Day 21 of Submissive Training: Discussing the Future with Your Partner

Good Morning Friends,

I’m one of those people who hates to tiptoe around the proverbial “bush” or the “elephant in the room”. So, I suppose it was no surprise when I sat down with my Daddy and asked him point blank: where is this relationship going? What do you want out of this relationship long term? I’m not one for subtlety. We then sat for hours talking at length about where we wanted our relationship to go, what dreams we have, and how we want our life to be long-term. We had to paint a picture together. But broaching the subject of discussing the future can make people feel uneasy. It’s a topic that screams commitment, planning, and preparation. Not to mention, people stress about when is the right time to discuss such a deep topic. So, today we are going to turn our attention towards how to discuss the future of your relationship with your partner. Are you ready? Then let’s dive in.


I. Discussing Long Term Plans Both as an Individual and as a Couple: 

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’ll remember that I often discuss how important it is to be strong as an individual before you come together as a couple. Before you enter into a D/s relationship, you’ll want to work on yourself as an individual. Tackle your baggage. Get your affairs in order. Begin to create goals for self-improvement. Become the best person that you can be. That way, when you do come together into a relationship you can be a strong partner. Now once you’re in the relationship for a while, you’ll begin to think about where it’s going long term. This is completely natural. You want to be with your partner forever. But you also never want to lose yourself completely as an individual. Share your personal goals with your dominant. Remember who you are, and what you want, before you came together with your partner. The goal is to marry your interests both solo and taken together as a couple.

Once you’ve shared your personal goals with your partner, then discuss what long-term goals you want to make as a couple. Do you plan to move in together? Would you like to live near each other? Does your relationship have an expiration? Or do you see yourselves growing old together as D/s? Discuss through these feelings at length and create a picture in mind that you both can live with. Keep your personal interests and goals as part of that picture too. What makes your relationship so great, is that you have two unique, beautiful souls coming together to share your experiences, expertise, and feelings. You are who you are and that is something to be proud of.

II. Creating a Plan of Action Together: 

Once you’ve designed your long term vision together, then it’s time to create a plan of action! How are you going to achieve that goal? What steps will you take to get to the goals that you’ve set together? How will you support one another in your plan to reach your dreams? You’ll want to create a detailed plan of action with all the necessary steps to take to achieve your goal. If your plan is to move in together, maybe your plan of action will include: finding a job in the same city, saving up money to move, purchasing needed items for your new place, searching apartments together, etc. Discuss how you want to baby step your way to achievement and write it down. If you’re a very creative person, consider making a “dream board” with your dominant or submissive. I love dream boards. It’s a visual reminder of everything that you’re working towards.

Make sure that your plan of action is also a timeline. You want to set deadlines for yourself because then it will push you to work harder (and smarter!). You’ll feel a bit of the pressure, but this isn’t a bad thing. It will give fuel to your fire. You will have a plan to discuss with your partner over and over again as you both inch ever closer towards your dreams. Savor it. Embrace it, because it’s awesome to have dreams woven together with your partner.

III. Doing Day to Day Things to Support Your Goal: 

With your plan of action in place and your baby steps lined up, then it’s time to do the nitty gritty steps towards achieving your goals. Save your money. Work really hard. Begin to train your body. Do whatever it is that you need to do to begin to inch towards those small, attainable mini-goals that will eventually lead to the overall big picture. Remember, nothing worth having is ever easy. But with hard work and tenacity, you can achieve anything your heart desires. If there is one piece of advice I can give you, while you’re in this stage of working towards the small goals, it’s this: never lose hope. Hope is what will fuel your fire. There will be days when the long-term plan for you and your partner feels so distant. It feels like a million miles away. But in reality, it’s not that far. Life flies by when we’re working hard and having fun. So tighten up those laces, my friends, and get working towards the dream you really desire.

IV. Be Your Partner’s Biggest Cheerleader: 

I recently asked my Daddy what he thinks makes us so compatible. (I love asking him thoughtful questions like that). In the things he listed, one of them was that we both uplift each other. I smiled from ear to ear, because that is a goal that I had set for myself. I always want to be a force of good in the connections I make with people. Let me uplift you. Let me cheer you on, give you helpful advice, and comfort you on a hard day. Let me love you when we’re feeling “frisky”, and giggle with you to minimize your stress. This is the mindset that I take with my Daddy, and I would encourage you to take with your partner. Relationships ebb and flow. They move through life like a wave, but it’s how we navigate each peak and trough together that matters. Be your partner’s biggest cheerleader.

It isn’t easy working three jobs to make ends meet. It isn’t easy working an overnight shift only to sleep all day before you head back into work. It isn’t easy taking care of the kids while trying to schedule time for little space. It isn’t fun driving around town to do errands all while your cell phone dings with a million messages waiting for you. But we do it because it’s life. Support your partner. Be a force of good in their life. Grab their hand (even from afar) and give them reassurance that they are doing a great job. Thank them for working so hard. Shower them with genuine praise and love because that goes a long, long way. Your love, support, and comfort will strengthen and uplift your relationship in the long run. Trust me. ❤

Have you spoken to your partner about your long term D/s relationships goals? If so, how did you do it? Comment and let me know! I’d love to hear from you.

Alright that’s it from me for this post, my friends. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know. I hope you all have a fantastic FRI-YAY and I will see you back here for the next topic!

Much love,

~Kitten/Punkin Xx


  1. Well said!

    Not only is it important to discuss the future. I think you need to discuss it when the time is right. For example, you need to be sure that you and your partner are on the same wavelength before you broach that subject. Otherwise, the question of “where do you see us in the future?” can cause him/her to…run for the hills! After all, discussing the future isn’t an easy discussion to have. Especially when the relationship is new and you aren’t certain of his/her mindset to begin with.

    Also, I agree wholeheartedly. It is extremely important to be a source of praise and support for your partner… and that should always go both ways.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Excellent point, AC! I 100% agree with you that the length of time in the relationship matters as to when to broach the subject of “where is the relationship going?”. I think there is a way to “tiptoe” towards the subject and begin feeling out your partner to see if you both are on the same wavelength, and if so, then by all means… dive in. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s