Good Evening Friends,
I’m a bit behind on my posts for the day. My apologies on that. I want to come here to decompress. I need to decompress. My thoughts feel jumbled, and so tonight I sit here with my giant ball of tangled yarn pulling string by string at a time. Okay, here’s a thought I had this evening (unrelated to this post’s topic but I just had to ask):
You know how Sia has that song, “Chandelier”? And in the lyrics she sings, “I…. wanna swing…. from the chandelier… the chandelier!”. Do you think Sia is a secret kinkster?! Think about it for a moment. There’s some wild, impact play that happens in suspension. And, Sia hates to show her face in general. Do you think that deep down she is as kinky as the rest of us??? *Mind blown*!
Okay, now that I got that random thought out of my head, let’s jump into tonight’s topic: vanilla peeps. I was sitting with my husband chatting about vanilla people. We were talking about people we knew when in passing I said, “you know they are doing it missionary”. Now, in context, I was just making a joke between my husband and I to make him crack up… which he did. But suddenly I caught myself in the moment and began to think about how, in general, us kinky people discuss vanilla people in a “we” versus “them” type of situation. I’m guilty of it too.
The thought began to eat at my brain. Is it wrong to be vanilla???
I’ve always been the type of person to fight for the underdog. I stand up when someone is being bullied. I say what I feel is right. But suddenly, in that moment I felt like a person judging vanilla people! So, I came here to clear the air. Once upon a time before we were all into BDSM… we, too, were vanilla people. A 19 year old version of me once gasped, turning 50 shades of red when I saw a penis for the first time. (True story). I was vanilla. I knew nothing beyond missionary and doggy. (And let me be clear: those sex positions are still quite wonderful!). And while I have evolved in my sexual journey, I never want to be the person judging another for being vanilla.
If you want to do missionary because it feels right with you, do it. If you think that BDSM and Cg/l is so outside of the box that we are a bunch of “nutters”. Well, that’s fine too. Generally speaking, I’m a live and let live kind of girl. You do you, and I’ll do me. And if we can mingle together, awesome.
Tonight was a wake up call for me.
Do we need to have so much division between us and the rest of society? Do we need to label people as “vanilla” or “kinky”? Certainly labels give comfort in our minds as to how to identify people. But, instead of creating division among people I propose that we turn towards the idea of inclusion. What if there was a person out there who only knew about sex from a procreation standpoint, but who wanted to explore more about sex for recreational and pleasurable purposes? We would welcome them, right? It doesn’t matter if you’re vanilla or swinging from the rafters like Rocky Road Ice Cream. Be yourself. Enjoy sexual expression with your partner. Sex is beautiful, and such a deep expression of love.
So, maybe we can all grow a bit and decide to drop the use of labels and embrace people as… people. 🙂 We’re one humanity. A beautiful array of different souls existing on the same planet. (I think my hippie side is showing right now lol).
Anyway, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know. Smash that follow button if you’re new around here, and I will see you back here for the next topic!