Good Afternoon My Friends,
I come to you today from a space of love and compassion. Today, I’m doing another spotlight interview, but I’m asking all 232 of you, my beautiful friends and readers, to take a moment with me before we dive into this interview. I want you to really learn about adult babies today. We’ve all heard facts, seen photos, or met an A.B. at an event. But today we are diving into the psychology behind A.B.D.L. We are shifting into a vulnerable space where people often judge, mistreat, and even resent adult baby regressors in our community because they don’t understand. I am asking you… no… I’m pleading with you… to take a moment to try and understand the mind of an adult baby.
Before we begin today’s post, I would like you to click away from my blog. Yes, do it! Click on this article titled, “My Little Space” written by today’s spotlight interview, Baby Marty. I want you to read this short blog post to understand his background, and to gain greater compassion for our new friend. Are you ready? Then, go read his post, and don’t forget to smash that follow button and show him some love! ❤
Now, that you’ve read Baby Marty’s history, you can understand why I felt so compelled, so moved, and honored that he granted me the ability to ask him any question I wanted about his lifestyle as an A.B.D.L. Marty, you are a wonderful human being, friend, and I feel honored to have you in this space with all of us. Thank you for opening all of our eyes to teach us more about being an adult baby. Now, without further delay, let’s dive into the interview.
- The Name You Prefer to Be Called: Marty or Baby Marty
- Age: 60
- Your Blog Name: Duluth Diapers
- How long have you been an ABDL? 54 years, or more, depending upon how you measure it.
- Do you currently have a Caregiver? No
- Do you practice any other forms of BDSM? No
Question #1: When did you first discover that you wanted to wear diapers? Was there one pivotal moment that made you realize that you wanted to be diapered?
Yes, I was 6 years old when I first knew. The pivotal moment came when I was 6 years old and happened at a friend’s house. We were in his living room playing with our toy Tonka trucks, when I heard his Mom, in a playful, motherly voice, say, “Uh, oh, I think somebody’s busy pooping their pants.” At that moment, I looked up and his Mom was smiling a motherly smile, and his baby brother, who was about a year old, was standing next to the coffee table, near the sofa, with a bright red face, and grunting his breakfast into the seat of his pants.
At that moment, I wanted to be back in diapers, and I wanted to be that baby in the living room pooping his pants for his loving Mommy. After he was through, his Mom acted so happy to change a poopy diaper, and I watched the whole diaper change in the living room. I watched her wipe his poopy bottom and powder him with baby powder. I remember the whole living room smelled like poop and baby powder. It was intoxicating. I felt weak in the knees and my heart was racing. It was the most loving diaper change I had ever seen. At that moment, at the age of 6, I knew that I wanted to be a baby again in diapers and rubber pants.
Question #2: I know that there are adult babies who diaper for various reasons (kink as well as non-sexual reasons). Would you mind sharing your reason as to why you enjoy the feeling of being diapered?
This is a difficult question to answer. It’s complicated, like many other aspects of my life. But here goes. For me, diapers, specifically, cloth diapers, rubber pants and diaper pins, are like a “time machine” taking me back to when I was a baby. Our minds record and store information and experiences; even if we don’t consciously remember them. When I diaper myself, especially if I dirty them, they take me back to infancy and toddlerhood because my human mind “remembers” the sensation of being in diapers and rubber pants full-time for the first 2 years of my life, and the next 2 to 3 years when my mom kept putting me back in diapers for pooping my pants. (I was in diapers until the age of 5)
Being back in diapers and rubber pants isn’t just “time travel” or a “trip down memory lane” they are in fact a refuge of safety and security. When I’m in diapers again, I feel safe and secure, and like nothing can come and hurt me. Diapers and regression fantasies are an escape into a world where there is no pain, violence or horror: 3 things I am very familiar with in my 60 years on this planet.
Now, about the “kink” or “fetish” aspect of this “thing” I have lived with all of my life. There are “feelings” associated with wearing and using diapers: I won’t deny that. It’s not “sexual” exactly, as most people understand the term. It is difficult to put into words. For everyone it’s a different “thing.” I guess I have always bristled at the idea that these feelings are a “fetish” or a “kink” or even “purent” in a sexual way. The best way I can explain it is this:
When I was 6, and I knew who and what I was, I began stealing diapers off of clotheslines and out of diaper bags. I was 6, 7, 8. 9 etc. and stuffing cloth diapers down my underwear and powdering my own bottom with baby powder: Was that sexual? Was that Kink? Was that a sexual fetish? I think not. How can a little boy feel those feelings at the age of 6? I was feeling something: but what was it? Honestly, I have no idea. I just remember, being 6 and 7, laying in my bed, feeling the diaper against my skin and fantasizing about being a 9 to 12 month-old baby in diapers pooping my pants for Mommy. I vividly remember when I was a little boy, hanging around Mommies at church or somewhere else, and enjoying watching them change poopy diapers. Was I, at the age of 7 or 8, “getting off” on it? Again, I think not. But something was at work within me.
When other little boys my age were playing outside, I was inside, watching mommies wipe and powder poopy bottoms. When I was barely out of diapers myself, I never missed an opportunity to watch a loving mommy change her stinky baby. My favorite part was when the Mom wrinkled her nose and “Shoooo!” as she wiped the poopy bottom. It was these real-life scenes that fueled my Mommy/Baby fantasies.
Question #3: How has your past shaped your physical Little Space today? Do you have a nursery in your home? What kinds of things do you incorporate into your life to make space to regress?
My past is one of violence and horror, so my Little Space is about as far away as one can get from that. My Little Space is filled with sweet, wholesome goodness and motherly love: the opposite of what I grew up with under my sociopathic mother and evil step-father.
A nursery? Yes, at one time I had converted my small studio in Minneapolis into a baby’s nursery. Now? No, not really. I have some baby items but not a full nursery like I used to have. Why? Well, because I moved at one point back to Phoenix and sold and left a lot behind. A few years ago, in a dispute with a landlord, she had entered my apartment and took lots of photos of my diapers and baby things and tried to blackmail me. I called her bluff, and she emailed these pictures to about 10 of my bosses and coworkers at my company, telling them that I was a “pervert” who wore diapers and pooped my pants. I had to leave one of the best jobs I ever had. I couldn’t even face any of my bosses or coworkers. Maybe someday I will have another nursery, but until then I just incorporate diapers and baby items.
One of the things I use to regress to Little Space is Phone Mommies. I have been calling Phone Mommies now for about 25 years. They are “pay to play” phone Mommies who “Baby-Talk” to me in a sweet, motherly voice talking to me about pooping my pants. Recently, I found an amazing Phone Mommy who does an amazing job at babying me. In fact, I can’t begin to express how important it is to talk to a Mommy a REAL Mommy who understand your need to be in diapers. We all need someone to talk to, and who better than a Mommy?
Current Lifestyle Questions:
Question #1: I absolutely love your blog! What inspired your blog name and are those real baby pictures of you?
Thank you for your kind words. I am thrilled that you like it.
The name? Duluth Diapers? My blog went through several name changes until I settled upon Duluth diapers. The reason is this: I fell in love with Duluth, Minnesota, which is a town of about 86,000 on the shores of Lake Superior in the far North of Minnesota, about a 2 hour drive from where I live. I chose “Duluth Diapers” because 1. The climate, topography, and scenery is 180 degrees from where I grew up, which are the deserts in and around Phoenix, Arizona. 2. Duluth always struck me as a “1950s kinda town” with a 1950s wholesomeness of the mostly Swedish, German, and Polish descendants who live there.
In my fantasies I often see myself as a baby in Duluth, Minnesota in the 1950s with a curvy, pretty German-Swedish buxom Mommy. Being a baby in diapers in a loving, wholesome home in Duluth, Minnesota is a far cry from my real infancy in Phoenix, Arizona. Again, it is 180 degrees of separation.
No, those are not pictures of me as a baby. They are real pictures of real babies, and I try to select those who closely resemble me (I’m Swedish-German) in the time frame of 1949-1964 which is what I call “The Cloth Diaper Era.” The baby pictures are an attempt at remembering history (when babies were diapered with cloth diapers, diaper pins, and rubber pants) and evoking a feeling of wholesome nostalgia. It is worth noting that ALL of the babies on my blog were in diapers at a time when America was a much different place. In the 1950s, and early 1960s, there was very little crime, US Presidents could spell and speak coherent sentences, and there was a sense of togetherness that no longer exists. FYI, 80% of the baby pictures on my blog were purchased from a company called “Alamy” and legal for personal use, as long as I don’t sell them. The other baby pictures I found on the internet under the “fair use doctrine” and they have no copyright.
Question #2: What would you say is the most common misconception that people (kinksters and otherwise) mistake about the ABDL Community?
There are 2 misconceptions as I see it.
- “Kinksters” I believe assume that ABDL is “just another kink” and that you can “decide” to become an ABDL if you are “open minded.” I think this is a complete misunderstanding of this need that we have to wear diapers and regress. Being an ABDL is not a form of “foreplay” or a “costume party.” In general one doesn’t “chose” needs: one either has them, or they don’t. I once knew this woman who wanted to “try the ABDL lifestyle.” She bought diapers, came back and told me, “Hey, I didn’t feel anything. I don’t get it. I put on the diaper and nothing happened. What’s the trick?” The trick? There is no “trick.” You either have an insatiable non-stop hunger to be a baby again, in diapers, pooping your pants for Mommy; or you don’t. You either dream about it, or you don’t. You either get weak in the knees and get butterflies in your tummy when you hear a mom say, “Shooo! Somebody pooped their pants” or you don’t.
- For the general public, the most common misconception, which is a dangerous one, is this mythical, paranoid terror that ABDLs are all closet pedophiles seeking to harm children. In fact, there is no such thing as a pedophile who wears diapers and dirites his pants. There have never been any documented cases of ABDLs charged and convicted with harming children. Never. Ever. Yet, this mythical “link” exists in the paranoid minds of many. But in my experience, when I have really asked people detailed questions about their “suspicions” about the ABDL community, what really comes across is not a fear of us harming children, but a deep-seated revulsion and disgust at a grown man diapering himself and pooping his pants. Anyone who attempts to form a “link” between the ABDL community and pedophiles has to make huge leaps in logic and reason, ignore mountains of evidence in actual criminal cases, and purposely ignore one basic fact: ABDLs want to BE the baby. We wish to return to a world of motherly love and innocence. I would say that for 80 to 90% percent of us, this is NOT sexual as most people understand the term. And outside of our mommies (or daddies) no one else is involved in our Little Space regression. ABDL parties and get togethers are not “orgies” of debauchery and hedonism. Regression and Little Space play is probably the most wholesome of “adult” activities you can find.
Question #3: What are the ways in which people can be more supportive of an A.B. friend in their life?
Put yourself in their place. “Walk a mile in their shoes.” Try to understand that the need to wear diapers is just that: a need. That this need, this desire to regress back to infancy is a self-comforting mechanism. No person should ever tell another person, “You don’t need that.” Really? How on Earth could one person ever determine what another person needs? A good cry, a laugh, a vacation, a therapist, a drug, a hug, a powdered bottom, a soft comfy diaper: We all NEED something to sooth the pain and heartache of this life.
Question #4: What are your favorite brands of adult diapers to use? What do you recommend?
Well, because I come from the cloth diaper era (I was born in 1959), I tend to use cloth diapers and plastic baby pants exclusively. Occasionally I have used disposables for messing and convenience, but for the most part, I don’t like disposable diapers. For a “brand” of cloth diapers I really like “Purity” which are made to be exact copies of “Curity” brand which 99% of moms in the 1950s used on their babies. You can buy Purity Cloth diapers from www.AdultClothDiaper.com
Another diaper I love is a high-quality cloth diaper from “Changing Times Diaper Company” www.changingtimesdiaperco.com which has a storefront and internet business in Las Vegas, NV. These diapers are heavy-duty 100% cotton twill fabric that are “Diaper Service Quality” (DSQ) that real baby diaper services use in the US in 2019. I love them, especially the pretty blue stitching that runs along the edges.
Over the years my choices of cloth diapers and rubber pants have diminished over time. Once, back in the 1990s, there was a company that made exact copies of Gerber Plastic Baby Pants using the same plastic that Gerber did. Sadly, they went out of business and you can no longer buy them. But there are still some great diapers and plastic pants out there you just have to look for them.
Question #5: Every age regressor generally has a routine that they do to slip into little space or their “little me”. What are some things you do to get into the head-space?
Lay out my cloth diapers, like I used to watch mommies do in the 1960s. Powder my bottom with baby powder, diaper myself, pull on the rubber pants over the cloth diapers, put on a baby outfit, snuggle with a teddy bear, suck on a pacifier or bottle, call a phone mommy and talk to her about what I like to do in my pants. Listen to an audio recording that a mommy has made me, using a “script” or story I have written to her. Write. Write stories and fantasies about being a baby in diapers in the care of a mommy who loves me. The sent of Baby Powder is a powerful “regressor” for me. I associate it’s sweet, babyish scent with diapers and mommies.
Question #6: Do you network with other adult babies in your area, or attend any ABDL events?
No, not really. In the past I have had in-person, real-life friendships with ABDLs and their mommies, as well as long-distance “pen-pal” type of friendships. I have never been to an ABDL party or get together, but my late friend William Windsor “Heidi Lynn” (died in 2009) and I used to go out to eat or shopping with him/her dressed as a baby girl. But that’s about the extent of my contact with other ABDLs.
(Note: To honor William’s memory and Marty’s friendship with them, here is a video of William Windsor “Heidi Lynn” from an interview that the local news did when they saw her walking down the street in A.B.D.L. attire. )
Question #7: What advice would you give to another adult baby who is just beginning to explore that part of themselves or just getting into the lifestyle?
Do not deceive yourself due to feelings of guilt, shame, or disgust at who and what you are. There is no cure or “treatment” for this. Getting rid of your diapers and baby clothes (called “purging”) never works and the “cycle” just repeats itself. I should know: I have done it a 1,000 time since I was a little boy.
I have been in diapers for most of my life. I have been this way since the age of 6 years old, there is no “cure.” Our brains, for whatever reason, were changed and altered at a very young age. Our need to regress and be in diapers will never go away because our neural pathways were “remapped” to point us in the direction of diapers and regression to find connections with love and intimacy. Instead of pointing, or orienting us “forward” toward a normal, healthy relationship (whatever that is) our brains that have been remapped or reconfigured to point us “backward”: toward the diapers we left behind when our Mothers potty-trained us.
But we didn’t just leave behind diapers and going to the bathroom in our pants behind us when our Mothers potty-trained us. We also left behind a closeness, an intimacy between ourselves and our Mothers (or Fathers) that the “Big Boy” or Big Girl” world has nothing like it to match it. Think about it. No matter how close you are to your wife/husband, boyfriend, lover, etc., have they ever “kissed away your boo-boo” when you were in pain, or were sick, or needed comfort? Our Mothers (or Fathers) stopped doing that for the most part when we were out of diapers. That “dividing line” between being “in diapers” or “out of diapers” is huge; for us and our parents. Moms and dads usually begin to put distance between themselves and their child once the child is out of diapers. Not as many kisses, not as many hugs, no more holding hands with Mommy or Daddy when we are “big boys and big girls.” We are on our way to independence, and something very special and very intimate is lost in the processes of “potty-training.”
I would advise, to those young ABDLs who are just coming to grips with their desire to go back to a world of diapers, I would say; love yourself. “Mother” yourself. Try to imagine the most loving Mommy (or daddy) that you can, and use that part of you to give yourself what you need. Do you need to wear diapers for a while and regress back to infancy? Mommy (or daddy) understands this. Mommy (or daddy) wants you to take care of yourself; just as if you really were a little one in diapers. Too often, as ABDLs grapple with these feelings, we are driven to numb ourselves with drugs, alcohol, or food. Don’t; resist the urge to numb or destroy the baby that is within you and is a vital part of you. What would a loving Mommy (or daddy) want you to do? That is one of the keys to self-acceptance. Mother yourself. Accept yourself. Love the baby within you.