Day 23 of Little Introspection: Let’s Talk About Humiliation!

Hi Friends!

Humiliation and DDLG or Cg/l aren’t usually paired together. But given that Cg/l is a branch within the BDSM spectrum, I think it’s worth talking over. Before my Ex-Dom opened my eyes to the world of BDSM, the word humiliation was completely foreign to me. “A person wants to be humiliated?!” I wondered, “But why??”. I had this notion that to be humiliated, means to be completely and utterly defeated, or to be mentally destroyed. And perhaps that’s so in the vanilla world, but in the world of BDSM the word humiliation takes on a whole new meaning. So let’s dive in:

I. What is humiliation? 

Erotic humiliation is consensual psychological humiliation performed in order to produce erotic excitement or sexual arousal. This can be for either the person(s) being humiliated and demeaned or the person(s) humiliating, or both. It is sometimes performed before spectators, including pornography and webcam viewers. It may be part of BDSM and other sexual roleplay, or accompanied by the sexual stimulation of the genitals (or other erotic region) of one or both parties in the activity.

Please note that anyone practicing or incorporating humiliation should be experienced enough to ask for consent with the sub first before anything happens. NEVER spring an act of humiliation on your submissive! Remember friends, every act of play should be: safe, sane, and consensual. 🙂

II. Why would anyone want to be humiliated? 

In short, because to those who find it arousing… it’s very hot. I’ll share a personal story with you. Before I met my ex-dom, the word “slut” and me had never been used in the same sentence. It just didn’t happen. Then I met my ex-dom one night and shortly thereafter we had our first long distance play session. “I want you to write the word cum slut on your pussy for me” he said to me. “W-what?” I stammered and blushed hard. (I always blush lol). He repeated his command more firmly. “In permanent marker” he tacked on at the last second. Suddenly I found myself in a thrilling position. I was following my dominant’s commands, writing on my body this word that felt filthy and yet…. hot all at the same time! I thought that he was done with me, but I was so, so wrong.

He had me put on one of my favorite sundresses and head outside “sans panties”. “Walk to the park” he said into my phone and off I went. As I entered the park my heart began to beat fast. He knew that it was a weekend and likely there would be people around. He had he find a tree to lean against, lift my dress, and take a photo of “proof” that the task was complete. Oh how scared I was at being caught! My mind raced 100 miles per hour, and yet, there was this tiny, naughty rebellious part of me that felt sexy and daring! That is the arousal of humiliation. It pulls you way outside of your comfort zone, but never within harm’s way. When it’s all said and done, moments like that are memories to cherish, and smirk, when you reflect upon them.

III. What are some forms of humiliation? 

One of the best articles out there to read about forms of humiliation is, “70 BDSM Humiliation and Degradation Ideas” (and I highly recommend that you head over there to check them out!). There is a difference between humiliating a sub and degrading them. To humiliate your sub means to embarrass them. To degrade them means to make them feel devalued by imposing restrictions. Both forms are used to:

  • Teach a submissive during slave training
  • Punish or correct certain negative behaviors
  • Used during play to heighten anxiety or anticipation for the submissive

Here are a few examples of humiliation and degradation via the Lovense article:

  1. Force a male sub to wear slutty women’s lingerie (force cross-dressing).

 

  1. If it’s a woman, make her go out with no underwear beneath her clothing.

 

  1. Make them go to the grocery store and buy the largest cucumber or eggplant they can find and a bottle of lube.

 

  1. Make them wear a chastity belt under the clothes when they go to work.

 

  1. Make them wear a smartphone-controlled sex toy (like a butt plug, love egg, or prostate massager) when they go out and set it off whenever you wish.

 

  1. Tie them up outside and leave them there for a designated period of time.

 

  1. Make him tan while wearing a bikini.

 

  1. Make them wear embarrassing outfits when they go out – take it an extra step and make them go to a Wal-Mart (the store is infamous for customers with strange clothing – their photo will probably end up on some social media site).

 

  1. If it’s a man, make him wear panties and a bra under their clothes.

 

  1. Make them perform rimming (on their Dom or even another person).

 

  1. Have them shave off all their body hair, eyebrows too

 

  1. Make him wear feminine deodorant or perfume.

 

  1. Make him sit down to pee.

 

  1. Make them write something on social media.

 

  1. Have them write their own blog, with lots of details about their humiliations.

 

  1. Make them admit something embarrassing, then share the news with others.

 

  1. Make them sing a difficult song and point out every flaw.

 

  1. Share them sexually with other kinksters.

 

  1. Make them go to “strangers” and admit a mistake or something embarrassing.

 

  1. Make them wear an O-ring gag and have them talk … a lot (makes them DROOL all over the place).

So as you can see, the spectrum of ways to humiliate and degrade a submissive is vast and wide. Though it appears that the dominant has all of the power when humiliation comes into play, both parties have consented to the act long before they ever took off their clothes 😉 To anyone interested in humiliation or being degraded, talk to your dom and give it a shot! ❤ It’s not a scary as you think, when you’re with someone who cares and knows what they’re doing. I hope you all have a wonderful night. Stay tuned for the next topic, and as always, keep on smiling! 🙂

Much love,

~Penny xx

 

3 comments

  1. Interesting post. Personally, I’ve never been one for degradation. Also, I think there is a fine line between humiliation and degradation. It can be damaging in some respects. But, then again, I don’t see your example of walking pantiless in a park and taking a photo as humiliating. I see that as an arousing bit of exhibitionism. But, I guess it is all in how it is taken.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hehe well said! 😉 One thing that I love to do whenever I’m getting to know a play partner is to sit down and fill out a checklist of kinks and fetishes. It’s so crucial for this very reason, as you stated. Some view degradation as traumatic, while others find it arousing. I err more on the side of caution when it comes to humiliation and degradation. I’m much more inclined to do a humiliating task in private versus public. But if I’m degraded and made to feel devalued, I’d probably cry lol. That’s why, at least for me, it’s a soft limit. Great comment, AC! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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