It’s the night of Day 2 and I’m literally sitting here with a cooling towel on my neck in front of a fan. My feet throb, but I feel like a BEAST! I jogged 7.19 miles today! That’s the farthest I’ve ever jogged, and gosh do I feel proud of myself! Sometimes, it’s difficult being the only one in the house to consistently wake up, eat right, and exercise like a boss. Daddy skipped the workout because he felt tired from work. And kiddo wasn’t interested in doing it with me. So, it’s just me.
But if I’m being honest, I like working out alone. It’s nice to go inside my head and think as I jog. I crank on techno music, and just get lost in the beat. My world slows down, and my muscles adapt. I literally drip head to toe with sweat, but deep inside I begin to dream about running marathons. I dream about triathlons, and going hiking! I feel so motivated. 🙂 Now, without further delay, let’s dive into tonight’s topic:
I. The Mental Side:
I find myself jogging a race with no finish. A never-ending marathon of sorts. I’m beginning to live a new, healthy life. But one that must weave the old me, and the new one, together. I love a good cup of tea. It soothes my soul. My first reaction when I’ve had a hard day, or I’m speaking to someone who has, is “let me put on the kettle”. The words alone make me grin. While I’m eager to lose this weight and look like a sexy hourglass, I read words not long ago that really resonated with me. This person said, “If my body was lean muscle mass, but I had doubled my weight, then I would be a happy 280 pounder”. Happiness. I think that’s the more important goal of this journey. Happiness, confidence, health, an active lifestyle, friendships, and precious moments. Those are the milestones that I want to tackle and achieve along the way.
That said, I want to reflect upon the concept of knowing people online and calling them friends. We all hear about people getting ghosted. Others get cat-fished. In the blink of an eye, people get hurt by others online and they begin to grow jaded with humanity. I get it. I’ve been there. But I’d like to believe that there are more good people than bad. I’d like to believe that the few friendships I’m cultivating ever so slowly, are authentic, genuine, and real. I’m putting myself out there, gushing with total transparency in the fight to dispel the myth that you can’t really know someone online. Bollocks, I say! I know these people. I can feel their intentions and their emotions through digital pen and paper. And for me, at least for now, that’s enough. 😊
Now, let’s look at today’s prompt: What are my most important values and how am I living in ways that are not aligned with my values?
Reflecting upon what you’re doing, by not living in alignment with your values is difficult. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a tender-hearted person. I have a natural desire to see those around me happy. This can range from family and friends, to complete strangers. While I don’t struggle empathizing with strong negative emotion, more so, I proactively look for a way to lift people up. It’s just what I do. Along the way I learned how good it feels to love others.
As I got older, I began to think of my capacity to love, as a water well. I met people whose well was significantly smaller, and their pool more dried up than mine. And I met others who could match me easily in the depth and ability to love. Rolling into my 30’s I began to wonder why I yearn to care for those around me. Why do I seem to have an innate need to spread love and kindness? Certainly, it’s not a bad thing, but it does catch people off guard. People become puzzled when someone is kind and loving, simply because they care.
In many ways, I suppose I hold myself back from fully spreading the love I have to give. Thoughts float through my head when having a conversation and I bite my tongue, fearful that my friend will retreat. Deep emotions swirl in my heart, begging for me to have a moment of active listening and expression, but I hold them back because my husband has had a long day at work. I hold it in. I lift my chin, and I move on. The ability to self-soothe and cope, certainly is an important one. But if we have the maturity to have a calm, raw, honest conversation about what is most important, then shouldn’t we do so?
Pushing forward in this journey of self-reflection, I have to be more honest with myself. I would love to have more closer connections with people. I want to know my friends and truly be there for them. I want them to feel loved by me. I believe in the ability to love people in different ways. I love my husband as my soul mate and very best friend. I love my daughter, who is the center of my world. I love my friends who live across the globe. And I love all of you, my dear friends and readers.
There are two values which I tell every single person that I form a close bond with: Always be honest with me, and always have my back as I will have yours. Honesty and loyalty. To me, it’s plain and simple, but still I struggle to make sure my own life is in complete alignment moving forward. So today I am reminding myself that every interaction I make, every action that I do, I want it to come from a place of total authenticity. I want my reflections to resonate who I am and what I stand for. ❤
Here are a few more values that are also important, and that I look for when getting to know people:
- Compassionate and Kind
- Giving to Others
- Chill; Not Dramatic
- Good Sense of Humor; The Ability to Banter and Laugh
- Emotionally Open and Available
For the longest time I felt jaded by the many people that came in and out of my life. Then I shifted into a mindset where I tried to make myself believe that, “if people come and go from my life, then that’s the way it should be”. But deep down, I was never satisfied. I believe in being friends forever. I believe that a healthy life is one where your connections are strong, fulfilling, and enriching. If someone isn’t bringing some sort of value, happiness, or purpose to your life, then why are they in it?
Now, let’s shift gears and take a look at my nutrition today.
Target: 1,700 kcals.
Today I Consumed: 1,510 kcals
Breakfast: 1 Big Sur Breakfast Burrito, 290 calories
Lunch: Amy’s Light & Lean Meatless Swedish Meatballs, 260 calories
Tea Time: 1 cup of tea with cream and sugar, 150 calories + 1 ice cream cup, 150 calories
Dinner: Roasted Cauliflower Mac & Cheese, 260 and 8 Chicken Nuggets, 400 calories
Alright, that’s it from me for this post, my friends! Stay tuned for the next Cg/l topic in the morning. Have a wonderful night, and I’ll see you all back here in the morning!