A very Happy Tuesday to you! It’s almost hump day, but not quite there yet. Tuesdays always feel weird to me, but I digress. Today we are discussing bratting, which is a topic that I’ve touched on in previous posts. I have a strong stance on bratting, likely because I’m a “seasoned” or older Little approaching 35 years old this year. As such, my viewpoints come from a place of life experience and being in a strong, stable marriage of 7 years. Now, let’s dive in.
I. What is Bratting, and Where Do We See It in the Cg/l Community?
For those new to the term “bratting”, this is a type of behavior that a Little will do to act out for attention. Much like a young child throwing a temper tantrum, a Little will intentionally act out to seek attention from their dominant. They will act like a “brat” to get a rise out of the dominant. There are many images that float around on social media that praise bratting, or that offer the perspective that being a “brat” is a type of Little. This is where I have to disagree strongly.
Bratting is a type of behavior. It does not (and should not) define a Little exclusively. I don’t believe that any little is representative of a brat. There are littles who identify as: babygirls, kittens, angels, prince/princesses, etc. But to identify as a “brat” seems counterproductive to what being a Little truly is, and I’ll explain why in just a moment. Bratting is a negative behavior that should be corrected promptly by the dominant to stop the little from acting that way in the future. It isn’t something to be praised. It’s a type of behavior that should be avoided if possible. Do we all slip up in the head space and act out? Of course, I’m guilty of it too. However, it is never an action that should be a “go to” for any little to do, to seek attention in their relationship.
II. Bratting is Counterproductive to Being a Submissive:
In this Little Introspection series, I have discussed how some littles view their lifestyle as a kink, while others do not. I have also touched upon whether or not the Cg/l lifestyle is a part of BDSM, or not, so if you missed these posts I encourage you to go back and give them a read. Age regression itself is not a form of submission. Being in a Cg/l relationship is a form of submission. Therefore, if you’re a Little whose intentions are to someday have a dominant, then I highly encourage you to steer clear of bratting against your caregiver.
Being a submissive in any type of D/s relationship is a form of power exchange. The submissive, while capable of handling a normal, functioning adult lifestyle, voluntarily chooses to surrender power to a dominant to help lead, guide, and protect them in the relationship. In a Cg/l relationship, this same dynamic takes on the form of a caregiver to little, but the power exchange remains the same. The submissive may be a little girl or a little boy, but they are still surrendering power. True submission is an act of deep love, trust, obedience, and loyalty. There is absolute honesty and transparency in a D/s relationship, because the very nature of it depends upon clear communication between the dominant and submissive.
A dominant cannot lead their submissive if they are acting out negatively for attention rather than speaking out about their feelings. Can a Little brat their dominant every once in a while to be playful? Of course. But should a Little brat the dominant as a way to gain attention? Absolutely not.
III. Respect is at the Heart of Every Submissive:
One of the reasons that I’m passionate against bratting is because I strongly believe in showing your dominant respect. We hear the word respect all the time, but often fail to understand its full meaning. To respect your dominant, means to show “high regard” for their feelings, actions, and decisions. It means placing trust in letting them lead you in your everyday life. You have to surrender power to them and know that they have your best intentions at heart. This isn’t always easy to do. If it was, everyone would be a submissive. 🙂 But we do it because we truly love our dom.
To be a submissive means to respect our dominant above all else. We yearn to make them happy. We get a thrill in seeing them praise us for a job well done. A stroke of our hair as they mutter the words, “good girl” or “thank you for your service” elicits a tingle down our spine. We have a servant’s heart because it feels good to please others. When you look at submission that way, bratting just seems immature.
IV. A Dominant Has Patience, But They Aren’t Superman:
I always joke with my Daddy that I would make a horrible dominant, and it’s true. I love to serve and give to others, but I do not have the patience to deal with a submissive (much less taking on a little). Being a dominant is no easy feat. They have to control their own life and actions, all while guiding and leading our life too. When you think about it, that’s a lot of responsibility! The dominant must be wise, patient, and understanding to our needs and feelings. They have to create rules that will help support our goals and keep us on track. They also need to be willing to discipline us when we mess up, or act out. This isn’t easy to do, but the real dominant understands the “bigger picture” of using discipline as a tool to correct behavior rather than to make us feel bad.
I’ve always been a “good girl”. While I had a couple years in my life where I tried to be slightly rebellious, I’ve always strived to follow the rules. I don’t break the law. I don’t do drugs or even drink alcohol. I don’t smoke, and I’m a scaredy-cat at getting a tattoo. 🙂 That said, it’s in my nature to try and follow my Daddy’s rules. A dominant already has stress and responsibility, you don’t want to be the reason that adds to their already full plate. Don’t act out and “test” their limits and patience. That just isn’t fair. Your dominant is with you because they want to love and help you become the best person that you can be. Show them the same respect and love by following their rules.
The moral of today’s post my friends is: when in doubt, don’t act out! Talk to your daddy or mommy about how you’re feeling. Be open and honest with everything that’s on your mind. Work together to find a resolution or compromise that works for you both, and know that by doing so, you will get all of the love and attention you’re seeking.
That’s it from me for this post, my friends. I hope you all have a wonderful day! Stay tuned for the next topic, and as always, keep on smiling! 🙂
** Update: **
I wanted to post an update to today’s topic. I knew going into this writing that the topic of “bratting” was a controversial one, but I had no idea how polarizing the issue was and how negative one responder could be on social media. I’m a firm believer of active listening and trying to understand an opposing view. Such was the case when I listened to this person, with an opposite viewpoint, share their feelings with me. Kink shaming is a serious accusation that I don’t take lightly.
I absolutely do not, and will not, stand for being accused of kink-shaming. That said, this is my final thoughts on the issue of bratting. If you and your caregiver are happy in a relationship and it involves bratting, then do you. Be happy. Live and let live. Not I, nor anyone else, should tell you how to be a Little. I have my reasons for not bratting (as stated above), but there are people out there who have their reasons for bratting and that’s fine too.
In this life, I choose to be kind. When I have a difference with someone I don’t choose to tear them down. I speak my opinion, respectfully, and then I let it go. If this makes me old, fine. I prefer to think of it as an indicator of maturity and wisdom, since I don’t feel old at all 😉 To the person out there who got so offended by my post, I wish you nothing but peace. I hope you learn that there is room in the Cg/l Community for all viewpoints (including yours and mine). I wish for you a long, beautiful, healthy Cg/l relationship that is fulfilling in the way that best completes your soul. All littles matter, and that is where I stand on this issue.
And now, let’s all move on to the next topic. Be well, everyone ❤