BDSM & Christianity, Part 8: Using Proverbs 31 to be a Better Submissive

Good Afternoon Friends,

The house is warm but my heart is full. It’s nearly the lunch hour and my husband is on his way home for a quick lunch break. A pan of chicken and vegetable casserole waits for him. Today, I’m slowing down my day to share with you a more mature side of my submission, and that is domestic service. As a Christian, Proverbs 31 is the “bar” that every woman strives to reach. Today I want to break down Proverbs 31 into chunks, and explain to you how I use it as my “standard” for being submissive in the home, and in my relationships. Are you ready? Then, let’s dive in. 🙂

proverbs-31-10-desk

I. Being Trustworthy: 

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm all the days of his life. (Proverbs 31: 10-12)

So, for those new to my blog, here is a little background for you. I am a “hybrid Little”. Part of me regresses into adult Little space while the other part of me gravitates more towards consensual slavery/domestic servant. As such, I have two very wonderful dominants in my life. I am married to Captain Taliron Quinn, and I have a beautiful partnership with Daddy Cernnunos. Both men fulfill my submission completely and make me feel whole. Part of being a submissive, is learning to be there for your dominants emotional needs. They need to know that they can trust you with their emotions, and that you will care for them. It is an honor to sit and actively listen to my doms as they vent. I keep an emotional pulse on them daily, and if I feel like something is off, I will simply ask, “Hey, are you alright? I’m here for you”. Time and time again, I’ve shown that they can confide in me without me sharing their secrets. Having very strong trust strengthens our D/s bond infinitely.

One of my strategies that I use to communicate with my dominants is compassionate communication. This requires the person to practice active and empathetic listening. In other words, I’m silent and listening keenly to my partner. I’m tuning into their emotions and empathizing with their feelings to see things from their perspective and why they feel the way they do. I ask questions (as needed) to let them know that I’m hearing every word they say. I’ve found that this peaceful approach is effective in cultivating deep trust, understanding, and love between my connections.

II. Staying Busy Around the Home: 

I learned from an early age that “idle hands make the Devil’s work”. As such, I try to stay busy. As a homemaker and a homeschooling mom, I stay extremely busy. I cook three meals a day. I take on most of the domestic duties. For me, one of the biggest expressions of love and submission is in my cooking. I believe that cooking is an expression of love. You take time and care into each dish. You cook meals that you know your loved ones will enjoy. When I’m with Daddy C, I try and ask him, “Can I get you anything to eat or drink?” often. When I’m with Cappy, I prepare meals that I know he will enjoy. Submitting to them with the use of my hands and skills is just one more way that I fall into my role, and nourish the ones I love.

Now, I’d like to pause here and say that I’m also raising my daughter to be submissive. I’ve gotten some harsh criticism in the past from family members before when they asked my daughter, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”. “A chef!” my daughter said, “until I’m married. Then I’ll stay home and take care of my family”. Some of the liberal feminists in my family balked at the idea of my daughter having a traditional gender role. But for me, as a Christian woman, it feels natural to serve in and around the home. I would rather have less money and a happy home, than more money to travel around the world, etc. but not be home often. It’s just a matter of personal choice.

III. Being Modest and Kind: 

When she speaks, her words are wise. She gives instructions with kindness. She watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her, and her husband praises her: There are many virtuous and capable women in the world but you surpass them all! (Proverbs 31: 26-29)

Though I write for the Cg/l Community, don’t expect to see any naked pictures of me any time soon (lol). Another value that I live by is modesty. Do I wear a nun’s outfit everyday? No. But, I don’t walk around in a bikini at the beach either. I cover up the parts of my body that are reserved for the men in my life. I don’t wear clothing that draws too much attention, and I take care to keep a light jacket with me if I’m in a place where I need to cover up even more so at a moments notice. I believe there is beauty in being modest. I wear modest clothing because it is a form of respect as a submissive. If I were to flash my body to the internet… what does that say about the value that I place on myself, or the value that I have on my D/s relationship?

The Proverbs 31 woman is also kind. She speaks with wisdom and her husband and children praise her name. Well, I don’t know if anyone is walking around praising my name, but I’d like to think that I try to be kind. 🙂 I treat people the way I want to be treated. Though I’m a Christian, I don’t attend church. I call myself “The Liberal Christian” because I’m a proud ally of the LGBTQI+ community. I also love to study Buddhism and other eastern philosophies. I love diving into the Bible and pulling parts of it that fit into my life, and leaving the rest. For many Christians, I know my way of life would completely conflict with their practices, and that’s fine. To each their own. Live and let live. I simply choose to be kind, stay humble, and live from a place of love.

IV. If You Build It, They Will Come: 

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. (Proverbs 31:30-31)

The last part of my submission is here on my blog. I don’t write for money. I don’t publish books for money. I will never be a Cg/l author driven by profit. Last night I sat at the computer for hours uploading and publishing my latest book to Amazon. When it came to price it, they wanted an astronomical amount for the price of the book, because I wanted it in color. “No way!” I blurted out, “I’m not having my readers pay that?!”. So, I switched the whole book to black and white. The cost came down. I marked down the price to $9.99. My total royalty per book will be 73 cents. Do I care? No. Why? Because I’m not doing it for the money. I’m doing it for the legacy. I want to pave a path for other Littles to learn, grow, thrive, and excel in the future. I want this blog to be a place of reference for people to come and soak up ideas to take back into their own lives. If I’ve achieved that much, then that’s good enough for me. 🙂

And so I will continue to hammer away, like Noah building his ark. I will slowly build this site each and every day, producing content for the community to enjoy. It is my greatest joy that you all find something that enriches you.

Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post, if you liked it hit that like button and let me know. If you’re new here, smash that follow button to follow along and stay up to date on the latest posts about all things Cg/l and BDSM, and I will see you back here for the next topic!

Much love,

~Kitten/Punkin Xx

9 comments

  1. Such a beautiful post, Kitten! I feel that I truly live a blessed life with you. Being part of the lifestyle, it’s easy to think “What’s the point?” of adhering to such values shown in the Bible. But I think, there’s a happy medium to be found. I believe you embody the true spirit of a Proverbs 31 wife. I’ve seen it for the 7 beautiful years we’ve spent together and still see it to this day. Also, I’m proud of you for finishing the third book and not doing it for the money. It never was about that. It’s all part of your service-oriented heart and we all benefit from it. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have to be honest. Reading this is difficult for me. I am a hard core atheist after years of being forced to follow a church I didn’t believe in and shamed for not following suit. There is another level, which is that my mom hated this particular passage and believed it was antiquated and wrong. I will forever be tainted when it comes to Christianity and more so when we speak of using Christianity to support BDSM. WITH THAT SAID… you did a nice job of explaining how you feel about it and how you practice it. I like and respect you very much! Thank you for opening yourself up and sharing a deeper part of yourself. ♥ Jodie

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I completely understand, Jodie ❤ I've had some really rough experiences in churches too. In fact, I don't go to church at all, mostly because every church I've ever been to has been people acting one way, and preaching another. Or the sermons are so depressing that it clouded my view of the core values of Christianity. It took me years and years to finally find my own "super liberal" version of beliefs away from a church to simply live and let live. I take what I like from the Bible and leave the rest. So, trust me my friend, I completely understand and respect your view too ❤ *big hugs*

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow! I love your writing! The fact that you practice submission and approach it from a Biblical view is awesome. You are correct, many people misunderstand Biblical Submission. I think a marriage is almost like a ship at sea. Can everyone “Captain” a ship? Is everyone’s opinion on avoiding an iceberg equally valid? The truth of our existence is that someone must lead, and others follow. If everyone wants to be the captain or leader, all you get is non-stop conflict. Leaders have huge egos; that’s why they want to be leaders. And if everyone just wants to “follow” then nothing gets done. There might be no conflict with everyone following/submitting but no hard decisions will never be made. Dominance and submission is as old as time itself, but only in our age, do people bristle at the idea of “submitting” to a life partner. Ancient Israelites, Greeks, Romans, Egyptians, etc., would all find our society odd for challenging the idea of submitting to a dominate partner or leader.

    Great Blog post Penny! I’m going to reblog it on my blog.
    Thank you!
    HUGS! XX

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awww thank you, Marty!! Your comment completely made my night. You’re absolutely right. In many ancient cultures across the world (and even in many cultures in modern society today) the concept of one partner yielding to another isn’t that foreign of an idea. It’s really only in Western culture where the rise of feminism has occurred that people bristle at the notion of traditional roles in a relationship. Thank you for reblogging this post. That means so much! *HUGS*! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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