Are You Poly? Are You Married? What’s Up With You, Penny?! [Kitten’s Rambles :) ]

Good Afternoon Friends!

I hope you all are having a lovely Monday. Lately I have had many beautiful, curious questions regarding my lifestyle, relationship status, etc. and so I thought I would field them in a fun post to get everyone on the same page. Hopefully this post answers all of your questions. However, if you have any questions that I didn’t answer, please feel free to message, DM, or email me. This space is my little corner of the internet where I’m transparently me. Alright, now let’s dive in. ❤

Many people have been wondering what my relationship status is, who is my Daddy, and didn’t I have a husband lol. So let’s get that out of the way first.

  • I am happily married to my husband of 7 years.
  • I also have a Daddy dom who is a wonderful man, friend, and partner. He lives out of town so we are a long distance D/s couple.
  • My D/s dynamic is monogamous in that I only have my Daddy and he only has me. 🙂
  • My submissive style is what I call a “hybrid little”. I am a playful spirit who leans towards being a Little, but I also have a part of me that is a more mature, submissive side. As such, I also gravitate towards taken-in-hand submission and voluntary slavery. My little age is around 5 years old.

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I. Commonly Asked Questions: 

Is your husband involved in the kink lifestyle? Is he vanilla? What does he think about you being in a D/s relationship? Does he ever get jealous? 

To best answer this question, I am going to directly quote my husband here:

“Jealousy is the manifestation of insecurities”. -Mr. Berry

So, nope! My husband doesn’t get jealous. He also is incredibly supportive of my D/s relationship. He isn’t vanilla at all. In fact, he is kinky too and has his own preferences. The basis of our marriage is one bred in compassionate communication. Now don’t get me wrong, it has taken us 7 years to get to the point where we are so open, transparent, brutally honest, and deeply understanding of one another. But we’ve finally got there and I’m so thankful that we have. What we’ve learned is this: we are two beautiful human beings who choose to be together. We love our connection. We also aren’t intimidated by either of us forming connections with other people, because those other connections isn’t an indicator of something lacking between us. It’s simply forming other connections. And at the end of the day, what we want is for us to be the happiest we can be.

Does your husband have a submissive or other partners? 

Currently he doesn’t have another partner. But he is always open to forming connections with others should there be a spark. 🙂

So you are polyamorous? 

Labels are such an interesting concept. I think we like to label things more as a way of processing things in our mind, rather than wanting to place labels on people. Labeling brings us comfort. We can mentally put things in a “box” of sorts. But in actual reality, I try not to label myself or my connections. I can see why people think I’m poly. But, I simply say that I’m blessed to have two beautiful relationships. When I’m with my Daddy, I give 110% of me to him. When I’m with my husband, I do the same. I guess I think in monogamous terms like that and leave the labels for others who need them. 🙂

Okay, so who is your dominant and how did you meet? 

My dominant’s name is Daddy on this blog. We met online. He is a wonderful man and a creative soul. He has the most beautiful, rich belly laugh. He can banter with me like no other. He is meticulous and quite observant. He is a music junkie who can keep up with my bee-bopping soul, and isn’t afraid to cut loose and have some fun. He loves to travel and appreciates a home cooked meal too. He even makes his own homemade jerky! He is much more shy when it comes to his kinky side, so for the time being, out of respect to him I am keeping his identity hidden. ❤

II. 10 Relationship Tips That I Use in Both of My Relationships (and They Might Help You Too!):

  1. Be committed to each other. When you commit to your partner, you sign up for the good and the bad. You’re in it through the thick and thin. Dig deep and hold onto each other because it’s so worth it to weather the storms together.
  2. Embrace your partner’s differences. I absolutely love it that my partners are different from me. If we were all alike the world would be utterly boring! Embrace all of the little things that make your partner different from you and cherish the differences.
  3. Communicate your sexual needs transparently. I cannot stress this enough. You have to tell your partner what your true libido is. You need to tell them when you are feeling frisky or when you’re not. You need to express what your kinks and desires are, because sexual intimacy is important in every healthy relationship.
  4. Fight fair. There are always ways to talk out disagreements without cutting each other down. Take a moment to calm yourself. Focus on the problem, not your partner. Don’t name call and never fight in front of the kids.
  5. Work on your relationship. Relationships take work, my friends! I communicate constantly in my relationships because I want to always give them nourishment. Schedule date nights. Send gifs that show that you care. Snap a photo of you with bedhead. Who cares?! Your partner will love you all the more for being so open with them. 🙂
  6. Be reasonable with your expectations. So many times people have a mile long list of what they’re looking for in “The One”. But nobody is perfect. No one is going to fit every single expectation you might have. Instead, look for someone with the same values as you. Make a list of primary values and secondary values. Your primary values are things that are an absolute deal-breaker. For example: a primary value of mine is that my partner has to be family-oriented because I am deeply family-oriented. A secondary value is something that is negotiable. An example of this would be if you’re into football but your partner is not. Maybe you love football season, but your partner could care less about the sport. This is a secondary value, because you can negotiate that they can learn a little on the sport, but you don’t press them to be at every game with you. Remember, expectations shift over time but values stay the same.
  7. Get into a D/s relationship only when you’re ready. Although relationships feel great, you need to make sure that you’re able to handle one. Handle your baggage. Focus on yourself as an individual before you come together as a couple. And make sure that your “season of life” or your daily schedule allows for you to make actual time for your D/s relationship. You never want to neglect your partner because you’re too busy to make time.
  8. You’ve got to have sexual attraction. I always giggle when I hear people say, “love is blind” because…. no… it’s really not. Love is love! But it ain’t blind, my friends. At least not when it comes to doing “boomies” with your partner, hehe! There has to be something sexually appealing between you and your partner, or else it’s going to be extremely difficult to make things work. Why? Because sex matters! It’s natural and normal to want to have sex. It’s normal to yearn for sexual release. And if you aren’t attracted to your partner then it’s going to put a strain on things.
  9. Have self-control and take your time getting to know each other. While I may come off has horny, kinky, and wild… I’m actually quite the opposite of wild. I’m “choosy” when it comes to who I’m intimate with. I value my body and self worth. I believe that sexual intimacy is the greatest gift that you can share with another human being. As such, take your time getting to know your partner. You don’t need to rush into bed for fear of them leaving you. If you feel like your partner won’t want to stay with you unless you put out, they can get the heck out! You don’t need’em! Choose someone who is willing to slow down and get to know you inside and out before you consummate your bond. ❤
  10. Always be supportive of your partner. Life is hard. It can be messy, colorful, difficult, and wonderful. But we’re all in this crazy race of life. If we’re lucky, we find people who will grab our hand and not let go. Be your partner’s biggest cheerleader. Check in with them daily. Ask questions like, “how are you, really?” to keep a pulse on their emotional well being. They will appreciate it when you do. Give them praise and shower them in love. Good vibes always come back around. 🙂

Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know. I hope you all have a wonderful afternoon and I will see you back here for the next topic!

Much love,

~Kitten/Punkin Xx

 

 

4 comments

  1. Hummm…very interesting insight you’ve shared. Thank you! Think I am currently in a similar boat as you. A husband and a Daddy. Don’t quiet see it as polygamy myself. Had always wanted and needed a good father figure in my life and I am very fortunate enough to finally find one. His relationship between me is purely father-daughter. But at times I do feel confused as he is a dominant himself. My relationship with my husband is irreplaceable. And like you mentioned, to maintain these two very different relationships, communication is the key.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So very true, Kitten! And congrats to YOU!! As I like to say, “we are doubly blessed!!” ❤ You know, at times it might feel like you have more tasks, less time to give because you're sharing between two, and giving lots of reassurance to both men. But, I'd like to think that all the hard work we do as wives and a submissive is so worth all the love, joy, compassion, and happiness we get in return. It's so worth it. *BIG HUGS* to you my friend! 🙂

      Like

      1. You can just call me Kit. Don’t think I am at the stage you are in right now. Think the problem is I am not quiet at peace with myself. Still very conflicted that I can love two men equally but differently at the same time. Feel you may provide better insight to help me along this journey that I didn’t really expect to embark on.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh absolutely, Kit! I completely understand how you feel. You know, love is a funny and mysterious emotion at times. When I first connected with Daddy C. I wondered how it was possible to love a man outside of my marriage so strongly. This only intensified after we connected in person. But what I realized along the way was that my love for Daddy C was taking away anything from my world with my husband, it was simply adding more love into my world. 🙂 I’d love to talk with you anytime. Feel free to email me at pennyberryddlg@gmail.,com and we can go into greater depth! *BIG HUGS*!

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