As I danced around my living room listening to “Church Clap” By: KB feat. Lecrae, I compiled a list of 10 rules that would help Christian D/s (and Cg/l) couples navigate their relationship while still putting Christ first. So, enjoy the list and let’s dive in! 🙂
- Refrain from looking at porn. There is plenty of “NSFW” social media posts, and videos circulating under BDSM and Cg/l that is quite frankly… porn. Whether it’s soft-core porn or straight up hardcore porn, as a Christian couple, you should encourage each other to shield your eyes away from such temptation. Help keep each other in check while still being a part of the community by finding other ways to connect with other dominants and littles. Don’t be afraid to block, ignore, and filter the media that you view to ensure that it is wholesome.
- Wear cute but modest Little outfits. There are so many outfits within the Cg/l world that are risque, skimpy, and leave little to the imagination. While it may seem difficult to create a modest, Little outfit, I assure you that it’s not as hard as you think. Choose your favorite onesie, then pair it with a long, A-line tutu! Voila! Cute, kawaii, and you’re covered up. Easy! 😉
- Incorporate prayer into your bedtime routine. It is so beautiful when couples take the time to pray together. Encourage each other to stay active in your spiritual walk with Christ by praying together before bed. I love the simple prayer: “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. Amen”.
- Have a monogamous, closed D/s bond. Refrain from harems or having polyamorous D/s relationship dynamics. As a Christian couple, it’s important to adhere to what the scripture says about being a couple. And while I will never judge anyone for their lifestyle choices, the Bible does state that a union should be between two people (and God). As such, as Christians, choose to have a monogamous D/s relationship. Enjoy the sanctity that your monogamy brings. It’s truly a gift.
- Refrain from bratting. Instead, encourage your dominant in all that they do! Though I have gotten hate thrown my way for my stance on bratting, I have to stand by my convictions. And that is, a healthy, D/s relationship is built on love, trust, honesty, and deep respect for each other. It is crucial that the submissive respects and obeys their dominant. It is a pillar of the D/s dynamic. Make the conscious choice to not brat your dominant for attention. Be playful, sure. Tease and be silly with your dominant. But never forget to obey their commands. Encourage your dominant in all that they do. As their submissive it’s important that you be their biggest cheerleader. They will deeply appreciate you doing so. 🙂
- Follow “SFW” Littles and wholesome content creators. While there are many vocal Littles in the Cg/l community that create “NSFW” content, there is an entire other group of Littles who regress for reasons outside of the kink aspect. They call themselves “SFW” littles or “AgeRe”. Often times they aren’t connected with D/s and do not wish to have a dominant at all. However, they post pictures where they are covered up, or they highlight cute items to share with fellow Littles. All of their images are safe for viewing without being tempted. There are also wholesome Cg/l YouTubers creating videos for the community that is away from the kink lifestyle. Check out this list of Cg/l YouTubers to sift through and pick out the wholesome ones that you wish to follow!
- Use scripture as a guide for submission. Though it might seem obvious, there are many passages within the Bible that discuss submission at length and are a great guide for having a wholesome, Christian D/s relationship. My favorite scripture as a submissive is: “Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness.” (1 Timothy 2:11). Know that the Bible commands that we, submissives, are to walk in silence and serve our dominant from a place of unconditional love, respect, and trust. It is in the fabric of our DNA to serve and love, just as we love Christ Jesus.
- Weave volunteer work into your dates out as a couple. The next time that you have a date night out, try doing God’s work together and serve your local community! It’s a wonderfully, rewarding way to connect as a couple, and to grow in your spiritual walk. It feels good to give unto others. Check out your local food bank, and sign up to help serve meals. Assist at your local homeless shelter. Prepare goody bags for homeless citizens. Do what you can to make someone else’s life just a tiny bit easier, and I promise you that you’ll feel amazing inside. “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” (Hebrews 13:16)
- Create rules to life each other up and be better versions of yourselves. When you first begin a D/s relationship, you’ll want to draw up a relationship contract with each other. Part of the contract will include rules for the submissive (and the dominant) to adhere to. Think about creating rules that will help you both strive to be better versions of yourselves and to help remain pure in heart and mind. Some of these might include: no cursing, no drugs, alcohol, or smoking, spend time in prayer, hydrate daily, and exercise together). Remember: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29)
- Serve your partner with a servant’s heart. I do a lot of preaching on here about the submissive serving their dominant with a servant’s heart. But in truth, both partners should serve each other. The submissive should love, honor, respect, and obey their dominant to allow them to guide them through life. But, the dominant should also love, honor, cherish, and protect their submissive. Both partners should lift each other up and place their needs above all else. In doing so, if both partners are committed to making the relationship work, no one will ever feel “lacking”. It’s all about communication, and keeping your focus on your partner. Serve honestly, with a humble and kind heart, and you won’t go wrong. ❤
That’s it from me for this post, my friends. I hope you enjoyed it! If you did, smash that like button and let me know. Have a wonderful night and I will see you all back here in the morning!