I heard about The TMI Tuesday Blog from a friend and I couldn’t resist joining in. Here is this week’s question prompt:
Would you rather be caught cheating or catch your spouse cheating? Explain.
Oy! What a question! (LOL) Alright, well, I’m going to choose catching my spouse cheating, and here’s why. My husband and I have a VERY open, and transparent relationship. We say that we are best friends first, and then husband and wife. That said, if I honestly caught him cheating, I think the first words out of my mouth would be: “Dude! You know you could have asked for a hall pass or something!”. Cheating is such an interesting concept, especially because I’ve experienced it in my past. Usually when someone “cheats” on their partner, it’s because they have long been miserable in the relationship. Communication has broken down, and so they feel this need to hide the fact that they want to experience things with another person.
In my marriage we practice compassionate communication. (Note: It took us 7 years to get to this point. So please don’t think we’re like Gandhi or something, ROFL). If there is an issue, we use the phrase, “I need you to hold space for me”, to indicate that the other person needs to actively listen and remain quiet so that the partner with the issue can vent openly. Then, we go back and forth, really delving into what the root feelings are, and how we can navigate them in a healthy way.
So if I caught my husband cheating, I think I would more or less scratch my head at the fact that he didn’t come and talk to me. I wouldn’t be angry, so much as I would want to support him in his desire to connect with this other person emotionally and/or sexually. 🙂 Love is love…. and life is too short not to be open, respectful, understanding, and supportive of the people closest to you in your life. I hope you all enjoyed my response! If you have a blog and are interested, please hop over to The TMI Tuesday Blog and jump on the bandwagon too!