Good Afternoon Friends,
I turn to my blog once more baring my soul with transparency because… I know some of you out there have experienced this. Having an argument while being in a long distance relationship, in a word, SUCKS! What’s even more not fun about it, is living on a farm with zero cell reception?! *sighs* But, I want to take this negative, pour my guts out, and hopefully turn it to a positive somehow. So… here we go.
You know those Ddlg images where it asks: “Which one are you?” and then it lists down different styles of being a Little.
I’m a kitten.
Yes, I’m Punkin Pie to Daddy C because most of the time I’m sweet and mild-mannered. But when something really…. really… irritates me… the claws come out. And today was one of those rare mornings. Daddy and I had a miscommunication. I felt extraordinarily territorial over him, and it showed in my grumpy, snappy, (alright bitchy!), tone that I took with him. Couple that with playing, “Can you hear me now?!” as I stomped all over my house, and I was a mess.
We were a mess. And we were both hurt.
Sitting here, I began to reflect on the singular question: Why the heck do I get territorial?
I admit that I do. I know the feeling is there. But why? I could list the easy reasons, including:
- The relationship is still new.
- We just consummated our love over our vacation last week.
- Daddy is really, REALLY special to me in my life and I love him completely.
But, to be territorial also dictates a fault within myself, and something that I need to work on. You see, I had thought that I reached a point where I viewed relationships as free-flowing. I didn’t want to see my partner as “my property” or “mine”, but rather a human being who consciously makes a choice to be with me on the daily, as I do the same. But then this moment happened, and every cell in my body screamed: Uh, no. He’s MY DADDY! BACK! OFF!
So I’m sitting here scratching my afro and contemplating inwards. Is there some primal aspect of our DNA that makes us feel territorial over the ones we love the most? Is there a connection between us and other mammals who harbor a pack mentality and use it in their behavior? If so, then Daddy is in my Pack, and I will snarl at the first satellite female to try and flirt with him! RAWR!
Perhaps, this feeling stems from an insecurity of my own. I’m scared to lose Daddy because I’ve invested so much. We pour our souls into people in hopes of keeping them around forever. If I’m being radically honest, Daddy is a man who I want to keep around forever. I love him being in my life. I love being in his. I love the bond that we share, and how we push each other to grow. I love that he intellectually spars with me, and he is the perfect gentleman when we’re together. Well, a gentleman on the streets and a naughty dom behind closed doors. 😉 But I digress.
I know it’s natural to get territorial. But it still sucks when the feelings bubble up. It sucks to have miscommunication, and it REALLY sucks to have crappy cell reception while it’s all going down.
So… in the spirit of moving onward and upwards, if you’re ever in the same or similar situation as me. Here are a few tips I recommend:
- Apologize. Look, fighting blows. I haaaate to argue but sometimes it happens. Just own up to your shit. Apologize, and give forgiveness too. It’s not worth it to hold onto a grudge.
- Take a drink of water. Fighting is exhausting. Water helps. Trust me.
- Talk it out. Once you’re both cooled down, talk it out until you both are very clear and feeling centered again.
I’m not one to “turn tail and run” just because an argument happens. I’m way too stubborn for that ❤ . But we all have room for growth. This was simply my day for some more unexpected growth. I learned a valuable lesson today.
I love you, Daddy. And I apologize. ❤