How Submission Makes Me a Better Mom [Parenthood and BDSM, Part 6 of 10]

Good Morning Friends!

We made it to Friday!! YAY!!! Do your happy dance! Ready, set, GO!

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Today I want to talk about how being a submissive makes me a better mom. Just the other night I had a profound moment in which I was able to reflect upon how my submission helps me as a mother. So let’s go back to a few days ago. I could see it in my daughter’s eyes. Her blue eyes began to shimmer with anger and tears. She was pissed. My little one is the perfect balance of strong-willed and stubborn, both traits she gets from me. I knew a meltdown was imminent. Sure enough, moments later she clenched her tiny fists and began ranting. I sat, looking at her quietly, letting her vent. I waited until she got all of her sassy-ness out. Then I stepped in.

I. Sometimes You Speak Louder with Silence: 

I took a deep breath, opened my arms, and grabbed her. I pulled her into a tight hug. Suddenly I felt her body weight fall against mine as she began to hug me back. “Let it go” I whispered to her, “let the anger go”. As a submissive, I am called to be quiet, tender, and to listen attentively. I have trained myself over years to be quite observant, and to take note of things in a conversation. I knew in that moment she needed love to push past her intense emotions. There would be time to give her gentle guidance. I would have the chance to mother her, and correct some behavior. But in that space, she needed love, touch, and reassurance.

One of the things I love most about being a submissive, is being able to be silent. It is the greatest mental release to fall silent and lean on my dominant. To kneel obediently, and simply be. My normally buzzing mind falls still, and I am able to focus with better clarity. As I learned to listen more than I speak, I began to use these skills as a parent too. When my daughter begins speaking to me in a moments notice, I pause what I’m doing. I admit that there are times when I have to lift a finger and say, “hold on one moment, I want to hear everything you’re saying. Give me two seconds and I’m all yours”. I make sure she knows that she has 100% of my focus and attention, and that her thoughts and feelings are valued by me.

II. Idle Hands Makes the Devils Work: 

Another skill that I have picked up being submissive is to stay busy. I appreciate the times when I can chill and relax. I enjoy rocking out throughout my day, but I also don’t allow myself to fall into laziness. I don’t slack on responsibilities. My daughter sees all of the housework that I do. She sees me scrub clothes by hand when the washing machine is out. She sees me cook meals from scratch three times a day. Over time I have slowly helped to train her to do some chores here and there too. There is an expectation that as a member of the family, she must do her part too. I have long emphasized taking pride in the appearance of your home. Your home is your palace regardless of how big or small it may be. Keep your living space clean. Be presentable and put together. And most importantly, keep yourself busy enough that you don’t fall into poor habits.

III. Preparing for the Future: 

My daughter laid snuggled up to me one night a few weeks ago. “Mama” she said quietly, “I don’t think I want to marry for a long time”. There was determination in her voice. I smiled quietly. “Then don’t” I purred, “You only marry if it feels right and you’re well and settled into your own life”. She nodded, but I could see her wheels turning still. I waited in silence letting her open up when she was ready. A few more minutes of quiet passed. “Mama!” she suddenly blurted out, “how did you know that you wanted to stay home with me?”. My lips began to curl into a tender smile. “Sometimes… you just know” I said stroking her wispy hair, “the moment they placed you into my arms I knew that I never wanted to be far from you”. Her face lit up and she gave me a big squeeze.

In all seriousness, I knew the moment I became a mother that it was a huge part of my destiny. I love being a parent. I take it seriously, and cherish my ability to raise my daughter each and every day. I love that she sees our home with traditional gender roles. While I encourage her to one day attend college and travel the world, I also know that she will make a fine parent herself one day when she marries and settles down. I beam when she declares that frozen food is “trash”, and that she will always cook from scratch for herself. I feel a deep sense of pride when she compliments how much I do. Domestic service is a huge part of my submission. And as such, those lessons and values are being passed on to her. I hold her in my arms and we daydream of what her wedding day will look like. But my favorite part of those moments is when she pauses and squeezes me a little bit tighter and says, “Mama…. that’s not gonna be for a long time, right?”. I squeeze her close and close my eyes, giving thanks to God for blessing me with her as my baby. “Not for a long… LONG… time” I whisper.

There are so many ways that you can be a parent and a dominant or submissive. The more you allow yourself to live the lifestyle, the more you will see a gentle overlap of the two parts of your life. Your dominance will radiate out into your family as you take charge. Your submission will nurture and strengthen your home. Your child/ren will watch how you carry yourself, and will mimic the respect that you show your partner. They will see how you care for yourself, and will begin to do the same. Allow all the parts of you to shine through every sector of your life. You are who you are, and that is something to be proud of. 

I hope you all have a wonderful Friday! If you enjoyed this post, please smash that like button and let me know! Stay tuned for the next topic, and I will see you all back here then!

Much love,

~Kitten xx

 

3 comments

  1. Hi!
    I just had a really random question that may or may not make sense. I’m not part of the BDSM community in any way, but I’ve been doing a lot of research on it and something that I came upon is how children typically bear witness to the lifestyles of their parents. My main question has to do with how you personally feel kids who have consistently been exposed to parts of this lifestyle, such as collaring, react to full disclosure of the lifestyle their parents choose to endure when the kids are older? Is that a concern that you personally have for your children and how they will react? If these questions make no sense, or you personally do not feel comfortable answering them, then just ignore this comment. Thank you! Have a nice day!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Chucpy!
      Thank you for the excellent question. While I know that every couple/parent in the lifestyle does things differently, I’ll simply speak from my own experience. 😉 As for me, as a mom I always place my daughter’s well-being far above any activities I do as a member of the BDSM community. Now, my daughter is nearly a teenager and so her understanding is greater about what BDSM is from a definition point of view. But my husband and I have always had strict rules when it comes to our lifestyle choices and being parents. 1. We always do play sessions after she heads to bed. Never while she is awake. 2. Any lifestyle attire is also worn only after bedtime. We did modify me wearing a necklace for the daytime and my steel collar for nighttime when she heads to bed. 3. While I identify as a hybrid little, I always remain present as a mom during daytime hours.
      I think it’s a delicate balance that parents in the lifestyle have to walk. Children need to remain children. They don’t need to know about the sexual aspects of our lifestyle or the power dynamics. They don’t need to know about bondage or anything of the like. While I think it’s important for littles to have a chance to explore mental age regression, as a parent you have to be selective when you choose to do so and only regress when your child isn’t present. Otherwise I feel it would confuse your child greatly. That’s just my humble opinion. 🙂 I’m a firm believer in keeping children “innocent” until they are legal adults. Will children ask questions? Of course. And then it’s up to the parent to give age-appropriate answers. Personally I have chosen to shield my daughter from much of the lifestyle as I am more of a wholesome/non-sexual little to begin with. Instead, my daughter sees me in more of a traditional female gender role which is submissive by nature, caring for the home, taking care of her, and serving my husband fully.
      I believe that while parents want to remain authentic and open with their children, and I think sex-positive households can be healthy for children to be raised in and encouraging for them to ask questions and get sound knowledge… honestly, I’m a bit of a prude lol. So, we have chosen to keep our daughter away from our lifestyle as much as possible. I hope that makes sense. If you have anymore questions, please don’t hesitate to ask! Have an awesome day! 🙂

      Like

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