Day 1 of Submissive Training: Discuss Your Expectations with Each Other [30 Day Series]

istockphoto-622902572-612x612

Hi Friends!

Welcome to Day 1 of the Submissive Training series. Today we are going to begin our journey into formal submissive training. I say– we, because I will also be completing these tasks with my Daddy right along with you and your dominant. 🙂

Disclaimer: As always, please take these lesson plans and use them as a “blueprint” for your own D/s relationship. They should be a tool for inspiration. Keep what you love, discard what you don’t. Make the journey your own.

Now, let’s dive in.

Day 1: Discuss Your Expectations with Each Other 

Introduction: 

Welcome to the start of your formal training! For the next 30 days you will be diving into topics that will help build, strengthen, and nourish your D/s bond. My hope is that along this journey you will discover more about your partner, navigate differences, and embrace each other fully both together as a couple, and separate as individuals. That said, today’s focus is understanding your expectations. It can be difficult to truly ask yourself: “why do I want a dominant?” or “why do I want a submissive?”. But in order to answer this question you must first figure out what you’re lacking in your personal life.

1_cor_16-14_white_floral_web_fe82421c-b60b-4e07-b875-06bcb589140d_2000x

This isn’t a negative thing. In fact, understanding your weaknesses in itself is a strength. You’re taking positive steps to connect with your partner because you know that they have qualities that will help you become a better person, and visa versa. But there are also deeper reasons for wanting to be in a D/s relationship. There are many submissives who choose to be single or solo littles. They choose a path without a dominant and of course, this is perfectly fine. But you chose to seek out your partner. Today, I want you to explore why you chose to connect with them. Ask yourself these questions:

  • What is it about my partner that makes me yearn to be in a D/s bond with them?
  • Is there anything in my life that I’m missing that a D/s relationship can fulfill?
  • Why do I want a dominant to guide, love, and care for me?

Once you have the answers to these questions, then you can go deeper to create a list of expectations for your partner. Everyone has different needs, wants, and desires. Today’s activity is to create a list of expectations that you have for your partner. Think about all of the little things that are important to you. Create a list and swap lists with your partner. The more open and transparent you are, the better off you’ll be. You will want to know what your partner expects from you. That way, you can better serve them, and they can better care for you. Here is a list to get you started. Have fun! ❤

Partner Expectations 

Communication: 

  • How often would you like to communicate (per week) with your partner?
  • Are there certain times of the day which you prefer to communicate with your partner? Or is any time fine for communicating?
  • Are there certain words/ language choices that you don’t want to hear or that offend you easily? (If so, please share with your partner.)
  • Is texting important to you?
  • Is saying “good morning” when you wake up, and “good night” before you go to sleep, important to you?
  • Is seeing a daily picture of your partner important to you?
  • Are there certain D/s names (or pet names) that you prefer to use or want them to use with you?
  • Is video chat important to you? If so, how often would you like to video chat with your partner?
  • Would you like to have video lunch “dates” with each other?
  • Are there other platforms that you wish to use to communicate with your partner?

Emotional Needs: 

  • How often would you like to have play sessions (per week)?
  • How often would you like to go into little space (if applicable) with your partner per week?
  • What areas of your life would you like your dominant to control?
  • What safe words would you like to use with your partner?
  • What areas of your life would you like your submissive to uplift and support?
  • Would you like to have flirting, sexual play as a part of your relationship?
  • Are compliments important to you? Do you need emotional reassurance regularly from your partner?
  • Does it bother you if your partner is clingy, needy, or needs/wants to be close to you often?

Sexual Needs: 

  • How often would you like to have sex with your partner?
  • How important to you is oral sex?
  • Are you open to giving/receiving oral sex?
  • Are you open to giving/receiving anal sex?
  • How important to you is physical, intimate touch? (holding hands, snuggling, hugging, kissing, etc.)
  • How often would you like to be touched by your partner?
  • Do you like to initiate intimate play, or prefer for your partner to initiate play?
  • Do you need/want to be bitten during sex? Is it important to you?
  • How do you feel about your partner being vocal/loud during sex?
  • How often would you like to have special play sessions (per week) to incorporate kinks, fetishes, etc.?

Spiritual Needs: 

  • How important is it that your partner is the same religion as you?
  • Would you like to incorporate prayer, going to church together, etc. into your relationship?
  • Do you view sex as having a spiritual component?
  • Do your religious beliefs impact how you view your D/s relationship? (If so, please share with your partner.)

Physical Needs: 

  • Do you have any physical imitations that you’d like to express with your partner?
  • How often would you like to be physically with your partner (per week)?
  • How do you feel about public displays of affection? Are they important to you?
  • Is touch while out in public important to you (holding hands, touch in the car, etc.)?
  • What other forms of touch are important to you? (massage, showering together, etc.)
  • How important is it to you that your partner has manners/etiquette?
  • Is there a certain bedtime that is important to you?
  • Are you a morning or evening person? Do you expect your partner to be the same as you?
  • Are naps important to you? Would you like your partner to nap with you?
  • Do you have sleeping habits/needs that your partner needs to know about you?

Domestic Service Needs: 

  • Is it important to you for your dominant to pick out your clothing for the day?
  • Who would you prefer to cook the meals in the relationship? (Or would you prefer to cook meals together as a couple?)
  • What chores around the house would you like your partner to do?
  • What are your “pet peeves” when it comes to your environment being a certain way?

If you think of anymore that I might have missed, please comment and leave them below. 🙂 That’s it from me for this post, my friends! Have a wonderful night and I will see you all back here in the morning! ❤

Much love,

~Kitten xx

One comment

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s