Parenthood & BDSM: What to Do When Your Child Asks… [Part 2 of 10]

** Disclaimer: This post is merely my opinion as both a Little and a parent. In no way am I advising how you should or should not raise your child/ren. Please use your own judgment to make informed decisions about what’s best for you. Also, if you missed reading part 1 of this series, click here to go back and have a look! ** 

Hi Friends!

Today I went out and about running errands as I usually do on a Sunday. Snaking in between people out shopping, I held my daughter’s hand in mine. She’s 11 now, but still loves the feeling of knowing her Mama is right there. I am relishing it while she still wants me close. 😉 Suddenly, out of no where she smiled up at me and said, “Mama, I love it that you’re weird”. I paused and raised my eyebrows at her. In our house, uniqueness is celebrated. We make space for being “weird”, creative, and wild at heart. It is this philosophy that I used to answer the very question that I knew would come one day: “Mama, why aren’t you like other moms?”.

I. Levels of Appropriateness: 

I’m going to keep things very real with you in this post. When it comes to my child, I am highly protective over her. I’m one of those parents that doesn’t allow my daughter to peruse the internet freely. I censor the movies she watches, and we don’t have cable TV in the house. Instead, I push books into her hands. But, I also make space for her mind to be curious. I encourage her to ask questions, and then give her answers based upon the level of appropriateness that I feel is correct. Such was the case when she was in kindergarten. At the public school she was enrolled at, there was no doubt that I was different from the other mothers. They all wore the same alth-lesiure outfits, chunky sunglasses, and marched like they had just come from a Pilates class. Rows upon rows of SUV’s and BMW’s lined the drop off area. I just had to roll my eyes. Among the parents, there I was in normal clothes, with my graphic tees, and pink adidas shoes.

“Mama… why are you different?” she asked me one day. I smiled down at her.

“What do you mean?” I asked, encouraging her to open up more. She looked around at the other parents. “You don’t look like them” she said, making an innocent observation. I knelt down beside her and spoke softly. “You’re right” I whispered, “It’s because I have a very special secret”. Her tiny, sea blue eyes widened as she stared into mine. “What is it?” she whispered back. I grinned feeling like we were detectives about to uncover a giant mystery.

II. Explaining the Concept of an “Inner Child” to Your Own Child: 

“I can see magic” I winked at her. She stood there stunned for a moment as I guided her towards our car to leave. Walking silently she waited until I buckled her in before blurting out, “How?? Are you a witch?”. I shook my head and smiled in the rear view mirror at her. “Do you remember the movie, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?” I asked her. She was quiet for a moment so I began to sing, “Pure Imagination” to her. She gasped and nearly squealed singing along with me as the memory of the movie came flooding back to her mind.

In the movie Grandpa Joe encouraged his grandson, Charlie, to open candy bars to try and find that golden ticket. He wasn’t dismayed at their lack of money, or that the odds being against them. He wasn’t fazed by the frenzy of people doing all kinds of crazy things to try and “hack” the system and get a ticket. He just had faith, trust, and a little bit of hope. Throughout the movie, there was this wonderful elderly man with the heart of a child who could see the magic in every moment. He allowed himself to feel young again as they entered a world of pure imagination in the factory. For Grandpa Joe, (as it is for all of us adult Littles), it’s all about the mindset.

“And just like him… I can see the magic too” I said to my daughter. “Is that why you love rainbows?” she asked. I nodded. “And unicorns? And glitter? And Totoro? And Ponyo?” she went on and on. “And why I know every Disney song, ever!” I teased and she giggled. For now, that answer was enough. And perhaps that is how it always would be. I have an “inner child” and an active imagination. Having the capacity to feel young inside allows me to be fun, playful, and share my joy with the world. That is how I explained the concept of “little me” to my child.

III. Keep the Concept of Kink and Sex OUT of the Discussion: 

This is probably the most important part of this post, so lend me your ears my fellow Littles and dominants. Sex should never, ever be a part of the discussion when you’re explaining Cg/l to your child. Talking about such things with your bairn would be highly inappropriate. Your child doesn’t need to know what arouses you. They don’t need to know that some people in this lifestyle take part in age-play. And I dare say that, unless they are of legal age, they really don’t need to understand the concept of age regression. It just isn’t necessary.

There are already too many vanilla people that view our community as “taboo”, “sinful” and wrong, that we don’t need to do anything to portray us in a negative light. Let children be children. Let sex education be proper sex education. Let BDSM and the deep explanations of domination and submission remain knowledge to legal adults only.

Instead, focus on the magic of little space. Share your joy of all things colorful with your child. Demonstrate how you can use your imagination in beautiful and creative ways. Share your love of plushies, toys, and Disney movies with them while they’re young. Savor the precious moments together, and leave it at that. Rejoice in your role as a parent, adult, and your child’s mentor. It’s a gift from above that you’ll have for the rest of your life. ❤

That’s it from me for this post, my friends. I hope you found this explanation helpful. If you enjoyed it, give that like button a smash and stay tuned for the next installment of “Peaches & Pineapples”. Have a wonderful rest of the night, and I will see you all back here tomorrow morning! 🙂

Much love,

~Kitten xx

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