a kinky, colorful bunch of people that range from the “out and proud” to the closeted person whom you’d never guess was into kinks. Be who YOU are.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life that you’ve imagined.” -Henry David Thoreau

Alright that’s it for this post, my friends. I hope you all enjoyed it. Stay tuned for the next topic, have a wonderful Friday, and as always, keep on smiling! โค

Much love,

~Penny xx

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