Day 24 of Submissive Training: Let’s Discuss S&M

Good Morning Friends,

I’m going to tell you a story about the night that I dabbled in masochism. Admittedly, I’ve only done it once, but it was definitely thrilling. A year or so ago, I bought my very first implement tool: a crop. Now, I freely admit that when it comes to my pain threshold, I’m kind of a wuss. I’m not a huge masochist but I am a curious soul. I had seen a bunch of BDSM porn videos with women getting flogged, caned, and crying out in ecstasy. “…. how??” I wondered in awe, or more accurately, “why??”. I needed to experience a taste of S&M for myself, so I urged my husband to experiment with me. He isn’t a sadist at all, but he was down to try to spank me a tiny bit.

When our leather crop arrived my eyebrows raised as I held it in my hands. I gave my palm a little pop. The crop smacked with a loud snap! but otherwise the sting was light. My kind of tool. There was a tangible level of nervousness between my husband and I, but also one of excitement. Completely nude, I bent over before him on the bed. His hand tenderly stroked my rump. “Are you ready?” he whispered and I gave him a nod. We both knew what the safe words were, just in case. The first lash came and I jumped, startled at the sting but it wasn’t too bad. Then came another one on the other cheek. I could feel my skin begin to warm. My lips parted as I exhaled hard. My mind began to shift into deep subspace. It stung but it also felt… good!

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“Are you–” my husband began. “Don’t stop!” I whimpered. He knew I needed more. I longed to be pushed harder. Without another moment of hesitation he whipped my ass several more times with a bit more intensity. I moaned in deep arousal. I felt his fingers trace over my slit, feeling my wetness. I heard him inhale deeply, realizing that the pain he was inflicting was causing me pleasure. “You little minx” he growled and began smacking my ass again… and again. I danced on the line of pain and pleasure, marveling at how much my body could withstand, and how dominated I felt in that moment. Finally, unable to take anymore I whimpered, “red” and he stopped immediately. In one swift movement he had me in his arms, spooning me from behind, as my breathing began to stabilize.

It was my only experience walking a mile in the shoes of a masochist. But damn, was it a very hot mile. πŸ™‚ For today’s post I asked you, my friends, on Twitter to give me your thoughts on S&M and how it makes you feel. Thankfully, fellow husband and wife bloggers, Kenneth Scott and Sweet BBW Sub, stepped up to share their thoughts. If you don’t follow them yet, please head over to their blog: 24/7 Players Lifestyle BlogΒ  and follow them on Twitter @philoveritas79 and @SweetBBWSub1. Alright, now let’s dive in. ❀

I. The Mind of a Sadist:Β 

Many people in the vanilla world wonder, “what on earth would make someone want to inflict pain on another person, much less their partner??”. They don’t get it. But today, fellow BDSM practitioner Kenneth Scott gives us some insight as to what he loves most about being a Sadist:

For me it’s all about the understanding that the pain I am inflicting is desired and appreciated by my partner, it’s even more interesting when we get switchy and I can see that my groans have a similar effect on her… of course my deeper thoughts on the subject are on my blog. – Kenneth Scott

So naturally I went to his blog. πŸ˜‰ Oh, the things I learned and discovered while reading post after post. My favorite of which is, “Daddy Philosophy: Dominate Yourself”. In reading through their blog I discovered something truly beautiful: the mind of a Sadist is most cultivated, and understanding when they are able to experience things as a masochist too. This is why I would encourage you to follow this switch couple. As switches, they both are deeply connected to one another. They flow seamlessly in their play sessions because they have experienced both sides of the pleasure-pain roles. As such, they know when to push their partner to their limit, and when to ease back a bit into tender-loving care. A sadist doesn’t simply thrive on giving pain. They thrive on inflicting pain knowing that it gives their partner deep pleasure. It’s simply another method in the bedroom that gives intense pleasure and orgasms (as you can read more about their delicious kinky-fuckery in their tweets! I love following them!).

II. The Mind of a Masochist:Β 

On the flip side of the coin is the masochist, or the person who gets pleasure from receiving pain. When asked what she enjoyed most about being a masochist, Sweet BBW Sub replied:

Pain = pleasure. Love the sound of an implement hitting my skin. The burn and tingling after impact is amazing. The anticipation of the next strike is a thrill. The quick burn of hot wax followed again by an orgasmic tingle. -Sweet BBW Sub

Masochists and Sadists have an intimate connection with each other that is separate and distinct from other forms of D/s. Due to their intense connection with inflicting and receiving pain and pleasure from one another, they form a bond as they watch each other grow in self-discovery. The masochist begins to learn to slowly take more pain among various types of implements, whereas the sadist learns every tick and quiver that their submissive makes. They understand each others bodies so intimately that it’s no surprise that people attracted to BDSM go flocking to try out S&M!

III. Implements for Impact Play:Β 

The tools used in S&M range far and wide from the materials they are crafted from, to the type of implement used in a play session. But here are just a handful of tools commonly seen among S&M couples:

  • Canes
  • Crops
  • Floggers
  • Whips
  • Chains
  • Paddles
  • Β Crops
  • Cattails
  • Leather belts
  • Hairbrushes
  • Double leather slappers

IV. R.A.C.K. and S.S.C.:Β 

No blog post on S&M would ever be complete without a section of safety, consent, aftercare, etc. If you’re unfamiliar with the acronyms, RACK and SSC, let’s get you well acquainted now.

R.A.C.K. = Risk Aware Consensual Kink

S.S.C. = Safe, Sane, and Consensual

It is commonplace for people involved in impact play to openly state that they follow the guidelines of RACK and SSC. (You only want to play with a partner who is well-versed in safety and consent of impact activities). Risk aware consensual kink is a guideline within the world of BDSM where an activity will fall under the notion that there is inherent risk involved in the kink. For example: punching is a part of impact play and would fall under R.A.C.K. because there is risk involved in this activity. However, all people involved are consenting to the kink prior to engaging in the activity.

Remember, consent is a must no matter what kind of sexual activity you’re doing!Β 

On the flip side of the coin is S.S.C. or safe, sane, and consensual. This is usually in contrast to R.A.C.K. because people who follow S.S.C. activities likely will only engage in a sexual activity if it is safe, sane, and consensual.

Alright that’s it from me for today, my friends. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know. And please hop over to 24/7 Players Lifestyle Blog and show them some love! Have a wonderful Tuesday and I will see you back here for the next post!

Much love,

~Kitten/Punkin Xx

8 comments

  1. Great article, I think you did a fair job of encapsulating the nuances of the s/m part of our relationship, I’ll take that to mean it was communicated effectively. I like your writing style, probably because it is similar to my own…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Daddy and i progressed from hand spanking to a leather belt only once. i loved the sound the leather made cracking against my ass. i was only able to tolerate 4 or 5 good spanks, but the adventure was fun and one i’d love to try again. i like the sound and the slight sting better than the pain. i hit subspace pretty quickly that way, too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oooo! That sounds absolutely thrilling hehe! I wonder what a leather belt would feel like across my own rump! Hmm. πŸ™‚ Do you think you’ll experiment more with impact play in the future? Thank you for sharing your experience, my friend! πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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