Tonight I thought I would slow things down and give you a few updates about my health, and how I’m feeling lately. 🙂 Before we begin, I want to welcome all the new faces here to my blog. Hi! I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you for subscribing, and a huge hug to everyone who has sent me comments, messages, and tons of love and support. You all really are the best! 🙂 For those new to my blog, I have been on a self care journey for a bit now. For the past decade I have been living with anxiety. 2018 knocked me around pretty hard. But when I’m backed into a corner, I usually lift my fists and come out swinging, and I did just that with my mental health. I began by putting a great team of medical professionals around me. Next, I finally got that MRI to rule out anything scary that might be the cause of the many headaches I was having. Thankfully, at the end of the day, it was just anxiety wrecking havoc on my nervous system. It was time for a reboot.
So, I stepped back, took a breath, and began again. More recently I began posting on my Instagram account. Except this time, I’m using my face. I’m not promoting my blog posts. I’m just being me. And you know what? People love it! I’ve always been so insecure about my weight. Or my hair. Or my butt. But each part of me has a story. And now, I’m learning to be kinder to myself. Which leads me to my first update:
I. My New Mantra:
Recently I was told my someone that I lacked confidence, and it really messed with my head. After battling my anxiety, getting on medication that helps, doing meditation regularly, and eating a healthy diet…. I was pissed when this person said I lack confidence. “Come on!” I wanted to scream, “what do you expect from me?!”. And then it hit me. This person had an unrealistic perception of me. But that didn’t need to define how I viewed myself. I know that I’m confident! Do I have insecurities? Of course. But, will I let one person’s opinion of me crush me? Hell no! 🙂
So I adopted a new mantra that I say aloud to myself each and every day: I can only control myself and what I do. Let go of everything else.
I can’t make people like me. I can’t force people to feel things, or do things. I can’t will them to see my opinion on things. The only thing that I can control is me. And when you look at it that way, suddenly everything becomes much easier! 🙂
II. These Hips Don’t Lie:
The second update is about embracing my body. Now this one is difficult for me, so bear with me as I pour my heart out here. I have battled my weight all of my life. It’s something that I will continue to battle for the rest of my life. That said, my weight does not define who I am as a person. So, instead of wishing for what I looked like, I’m embracing where I am today. Just the other day I was shopping at Target. There I stood in the dressing room with an armful of clothing to try on. Each piece fit, but this time I was particular about what I wanted to buy. I only brought home a few new pieces of clothing, but each one made me feel sexy…. put together…. and proud of myself. Yes, I’m curvy. But this curvy Little can look fly! 😉
As I begin to grow my hair back out again, (I shaved it off after having migraines for months on end in 2018), I feel like a butterfly slowly being reborn. Like the beginnings of spring, my curls are just starting to show. The blonde in my hair is coming to full bloom, and I smile every time I see it. I purchased some new make up and painted my nails the other day, just so that I can smile when I look at my hands. Self love is deeply important. No matter what size you are– love yourself. Because you truly are so, so worth it!
(Follow me on Instagram @daddyandpennyberry to see daily pictures and updates of my blossoming look! ❤ )
III. Speaking With Intention:
The last update that I wanted to share with you is all about my mental health. I have the habit of babbling when I get nervous. I ramble, saying whatever pops into my head, because my nerves are frazzled and I just want someone to hug me tight. But lately, I have been trying to take a deep, calming breath before I speak. I listen, and allow myself to be quiet. I know it’s working because people have been asking me, “Are you okay? You’re so quiet!”. It makes me smile. “Yes” I reply, “I’m just listening”. What I’ve found is that when you listen twice as much as you speak, you learn so much. So be curious! Ask questions. Dive into someone. And then listen. Really probe them with all the deep, heartfelt questions that are burning in your mind…. and then be silent. You’ll be amazed at how much you can learn about a person. I’m finding that when I step back and listen, I end up with a whole new set of questions! 🙂 It’s pretty great.
Lastly, I wanted to take a moment to touch on family stress. If you’ve been hanging around my blog for a while, you have probably gathered that I don’t come from a “normal family”. In fact, my family is the definition of dysfunctional. I don’t have blood relatives in my life to call “family”. Instead, I have relatives who pop up every now and then and try to cause waves upon waves of stress. But since incorporating mindfulness and speaking with intention, the level of stress that I’ve felt has waned dramatically. Suddenly, I don’t feel pressured to reply to snarky text messages. I don’t feel the need to listen to phone calls of the daily gossip. I like my life quiet, simple, sure, and calm. These are the things I’ve been prioritizing and my mental health has been doing great every since I’ve changed my tune. 🙂
IV. The Bottom Line:
So yes, thank you again to everyone who has been cheering me on along the way. Your love means the world to me. And I can only hope that I’m bringing each of you some measure of joy here on the blog. Feel free to reach out to me via email, Instagram, or Twitter, and say hello! You all are always welcome. 🙂 Life isn’t always easy. But it’s how we take each step in the climb upwards that counts. Sending you all much love today, and everyday. Have a wonderful night and keep on smiling! 🙂