Yesterday I discussed how some Littles view their little space as being a part of the Cg/l community while other littles do not, and why. So, if you missed the day 18 post, I encourage you to go back and give it a read. Today we’re going to take things a step further and discuss the difference between Littles who view their little space as a kink, versus others that do not. Now, let’s dive in:
I. What is a Kink and What Does It Have to Do With Cg/l?
In order to understand if a Little views their lifestyle as a kink or not, we must first be able to define what a kink is.
A kink is having a sexual taste, preference, or attraction towards something.
Now that we have the word defined, let’s pause here to reflect for a moment. Have you ever seen a social media post that talked about little space in a sexual nature? For example, maybe you saw an Instagram post of a female in revealing clothing and was captioned, “come tie me up daddy”? Or, perhaps you’ve seen a tweet that talked about wanting to “destroy” a little until they were a babbling mush on the bed? These are people who view DDLG, Cg/l, and little space as a kink.
In the Cg/l Community, the way that people view and use little space varies as widely as the individual themselves. Often times there is division between littles who solely use the image or illusion of being little as a means of seducing a partner, versus those that are deep in the lifestyle because they yearn to regress in age. Neither one is right or wrong. I always say, “you do you, boo”. ❤ But it is important to understand and respect each others differences.
II. Ageplay, Sex, and Honesty with Yourself:
I’ve told countless people over the years that when it comes to kinks, fetishes, and fantasies, be honest with yourself. The worst thing you can do is to try and suppress or “forget” about a certain desire. We are all attracted to various tastes and preferences. As long as you’re not hurting someone else, or breaking the law, indulge in what you desire. For some, this means engaging in ageplay with a partner. Ageplay is regressing in age and being treated as younger by a partner while engaging in some sort of sexual activity. In more blunt terms, if you want to be in little space and be daddy or mommy’s little cum-slut, go for it! You do you, my friend! But be honest with yourself and the things that you prefer.
As you connect with a dominant, you will want to fill out a relationship questionnaire or at the very minimum have a deep conversation about your tastes and preferences. If you’re curious to explore a certain fantasy, convey that to your dominant. They will want to know what naughty things float through your mind so that they can lead you in play sessions that are according to your tastes. Trust me, it can be deeply thrilling to explore a kink or fantasy for the first time. Now I want to touch on “taboo fantasies” for a moment while we are on the topic of sex. Sometimes you will have a sexual fantasy that may seem “extreme” or “wrong”. The mind can gravitate towards these taboo thoughts simply because the very nature of them of deemed “wrong” by society’s standards. Please don’t feel ashamed of having taboo sexual thoughts.
Many times just the thought alone of a taboo fantasy is enough to satiate our desires. We don’t even need to role play them out. But if you do decide to explore a taboo fantasy, there are many ways to do so safely with your dominant. (I’ll dive more into taboo fantasies in another post).
III. Using Little Space to Heal Mental Health Issues:
Now on the opposite end of the spectrum there are Littles who do not view their lifestyle as a kink. They regress in age for various other reasons other than for sex or masturbation. Some use their little space as a place of healing from mental illnesses. As a little who has struggled with depression and anxiety for years, this topic is near and dear to my heart. I am very open about mental health because I want other Littles out there who are experiencing similar issues to know that they’re not alone. There are a couple of things to remember if you are using your little space because you are struggling with mental health issues:
- A dominant can be a supportive, healthy member of your support network. They can lead you and push you into developing healthy habits. They can create rules that streamline your daily schedule and keep you on a path of stability and recuperation. However, a dominant should never be a substitution for seeking out a mental health professional! I know that going to therapy can be difficult and nerve-racking, but trust me when I say that it does help. Also, never be afraid of turning to your primary care physician or a neurologist to prescribe SSRI’s to control your anxiety and depression. With the right team of medical professionals, and a dominant who is committed to your overall health, you truly can bounce back and feel stronger than ever.
- Little space can be a place of healing from mental health issues but you will need to be extremely open and transparent about your feelings with your dominant (and yourself!). Speak up when you’re feeling down or are feeling like you’re about to have a panic attack. There are many things you can do to reduce these symptoms but it all begins with clear communication.
As you connect as a Cg/l couple, there will be many questions that you’ll want to ask each other in the “getting to know you” process. It is important that the dominant asks you a ton of questions about why you want to be a Little. Reflect on what it is that makes you yearn to regress. Be prepared to explain the type of Little that you are, and what type of little space you’re seeking. If your little space is non-sexual, your dominant will need to know. Likewise, dominants, learn to “actively listen” to your submissive so that you can ask appropriate questions that will help you lead them in the future. This is especially important if mental health issues will play a role in your relationship.
IV. The Bottom Line Is….
So, is being a Little a kink? Well, it depends upon your point of view. Personally, I dance a beautiful mix of keeping my little space more of a lifestyle rather than a kink, but at times I do engage in ageplay in the privacy of my bedroom. My need to regress stems from a desire to explore the innermost parts of myself rather than a desire for sexual attention. That’s not to say that I’m not kinky, because honey, I’m quite the colorful kitten! 😉 We all have our own reasons for going into little space, and I encourage you to take time for self-reflection to discover yours.
Therefore, if you use little space and the image of being a Little as a means for sexual attention, or the idea of being a little arouses you– then yes, for you it is a kink. If you regress in age and live a little lifestyle because it satisfies another non-sexual need of yours, then no. For you, being a Little is not a kink. I hope this post clears up any confusion you might have had! That’s it from me for this post, my friends. Stay tuned for the next topic. I hope you all have a wonderful Saturday, and as always, keep on smiling! 🙂