The Buddy System [Reflections]

Good Morning Friends,

Happy Hump Day to all you sexy peeps! I hope you’re having a lovely day. Today I want to talk about “The Buddy System”. When we’re in primary school, teachers tell us to pick a buddy in our class. Our buddy is responsible for making sure we don’t forget our backpack. When we’re very little, we hold our buddy’s hand as we walk down the hallway. (Secretly I think it’s to keep our little bodies in check from squirming too much out of line). But we follow the rules because we don’t want to disappoint our buddy. They need us as much as we need them.

But then we grow. We become adults and for many, this means losing our buddy.

Today I want to talk about the importance of having someone in your life who truly has your back. Someone who you can talk to. Be real with. And who gets your soul. Are you ready to explore this with me? Then, let’s dive in.

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I. The Importance of Having Someone: 

I can attest that it’s difficult to make friends when you’re an adult. Whether you move around often in your adult life, you’re an introvert, or you’re dealing with external stress, there are plenty of reasons why adults can move through life without having a support system in place. Sure, our parents and family are nice, but everybody needs somebody that they can talk to on a real level. I was reminded of the importance of this when, for the past few days, I was struggling mentally. Things began to feel overwhelming. My mood dipped a bit. So, I came to Daddy C and I poured out my guts. (Note: Your buddy doesn’t have to be your D/s partner, just pick someone you feel 110% comfortable with). So he and I spoke at length over the phone. He let me gush and get everything off of my chest. In the end I felt centered, grounded, and able to focus again. Which leads me to the next important point…

II. Learning to Open Up: 

One of my biggest weaknesses is that by nature I like to take care of people so much that I sometimes forget to take care of myself. I hold my tongue well, and can roll with the punches in life. But, when things bother me, sometimes I’ll hold in those thoughts and feelings for days before I suddenly blurt out, “hey! You know three days ago when you said blah blah blah? Yeah, well, I didn’t like that!”. It’s a behavior that I’m working to change. If you’re like me and you struggle to open up… you need a buddy who isn’t afraid to push your boundaries. Choose someone who is observant and can pick up on the language you use to know when you’re feeling “off”. Choose a buddy who isn’t afraid to push you a bit to open up. It’s for your own good to get those feelings off of your chest. Daddy C knew that my husband was out of town. I was on my own with all these raging emotions and I needed him to just sit and listen. So he did, and once it was all out I felt loads better.

III. Pick a Buddy Who Will Keep You in Check: 

This is perhaps the most important characteristic when it comes to choosing a person to be your buddy. You need someone who can be brutally honest with you. I don’t want my person to sugar coat things with me. I want someone who can get up in my face, be super blunt, and keep it real with me because they see something that perhaps I don’t. I want my buddy to have my health and welfare at the top of their priorities when they bring something to my attention. Look at the people closest to you in life. Do you have someone who will tell you when you’re about to do something really stupid? If not, find someone! You want those closest to you to be willing to keep you in check. Surround yourself with positive influences, and people who uplift you. I once heard a great quote that said: if someone is in your life, but they aren’t there for a purpose, then why are they there to begin with?

IV. Pick Someone Who is Non-Judgmental: 

The last point I’d like to mention is your buddy being non-judgmental. I’m going to use Daddy C and I as an example here, because it’s the perfect example of how two seemingly different people who (on paper) shouldn’t work… but we actually work very, very well together. Daddy C is a Republican. I am a Democrat. Daddy C is conservative. I am liberal. Daddy C lives in the South. I live on the West Coast. He comes from a military background. My parents were hippies. On paper, we shouldn’t work at all. But he and I have extremely open minds. We’re cultured and we love to read. Our life experiences are such that we embrace our differences and love each other for them. It makes for great intellectual conversations!

You want your buddy to be someone who isn’t going to judge you for your differences. You don’t need to be the same. You don’t have to have the same preferences in things, tastes, kinks, etc. But you do need someone who is supportive of you as a person. You want them to be your biggest cheerleader. Because even as adults…. we still need someone to hold our hand and walk down the hallway of life with us.

Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know. Smash that follow button if you’re new around here. And I will see you back here for the next topic!

Much love,

~Kitten/Punkin xx

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