Good Morning Friends,
A very Happy Thursday to you! How are you? Are you having a good day? Before we jump into today’s post, I wanted to thank you all for your love and support over the debacle with my cat, Cosmos. A quick update for you: Little Cosmos slept outside last night. We couldn’t bare to part with them, so we put a cardboard box with a fuzzy blanket on the back porch. During the day they hunt around the fields, and at night they curled up in the box. It isn’t my preference at all. But if there’s a will there’s a way! We purchased a heated outdoor cat house this morning off Amazon (which should arrive tomorrow) along with a cat bowl specifically designed to keep out ants. So Little Cosmos is still thriving and we get to enjoy her love and company. ❤
Now, today I’d like to focus on punishments because as submissives, we all need them. Just last night I made my own mishap and said a comment to Daddy C, reflecting my own insecurities. “What?! I should spank you for that comment” he texted back immediately. My princess parts quivered remembering just how hard Daddy can spank! Part of me was aroused, but deep down… I knew that it would be no “fun”ishment. He would give me a hard smack on the bottom to remind me to not be so critical on myself (or him!). I quickly apologized and the discussion moved on.
But it got me thinking about punishment in general.
As Littles, we have forms of punishment that are well known in the community. Some doms prefer OTK or over the knee spankings, while others incorporate “time out” or The Thought Spot. Others take away privileges, or remove special toys, while still others make their adult baby sit in a wet nappy! The punishment ranges far and wide, but today I wanted to zone in on Middles, and give alternative punishments for any Cg/l couple out there in need of some advice. Now, let’s dive in. 🙂
I. Writing a Letter of Apology or Lines:
When dealing with an adult Middle or a submissive who leans more towards an older regressed age, writing lines is a perfect punishment to do for an infraction. Not only do you get proof that they completed the punishment, but it will force them to think about their actions. A letter of apology works just as well. Have them compose the letter stating what they did wrong. Then, have them state why their actions violated the rules. Lastly, have them write an apology to you as their dominant, and assurance that they will not repeat their actions again. If the problem persists, writing lines works very well as an alternative punishment too. Have them pull out a notebook and write: I will not disobey mommy/daddy by <insert misbehavior>. Having to write that 100 times will certainly get their attention and force them to be quiet and meditate on their actions while doing so.
II. Taking Away Privileges:
This one is fairly easy to do, but the key is to follow through with the punishment fully. If your Middle likes to rock out to music, take away their playlists. Password protect their Apple Music account, or lock them out of the computer all together. I know one dominant who literally took his submissives phone away for three solid days, because she took a sneaky pic of his private parts and texted it to her friends (including me! Eep!). He found out and was livid, understandably so. So she lost her phone and the problem never happened again.
III. Spending Time in Silent Reflection:
Another effective punishment to use with your Middle is to force them to kneel at your side in silent reflection. There are many poses your submissive can sit, kneel, or lay in at your side as they fulfill their punishment. The goal is to have them reflect on their actions, so make sure you aren’t sitting there stroking their hair. (As much as you might want to! 😉 ). Let them be silent. Allow them time to think about their misbehavior. This will be beneficial for both you and them.
IV. Using Humiliation as Punishment:
There are some D/s couples who incorporate humiliation as a form of punishment. Some examples include: making your sub dress up in a ridiculous outfit and then taking them out for a walk in public, or having your sub wear a sign saying they misbehaved while walking around at the mall. Here’s my advice on using humiliation as a form of punishment: because humiliation can cause mental and emotional harm (and sometimes physical harm depending upon the action!), never make your sub do a humiliating task unless they have consented to humiliation as being part of your relationship to begin with! Your job as the dominant is to love, cherish, protect, guide, and nurture your submissive to the fullest. You cannot impose punishment in a way that is detrimental to the base foundation of your power dynamic. So as long as the humiliation punishment doesn’t harm your submissive in any way and you both are in agreement beforehand, then punish on! 😉
V. Orgasm Denial:
Sometimes correcting your Middle’s negative behavior can be as simple as denying them the right to orgasm. Take away all of their sex toys. Tie them up (with consent of course) and edge them for an extra dose of punishment. But right as they are pleading to cum… don’t allow them to do so. That let down in the inability for release can feel horrible! It certainly doesn’t have any physical harm on the sub by refusing to let them orgasm, but mentally they will remember the moment and not want to repeat the infraction again!
Only you as the dominant, knows what form of punishment works best for your sub. Only you know what their “buttons” are that can build them up, or break them down. Assert your power with caution and from a place of love. Never punish when you’re angry. Think twice before you implement any punishment to ensure that your actions won’t hurt your little one in any way. And remember to give your sub plenty of love afterwards. Your submissive wants to please you 99% of the time. But we all mess up! We’re only human, so remember to remind them that you’re there, you love them, and everything is okay, after they complete their act of contrition.
Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. If you enjoyed it, hit that like button and let me know. Smash that follow button if you’re new around here to get the latest updates on everything BDSM and DDLG, and I will see you back here for the next topic!