Day 41 of Little Introspection: How Do You Think the Cg/l Community Can Improve?

Hi Friends!

A very Happy Thursday to you! We are almost to the end of the week, and I don’t know about you, but I am ready for it to be Friday! lol. I hope you all are doing well. Today we are discussing how the Cg/l community can improve. Have you ever wondered about the Cg/l community as a whole? There is such a wide variety of dominants and littles alike, that I feel there are ways we can strengthen and unify our global Cg/l community as one. That said, let’s dive in:

People Hands Together Unity Team Cooperation Concept

I. Widespread Education to Bridge the Gap in the Community: 

When we use the term, “Cg/l Community” it should be noted that this is a spectrum of individuals that identify within the caregiver and little community, beneath the BDSM umbrella, and form of Domination and submission dynamic (D/s). Across the world there are dominants who vary in type, personality, style, and desires under the caregiver label. How they treat their little, their method of communication, and their reason for being a dominant is as unique as each individual is. So, too, is every Little different in their wants, needs, and manner of little space. One of the largest issues I see in the community is the stark gap and difference between those who identify with Cg/l as a kink, versus those that do not. There are those that openly share photos of their body, or discuss sex on various social media platforms and forums. And there are those who specifically state that they are “SFW” or are a non-sexual little. It can be difficult bridging those two groups of people because they have little in common.

However, I propose that there should be more widespread education in the Cg/l community. Despite having such major differences to the approach of Cg/l, there are a few things that every dominant and little should have in common: there should always be consent involved in any interaction, private message, play session, etc. More education needs to be put out to help people understand the “red flags” of harmful behaviors that dominants (and some littles too!) might display. There also needs to be more education about what a sex worker is, and why people choose to enter the sex industry. I know that many times people hear the term “sex worker” and instantly think of prostitution. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth. In actual reality, sex workers have a wide variety of occupations within the industry. And I feel that if a “SFW” little could understand someone who identifies Cg/l as a kink better, there could be deeper compassion on both sides.

II. More Training Programs for Dominants and Submissives: 

I cannot tell you how many times I have come across dominants who have struggled with their little simply because they didn’t give them proper training to be their submissive. Or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, I’ve met plenty of littles who have felt lost, simply because they didn’t know where to begin as a little. Having a D/s relationship is a very serious undertaking. It takes time, patience, understanding, and a ton of communication. It’s almost like a marriage, (but kinkier and you aren’t legally bound), because the depth of communication needed to be healthy together is so great. As such, there needs to be more training programs for dominants and submissives.

I would love to see more little space workshops held on a monthly or bi-monthly basis to help submissives get more comfortable with entering the head space. It would also be a great way to make connections and meet new friends within the community who are like minded. Similarly, I would like to see more programs for dominants to receive training as caregivers. There is a wide difference between a Master and a Daddy or Mommy dominant. As such, there needs to be workshops that explain how the mindset of a caregiver differs from other forms of domination. There should also be integrated classes on how to guide a little into the mindset, and what to do if your little has issues that require special attention. (Come to think of it, I should design and teach a workshop! Would anyone be interested if I did? Comment and let me know!). 🙂

III. More Programs & Munches for SFW and Non-Sexual Littles: 

When it comes to a small fraction of littles that are unique and different, nothing compares to non-sexual littles. (This is why I’ve given them extra special attention and love on here by creating a section solely for non-sexual littles!). There are many Littles out there who regress in age for reasons other than sexual arousal. They have psychological needs that make them yearn to enter the head space. They create an environment that nurtures those needs, and often connect with a dominant who is attentive and understanding to their desire for being little without incorporating sexual interaction.

I would love to see more networking groups and munches for littles who are non-sexual, or who don’t even want to identify within the Cg/l spectrum, to help bring together this group of like-minded people. There needs to be a space for littles who age regress (AgeRe) that is separate and apart from those who incorporate age play. While I believe in one unifying community, I also think there is value in having smaller circles so that each little can feel a part of the community in their own special way.

IV. More Resources for Underage Prospective Cg/l Members: 

The last point that I’d like to touch on is creating more resources for underage prospective members of the community. Now, as always, I have to state that I do not support minors in kink. Please obey the laws, my friend. They are in place for a reason. That said, I am also sympathetic towards adolescents who are sexually curious about our lifestyle. And, I get it. Teens see dominants as ultra masculine, controlling individuals who take these willing submissives and have sex with them. At least that is what popular media projects (including pornography). But the truth is that a D/s relationship is highly complex. When the relationship is healthy, it is actually the submissive who holds the true power in the dynamic. The dominant proves their capability to lead, guide, nurture, and love their submissive so much that it makes the sub yearn to obey, follow, and surrender their power. This is the core of every balanced D/s dynamic.

Underage members just don’t have the life experience and maturity to be aware of this kind of mentality. But you know what? That’s okay! They don’t have to know it all just yet. So often, we (meaning the greater BDSM community) are quick to slam the door on any minor curious about our lifestyle. I get it. It’s against the law for a minor to be involved in kink. But if we’re being completely honest here, whether we slam the proverbial door and block them or not, they will still have thoughts, fantasies, and curiosities about BDSM. Why? Because their hormones are in overdrive! They are at an age where they are weighing the “risk vs. reward” in every action they take. And adolescents can be quite the risk takers! So, instead of shutting out minors, I believe we should have sound, informational resources to provide them with an educated viewpoint on what domination and submission is all about. I believe in the power of educating instead of prohibiting. Let minors remain minors. Stress the importance of waiting to engage in sexual activity until they are of legal age. Drill it into their heads to obey the law. But also provide safe resources that will help them make informed decisions, if they want to continue to learn about this path when they are over 18. That’s just my humble opinion.

Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know! Have a wonderful Thursday, stay safe, and I will see you all back here tonight!

Much love,

~Kitten xx

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