Throughout this “Well Seasoned” series, I have tried to highlight some advantages and viewpoints of being with a dominant or submissive who is 30+. I hope you all have enjoyed this series. Today I want to focus on sex, as Ageplay is a part of the Cg/l community. For those new to the term, ageplay refers to one partner regressing into the little head space while engaging in a sexual act. I like to think of it as being Little in the bedroom 🙂 Alright, now that we have everything defined, let’s dive in.
** Disclaimer: These opinions are solely my own. I’m in no way an expert, so please use your judgment as to what feels right for you. **
I. Age is Just a Number When it Comes to the Bedroom:
There have only been a two times in my life where I’ve been called “old” by someone who was angry at me. Both times I have felt taken aback. As an HSP (highly sensitive person) I hate it when I know someone is upset with me. I tend to cry easily, and I try to go out of my way to try and make others happy. However, during those two times, while I was hurt by being called old (I’m only 34!), I had to learn to grow a “thick skin”. I don’t feel old. I certainly don’t act old, (especially as a Little). And my sex life doesn’t reflect that of someone who is “old”.
When it comes to sex with a “seasoned” person, it comes down to interests, kinks, fantasies, and the willingness to dive in. I think it is less about age, and more about libido. I’ve met people whose libido is higher and they need someone to match their level and desire for intimacy, while other couples I know are happy with sex once a week. Age was never a factor. You can 45 or 55 and still swinging from the ceiling as you’re tied up in ropes and being taken. 🙂
II. The Seasoned Partner Knows What They Like in the Bedroom:
When I was in high school (in the South), our sex education teacher told us that every time we slept with someone we “gave a piece of ourselves away that would never come back”. I remember being so terrified of having multiple sexual partners. Now, at 34 years old I can chuckle looking back at that moment. A seasoned partner knows what they want because they have (likely) had experiences with other people. They have kissed and made love to people that clicked, and fallen out of sorts with others. They have unearthed what things make their body tick in bed, while learning how to please a partner.
They can communicate what their kinks and fantasies are. They know what they’re looking for in an ideal dominant or an ideal submissive. They have usually tried multiple sex positions and isn’t afraid to express the kinkier parts of themselves, because they are in touch with what they’re into. It’s refreshing and comforting to be with someone who knows what they like and don’t like.
III. Time is Precious to the Seasoned Partner:
There’s something strange and mysterious in the aging process. I’ve spoken to many older adults who have disclosed to me that they are still “active between the sheets” well into their 60’s and 70’s. The only difference being that the sex is more meaningful and enriching because they understand that they don’t have all the time in the world. When you’re with a seasoned partner they are grateful to be able to sexually connect with their partner, especially because they understand the adage, “life is short”. Time teaches us humility and gratitude for everyone that comes into our life. They all leave a lasting impression, especially those that see the innermost parts of ourselves.
IV. A Seasoned Dominant Can Lead in the Bedroom:
I’ve always said that confidence is sexy and the seasoned dominant exudes that and more. They understand the four steps to a healthy play session and behave accordingly:
- communication and consent
They aren’t afraid to sit down with their submissive to figure out what type of play sessions they should guide their Little in. They might relish in ageplay, and come up with their own ideas of how to incorporate fun foreplay into a play session with their Little. They know how to use their voice to be gentle yet commanding, in such a way that it elicits a reaction from their sub. They aren’t afraid to make spankings go from punishment to sexual pleasure in the bedroom. Yes, a seasoned dominant can be sexy, fun, vibrant, and adventurous. Trust me on this one. 😉
V. The Bottom Line:
When it comes to your Cg/l relationship, do what feels good for you. If you’re interested in a partner who is older then you are, never let age alone stop you from being with someone. Sex knows no age, race, religion, etc. Love is love is love! Enjoy being your wild, free-spirited, sexual, adventurous self! Express yourself in a way that feels authentic and comfortable for you. Stay safe, my friends, and I’ll see you on the next post.