Day 44 of Little Introspection: Questions to Ask Your Potential Dominant!

Hi Friends!

Originally I was going to expand upon an old post I wrote about, “10 Qualities That a Dominant Must Have”. If you missed this post, you might want to go back and give it a read. In that post I discuss traits and qualities that dominants should have so that they can be effective leaders and caregivers. Today I want to examine dominants a bit further by bringing you a list of important questions to ask any dominant that you want to have a D/s relationship with. There are many things you’ll want to know about a person before you jump into a relationship (or bed!) with them. Getting the “big picture” about who someone is prior to investing your heart, time, and energy is crucial. Now let’s dive in and explore these questions together:

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** Note: There are many FREE printables here on the blog to help you and your partner discover more about each others interests. Please feel free to print them off and use them!**

I. The Fundamentals of Cg/l and BDSM: 

  1. Have you ever had a previous Cg/l relationship? If so, how many and what was your primary role?
  2. How would you describe your domination style? Are you a Master, Daddy, Mommy, Sir, Owner, etc.?
  3. Have you ever cared for a Little before? If so, what type of Little were they?
  4. How did you discover that you’re a dominant?
  5. How did you discover Cg/l?
  6. Why are you attracted to caring for a Little?
  7. Have you ever used safe words? If so, what words did you use?
  8. What are your hard limits?
  9. What are your soft limits?
  10. What are your kinks, fetishes, and taboo fantasies?
  11. Would you consider yourself a Sadist? Masochist? Switch?

II. Communication and Scheduling: 

  1. What times are we going to set aside to communicate with each other regularly?
  2. What is the best method to communicate with each other?
  3. What days of the week work best for connecting with each other?
  4. What limitations will your schedule present as an obstacle for us?
  5. Do you have any specific needs in terms of communicating with each other? (e.g. a goodnight text, or a good morning phone call)

III. The “Other” Stuff: 

  1. What expectations do you have for your submissive?
  2. Why do you want me as your submissive?
  3. How do you think you can help as my dominant? In what areas of my life would you like to help me?
  4. Are you the type of dominant who wants more then one submissive?
  5. What are your typical forms of punishment, and do you think punishment is an effective tool to use with a submissive?
  6. What are your pet peeves?
  7. What do you hope for in the long run of your D/s relationship?

Alright my friends, that’s it for this post. If you have any other questions that you would add to this list, please comment and let me know! Until then, stay safe, have a wonderful Monday, and keep on smiling! 🙂

Much love,

~Kitten xx

5 comments

  1. Before I committed to Daddy, I had a Dom give me a list of questions I should ask ANY Dom I was considering as a Dom… and likewise. He told me the importance of questioning and interviewing my Dom as much as he questioned me. This was one of the most important things I learned along my journey of finding Daddy.

    One of the struggles I have with Daddy is that He doesn’t like to think about and dissect who He is and why He does what He does. It makes growing our D/s relationship difficult for me in ways He doesn’t understand. We don’t talk on an even ground about things. Thanks for the prompt to think about bring this back to His attention. ♥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My pleasure, my friend! I can completely understand what you’re experiencing because there are many men out there who have been raised to really just process through things without connecting too much to the emotional side of things. They are taught at an early age to just “handle” things or deal with it. It isn’t intentional, it’s just more how they were raised. But I have no doubt that just as your Daddy guides you as your dominant, you can be a positive force of good in his life too to help him see that he can tap into that emotional side of himself to slowly open up and make space for self-reflection. 🙂 Sending you both lots of love and positive vibes! Xx

      Liked by 1 person

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