Good Morning Friends,
I woke up this morning to the sound of roosters. A thick blanket of marine layer hung in the air. I was home on the coast again. All last night I traveled home, away from my Daddy and shifted back into a long distance D/s relationship again. Daddy had to work yesterday, and for the first time that week a part of me was glad. Our sorrow felt tangible, and so him working and me busting out writing for you all kept us busy. It put a lid on what would have been a very sorrowful day. Instead, we decided to turn a negative into a positive. Finally, the hour had arrived. It was time to say goodbye… for now.
I sat on the bed and took a deep breath. We both looked mentally exhausted, but neither of us wanted to physically let go. I had given myself the mental pep talk of my life, to try and make it through the conversation without crying. Yeah, that didn’t work. I got a few words in, and tears started spilling down my cheeks. I choked and sobbed as Daddy cradled me close. I saw him wipe away tears trying to be strong for the both of us. “Punkin, listen to me” he said, tenderly touching my face, “this isn’t goodbye. It’s just so long… for now”. I nodded. I didn’t know how I was supposed to just return to my everyday life and press on when I had connected so deeply to this amazing human being. To my daddy! How was I supposed to just…. cope?
“I need you to do me a favor” he said, as if reading my mind. “Anything” I said, wiping my eyes. “I need you to be strong. I don’t want you getting stuck in the cycle of grief” he said quietly. He knows that I’m a deeply feeling person. I lead with my heart and trust my gut instincts. As such, he knew that if he didn’t task me with pressing on in a positive mindset… I would be missing him terribly for days to come. My heart squeezed. But, my Daddy commanded me to be positive. So, I will be positive. “Okay” I said taking a calming breath, “you have my word”.
And so, I’ve kept that word.
Today, I woke up and didn’t shed a tear. Instead, I grabbed my phone and texted my Daddy good morning. He’s traveling back East today, and so we’re staying in touch with every stop he makes on the way. It’s comforting. As I busied myself around the house, I felt different. My heart is full. Before our trip, I knew that I was connected to him. But since we spent a whole week together… things feel different. I’m different. I was worried that by returning to our long distance relationship that we would be “taking steps backward”.
But we haven’t. Not really. ❤
Instead, we will continue to move forward with pure, unconditional love and trust. We will text, video chat, and call each other daily. We will gush about our lives as we move through them. And as I live my life here, I will wait until the weather begins to turn cold. I will wait for the jingle of the holiday season to come, when all the world grows dark, and we make it bright. And then there, in the magic of the season… I will be with him once again. 🙂
Thank you all for your sweet messages of love and support for Daddy and I. If you haven’t already, please hop on over and hit that follow button on his blog, “The Wild Wood” to read about his experiences as a dominant. And I will see you back here for the next topic.