Good Morning Friends!
Today we are diving into day 2 of submissive training. Today’s focus is to learn to embrace all of your partner. When you enter into a D/s relationship, you accept your partner unconditionally. You embrace the good, bad, and the ugly. You love them wholeheartedly, and accept all of their flaws. Why? Because it is those flaws that you will slowly nurture and help uplift your dominant or submissive, and encourage them to work on themselves. Today’s exercise will give you a blueprint of how to do just that. Now, let’s dive in.
I. Love From an Unconditional Mindset:
Have you ever looked at your partner and thought, “I love them so much, but if they would just change____________ then they would be amazing!”? I admit that in the past, in previous relationships, I have thought this. I had it in my mind that over time I could change certain aspects of them. I wanted them to be my ideal partner. And while I had good intentions at heart, my thinking wasn’t fair to them. I can see that now. When you choose to love your partner, you are choosing to love them as an individual. Love is a verb. An action. It is something that you do, far beyond what you feel. You do small acts of kindness every day to demonstrate your love for them. By doing so, you’re showing your partner that who they are, how they are in that very moment, is enough. You accept them completely and that is a beautiful demonstration of love. I encourage you to reflect on your relationship and choose to love your partner unconditionally.
There will be things that you disagree with. Behaviors or habits that they do, you may dislike strongly, and that’s okay. But how you carry yourself, and how you feel is something that you have control over. Choose to respond to them from a place of love and acceptance. Slowly they will see your behavior and will want to love you same in return.
II. Religion, Politics, and Those “Awkward” Topics:
It’s inevitable that when you’re in a close relationship that you’re going to discover what political affiliation your partner is. You will learn what religion they practice (if any). And you will learn who they voted for in 2016. Sometimes those interests line up, and other times they don’t. But like my Daddy says: we can choose to respectfully disagree on certain points. That doesn’t change our love. You love your partner for who they are which supersedes politics, religion, or any other societal label. If you find that you and your partner are both passionate about a part of your life that is in disagreement, dig deep and choose to embrace the differences.
Often times, while people are different religions, there are core values within every religion that are similar. If you belong to different political parties, choose to not talk about politics. Trump doesn’t need to be a part of your play sessions lol. 😉 Choose to let those differences go. Each quality that is different between you two, is what makes up who you are, and for that… you love each other. Love the differences, and let go of what you can’t see eye to eye. It isn’t worth it to hold anything like that against your partner.
Today you will be making a list of all the things you think are different between you and your partner. Once you’ve completed your list, sit down and go through each bulleted point as a couple. Discuss them at length. If there is a difference that is upsetting you both, try and find a compromise. Work together to help each other see other’s standpoint. You don’t need to “convince” your partner that your way is right or better. The focus is understanding your partner better. At the end of the exercise, tell your partner that you embrace them fully, including all of your differences. 🙂
III. How to Respectfully Disagree:
The final point I’d like to touch upon is how to respectfully disagree with your partner. My Daddy and I have things in the many, many hours we’ve been talking, that have come up in which we disagree. And that’s okay! Our differences are what makes us unique and we appreciate, understand, and celebrate those differences. So, too, will you end up doing the same with your partner. Now, when you’re disagreeing and having a heated discussion it’s difficult to “celebrate your differences”, right? lol. I totally understand. Any relationship, whether it’s a D/s relationship or not, will have disagreements and arguments. It’s human nature to sometimes disagree. It’s how you navigate the differences that counts. Choose to work together, rather than trying to force your partner to give in and simply go with your opinion. Here are a few helpful tips on how to respectfully disagree in a healthy way:
- Use “I feel…” statements instead of “you” statements. Focus your energy inward to describe to your partner how you’re feeling in that moment. There’s no need to place blame. It doesn’t help the situation at all.
- Be mindful of the words you choose to use. While you may be angry and upset, there is never a need to cuss at your partner or call them demeaning names.
- If need be, take some time to cool off and calm down. But remember to state, “I need a few minutes” before you walk out of the room. This will give your partner reassurance that you aren’t leaving for good. You just need a moment to collect your thoughts to then talk in a mature, grounded way.
- Try to compromise. Often times there is a way to find middle ground in a disagreement. Being a part of a partnership means learning to adjust a bit to help support your partners needs, while they do the same. Try to find a middle ground that is comfortable for you both. Talk things out. You’ll feel much better when you do.
I wish you and your dominant, many, many years of love, happiness, and success. Time is truly the most sacred thing in the world. Cherish every moment together. Put love first in all of your actions, and you won’t go wrong. Have a beautiful Wednesday, my friends, and I will see you back here on the next post.