Day 46 of Little Introspection: Can You Have a Vanilla Life and Be a Little?

Hi Friends!

I almost typed: Yes. Or, of course. And left it at that.

But, life has a funny way of delivering exactly the words you need them, just when you need them. This morning I woke up and felt the marine layer on my bare skin. Goosebumps prickled my pale flesh. I had left the windows open again. No wonder I tossed and turned last night. My eyelids refused to peel open like they usually do with a normal nights rest. My nose felt stuffy. This had nothing to do with being a Little. I was simply a human being with a head cold. I always get stuffy when I get too cold. Today we’re examining if you can have a vanilla life and still be a Little. Not only can you have a vanilla life, but I encourage you to do so! Now, let’s dive in.


I. Life isn’t all about sex: 

Recently I heard the term “sexcation” and it made me smile. Oh how lovely it would be to go away on a vacation and do nothing but have passionate sex, snuggles, and stay naked the entire time! But alas, that costs time, money, and preparation. My real life isn’t like that, and I’m betting yours isn’t either. In the world of B.D.S.M. it’s easy to get caught up in the kink side of things. After all, it’s glamorous, seductive, enticing, and alluring. There is a fetish for every person on the planet, and a partner out there willing to fulfill your hearts deepest desires. But if we’re being honest here, even those glamorous sex workers still have vanilla lives. I once asked a male sex worker if anyone had ever hired him to simply pick his brain and just have a chat (completely G-rated). “No” he admitted, “but I’d bloody love that!”. It made me smile.

Deep down, we’re all the same. Sex and intimacy certainly has it’s place in life. But there is so much more “meat” and substance to human connections other than sex. There are emotions, moments, stress, kids, marriage, work, traveling, health, finances, and so on. Our vanilla lives likely make up the bulk of who we are, and that’s perfectly normal. You don’t need to be walking around in diapers and a onesie in order to be a Little. Just be yourself, vanilla life and all, because that is enough.

II. Having a vanilla life makes little space more valuable: 

I often preach on here about balancing your “big me” and “little me” time. And I still stand by that completely. I’ve come to learn that by having a largely vanilla life, you begin to appreciate the moments when you can slip into little space that much more. Time is a precious commodity, and how you divide your time is important. Think of it like a currency. How will you spend your money today? Today, I’m choosing to type this to you from bed. I’m basking in my vanilla world all snuggled up under three blankets. I also know that when the moment arises when I can go into little space, I will soak it up, because most of the day was spent doing adult things around the house.

So, too, will the situation be similar in your life. You have obligations to fulfill. You have people depending upon you in your everyday life. And so you will rise to meet your responsibilities knowing that the moment when you can take off your adult hat, and put on your little crown, you will enjoy every second of it.

III. Life is about human connections: 

Another reason that I encourage you to have a vanilla life, outside of your little space, is because life is about human connections. From friends to family to lovers to pure strangers, as humans we long for physical touch and connections. We yearn to talk to people, and interact openly. We crave authentic relationships full of meaning and depth. This is completely normal. Yes, have little friends, but never neglect your vanilla world for your kink lifestyle. You’ll find that even your little friends have vanilla lives too. 🙂 Find a balance in both and your heart will be full.

IV. At the end of the day, you should just be yourself: 

I want to leave you with this final thought. You are enough. Yes, YOU! You, just as you are, is enough.

  • You are a Little even if you’re married.
  • You are a Little even if you have children.
  • You are a Little even if you are battling an illness.
  • You are a Little even if you never get time for little space.
  • You are a Little even if you are a virgin.
  • You are a Little even if you’re closeted.
  • You are a Little even if you’re LGBTQI+
  • You are a Little even if you’re unsure of how to be a Little!

Who you are, how you live your life, whether you blend your little side and big side together, or if you don’t…. is enough. Just be yourself, because the world needs more people like you. Have a beautiful Friday everyone! Don’t forget to smile! 🙂

Much love,

~Kitten xx

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