Good Morning Friends,
Pet peeves. We all have them. For some of us, they started at an early age. Other times they came about in adulthood after experiencing something that seriously triggered our senses. However your pet peeves came to be, it’s important to be honest with your partner about what they are. It’s okay to have a bunch of them. It’s perfectly normal to have a few that seriously make your eye twitch. What isn’t okay is to withhold information, or wait to see if your partner “slips up” and accidentally does one of your pet peeves. Trust me, you don’t want to play head games. Today we’re going to discuss common pet peeves, how to talk with your partner about them, and ways you can diffuse your own negative emotion associated with each. Now let’s dive in.
I. Eating and Manners:
I remember the moment I went out on a date with a guy. The conversation flowed naturally. We both felt comfortable and his company was pleasant enough, nothing really exciting. And then we ordered our food. “Yeah, uh, I’ll have the burger with extra mayo” he said in a clipped tone to the waiter. I blinked. There was no please, thank you, or anything in between. “What d’you want?” he asked me. Now I’m not Little Miss Manners over here, but even I was raised to have etiquette at a restaurant. “May I have the chef’s salad, please?” I smiled at the waiter. The guy looked at me and thought it was time for a joke. “What are you asking him for?” he joked obnoxiously, “We’re paying for the shit!”. Needless to say, I wasn’t impressed and there was never a second date. Manners matter! I had another guy who, for the life of him, never chewed with his mouth closed. It was like eating with a cow. I could hear the smack of each chomp as he masticated the food in his mouth. It drove me crazy!
If you have pet peeves that are similar to mine, and they happen to be with your dominant or submissive, try gently discussing your feelings with them. You’ll need to tred lightly, as these habits are likely things that your partner isn’t even aware that they’re doing. They can be easily embarrassed and that’s certainly not something you want. You could also do the roundabout way of talking to your partner by creating a fictitious person, and telling your partner how it drove you crazy that they chewed with their mouth open. Then see if they put two and two together that it’s a pet peeve of yours and likely you wouldn’t want them doing it either. This saves your partners “face” and allows them to correct said behavior.
II. In the Car:
Isn’t it funny how driving can trigger so many pet peeves? There are terrible drivers on the road. People that drive too fast. People that drive too slow. People that cut you off in traffic. Traffic jams. Weather conditions that can make it difficult to drive. And then you have everything happening in your own car! Does your partner ever “backseat drive” and tell you what to do? That can be annoying! If you have children, do they ever want to play the same song over… and over… and over….? Some people “lay down the law” that the driver gets control of the radio and music. Other people surrender to appeasing their partner or family. What do you do?
If you have pet peeves that deal with being in the car together, try to be proactive. Stock up on CDs and music that you both enjoy listening to. Create a playlist on your phone that is tolerable to you both. Give everyone a bathroom break before you leave to go somewhere, so that you don’t have to say, “we just left the house! No, we are NOT stopping. We only went 5 miles”. (lol) If your partner is a Little, stock up on coloring books, crayons, picture books, snacks, drinks, and music that makes them feel Little. This will surely keep them happy on the drive.
III. The Bathroom:
Once upon a time, I was a young bride to a past partner. Not a few months into living together did we have our first real argument. Day after day this man would drop his sopping wet towel right there on the bathroom floor! Never mind that there were hooks, bars, and plenty of places for him to hang it up. I reminded, nudged, and tried to curb this behavior that drove me nuts. “Dude! Just hang up your nasty towel or heck, put it on the back of a chair!!” I roared one day. I was at my limit with mildewed towels and wet bathroom floors.
In retrospect I certainly could have handled myself much more maturely. If you have pet peeves that surround the bathroom you have to be up front right off the bat. Tell your partner that they have to lift the lid to pee. The toilet paper roll should be on top, not beneath. And you really don’t want to wade through a river when heading to the shower, so please dry off ON the bath mat. Oh, and if you don’t want to look at your nasty toothpaste spit up, then neither do I and kindly wash it down when you’re brushing your teeth.
When I look over my own list of pet peeves I think they all revolve around common courtesy. I’ve had to change my behavior to not backseat drive my partner. I’ve had to be patient, compromise, and get constructive criticism to improve on myself. I think that is what it really boils down to. Pet peeves shouldn’t be an obstacle between you and your partner. They should be things that you help your partner improve upon, and they help you grow as an individual too. What do you think? Do you think pet peeves can be treated positively to help strengthen your relationship? After all, we all want to be people that are easy to live with. 🙂
I hope you all have a wonderful Friday. Let’s roll into this weekend with excitement, good vibes, and relaxation, and I will see you back here for the next topic!