Good Afternoon Friends,
I have been quietly working on this interview for a couple of weeks with bated anticipation. After a friend of mine hooked me up with a real phone mommy, I rubbed my hands together in excitement and curiosity! How many people have spoken to a person who gets paid for phone sex?! Me either!! I just had to meet this wonderful woman. After compiling my list of questions I waited in response for her answers. What came next blew me away. This is why I love doing spotlight interviews. We’re all so different. Our reasons for living the way we do are so fascinating. People are so intriguing, and Dawn is no different!
When I approached this interview the obvious questions came to mind first: how does one get into the phone sex industry? Why would someone do that? Are you on call 24/7 or do you have shifts? Can you lounge around in your pajamas talking to clients or do you work at a phone sex call center? (Hey! I’m super naive to these things! lol). Dawn was incredibly kind and thorough in answering my questions and explaining so much more about her business as an independent fetish consultant.
What I learned from this interview is that there is so much more than what meets the eye. Society has preconceived notions about the sex industry. But Dawn actually has a BA in psychology that helps her uplift and nurture her clients with deep knowledge and understanding. Most of her clients are long term regulars who she has established relationships with. The work she does helps people release sexual frustration and gives them an emotional connection that they can’t find otherwise in their personal life. Now, I’m going to zip my lips and let you dive into this interview as you get to meet Dawn, a real-life phone fetish consultant and a down to earth, hard-working woman. ❤ Are you ready? Then, let’s dive in!
- The Name You Prefer to Be Called: Dawn
- Age: 47
- Occupation Title That You Prefer: Independent Fetish Consultant 😊
- The Website Where Potential New Clients Can Reach You: For now it’s www.onegirlandaphone.com but I am making a new site for the ABDL community and hope to have that up and running soon.
Question #1: Thank you for allowing me to interview you! How did you come to work in the industry as a “Phone Mommy”?
This was a career by accident. Back in 2006 I hit a bump in the road financially and my husband at the time said I should try Phone Sex. I thought it was ludicrous, but I signed up to work for a small company. My career took off almost immediately.
About 3 years into my first contracting gig, the company I was working for starting to offer ABDL/Diaper and sissy services. I was naturally drawn to this specific type of caller because I am a nurturing person and a pure empath.
When I changed companies (something I have only done 2x before opening my own) I went under another name, but soon found that I had quite a following as an ABDL mommy with that company too. This company, however, did not specifically promote the ABDL fetish so I was resigned to getting a few babies and diaper lovers here and there. Some of them followed me to my new company which I incorporated in 2017 and then officially opened for calls in the Winter of 2018.
Question #2: How long have you been working in the industry?
About 13 years give or take. I had a period of time during which I did not actively take calls. I did however have a couple of ABDL/fetish clients that I cared for solo through private arrangement.
Question #3: What types of protections, rules, safeguards did you need to put in place to protect yourself as you got into the phone sex industry?
I am still learning this one. To be honest, the first protection/safeguard has to do with the images I use to promote myself. I do not use my real image. This may seem like career suicide, but stick with me for a minute.
I feel that to use my real image would not only put me at risk, but my family. The negative stigma associated with this work requires me to be protective of my family first. Over the years, I have allowed certain clients to see the real me after they have proven themselves trustworthy. I use a toll free number and a prepaid cell phone to allow customers to text me.
Recently, as a result of forming an LLC, I found that my physical home address showed on various predatory websites offering “listings” for free. Because of the nature of my work, I need to stay on top of those sorts of things and have my company removed from such websites. In reality, I know nothing is 100% safe. The best thing I do to protect myself is vet my callers well. I cater to a variety of people.
I also know that even though the Internet is a big platform, the phone sex industry is a small world. Most of the men I have formed relationships with call other women in the industry. Sometimes, they do stir up crap among the girls trying to make us jealous of each other. That’s one of the reasons I really love my ABies—they don’t do Mommy that way. I make them feel safe and in return I feel safer dealing with ABDLs and those with strange fetishes.
Questions #4: What are some strengths, that you brought from your background and past, that helps you to be effective with clients?
I hold a BS in clinical Psychology. Yes, that’s right.
I have had a few classes toward a MS, but for financial and time reasons (mostly to do with the fact that I am a real Mommy) I decided not to pursue that. I apply the knowledge I learned about sexual paraphilias. When I am exposed to a new “flavor” I often research the way I did in school. Trying to understand the ‘flavor’ a client seeks is my number one pursuit. My curiosity to always learn and have an open mind applies here. My minor in college was English and Foreign Languages. I have a love of language. Because of this learning new language (and yes baby talk is a language) comes second hand to me. I am a writer. I worked in the journalism field for 7 years before moving on to another career path. I apply journalistic skills of research, investigative and persuasive writing daily to tickle the fancies of my client base.
The final thing I apply as an aside really, I’m a kinky woman too. So, I also have my own ‘flavor’ and tend to love to share that with people who are long term clients. We have a lot more fun that way and to them it seems like they are dialing an old friend as our relationships develop. Call me polyamorous.
Question #1: How do you mentally prepare yourself for your clients? Do you have a specific routine that you do prior to taking a call? Do you shift your mind into a certain “head space” before a call?
Interesting questions. Well, for me doing this is a joy. I don’t have to mentally prepare or psych myself up to talk to people.
I do exercise, walk my dog, eat a balanced diet and get plenty of rest.
Unlike some in the industry, I do not have a 24/7 availability. I allow time to grow as a person and pursue individual interests like painting, crochet and sewing. I also have a wonderful little girl who I love to take care of and spend time with. I am a mom and a wife.
Self-care is the top thing on my list daily because if I am empty I can’t give anyone of myself.
No real mind shift. I do have to think on my feet. I tap into different sides of myself as the situation warrants. For one man I may be a cougar who seduces him while for another I might be changing his poopy pants and talking baby talk. That requires fast thinking and A LOT of recharge time. If I don’t take down time I can lose mental energy very quickly. A lack of mental energy is the most harmful thing to my clients that I can think of. They are coming to me for ‘help’ essentially so I want to be 100% engaged all the time when I’m on the clock.
Question #2: After working in the industry for many years, what would you say is the primary reason that people use your services?
This varies per caller. Again making my job a little tricky. The motivation to use my services hides under many cloaks. My job is to remove the cloak so I can get to the heart of the matter and provide maximum satisfaction and joy to the customer.
So the caller base’s motivation seems to change with age/wisdom. The younger callers tend to be the one and dones. They get curious about phone sex. Enticed by the pornographic images (even on ABDL sites) they seem to be more in the fantasy realm and want to believe that what they see is what they get. These types have never been my bread and butter. That’s why there are loads of sites filled with women who probably do this for all the wrong reason: the money! More on that later.
Middle age callers can be a mixed bag, but these guys usually are married and unable to talk about their fetish or desire with their significant other. Still motivated by getting off, they seek me out to form a pseudo type of passionate encounter or straight up fetish play devoid of deeper connection. They also tend to search around a lot chasing the ‘carrot’ of the next big orgasm. It’s a lot like addiction—they need newer, more and greater to get off because it’s all surface to these types.
The older male is usually looking for something deeper. Psychologically as we all age our motivation to have sex changes (if it is even sex we need). For these men it is a connection to an open, sexy female that they crave. For ABDL’s this is the primary motivation.
Question #3: What type of pleasure or satisfaction do you gain from the work that you do? Does it bring you joy?
Well, I have to say making people feel good fills me up. I don’t feel dirty when I have a sexual call with a client. I don’t always orgasm, but sometimes I do. Especially if I have been talking to a man for a good long while.
With ABies, they rub that mother spot in me. My greatest raison d’etre remains being a mother. With Abies I get to be a Mom and they never grow up and leave the nest. Ironically, this helps me too. I
My work in general fulfills me. It’s taken me many years to drop the inner critic who constantly tries to feed me a line of bullshit. There is nothing lesser than or denigrating about what I do! I love talking to people and getting to know them through the anonymity of the phone. I value authenticity in people and in my line of work I get to know the REAL person. Even if they are playing a fantasy play pen I get to know who they really are. I know more about some people than their own real life mother! This exhilarates me. I have great passion for my work. This translates into my calls and usually guys ‘fall in love’ after the first one because they can tell I’m not faking!
Question #4: I think many people wonder if phone sex operators pleasure themselves during a call. Have you ever engaged in play while taking a call?
I do. Often. With a few of my long term regulars. The longer I talk to a guy, the more I learn about him and the more he learns about me, I think this natural progression occurs. I cherish the orgasms I have. They aren’t faked and I love giving them to the guys who really appreciate me.
Question #5: Do you have any limitations that you tell your clients prior to a call, or things you absolutely won’t do?
I will talk about almost anything with a client with one caveat: do no harm. Thoughts are thoughts, but behavior hurts.
I do shy away sometimes from men who want to sexualize me as a transgender person. For personal reasons, I have a hard time with that fantasy because I am the mother of a MtF. For that reason, I have a hard time suspending reality enough to convincingly pull that one off.
I do LOVE talking with men who identify as female. I just don’t want to pretend to be one!
Question #6: Many people think that the phone sex industry is strictly sexual. But many people don’t realize that operators actually help clients in non-sexual calls too. Can you discuss with us in what ways you help your non-sexual clients?
This myth persists due to a lack of listening to the client and good ole customer service! I listen first. I always listen with an open mind. A lack of listening runs rampant in this industry. This shortfall seems largely due to the motivation that brings a person to be an operator in the first place. When they say money is the root of all evil they weren’t kidding.
I don’t want to pretend I don’t want to make money doing what I do. Obviously, I wouldn’t be in business if I wasn’t benefiting financially, but it is not my primary motivator. My desire to help people and alleviate them from sexual frustration or pain continues to be the top reason I do this.
Honest dialogue cannot exist with only external motivators like money and pornographic pictures at play. The inner motivation of both me and the caller must align in order for us to achieve what the client seeks to gain from interacting with me.
What I said at the end, that’s not sexual at all. That’s what most operators miss and what I intuitively pick up on in a few sessions. I am grateful for that gift. I use it well! When I am really helping someone I always give back. It is the non sexual clients who I get to give the most to because they seem more genuine to me.
Question #7: How did you come into your role as a “Phone Mommy” for ABDL’s? What are your core values as a “Phone Mommy”? And what are some services that you provide for them?
My core values for being a phone Mommy are almost identical to my core values as a real mom. To put the “abie” first in all things, to nurture and guide, to discipline with love, to reward when good and to always treat each individual Abie or client in a way that reflects love and self respect. Patience is a value as well.
I provide phone services as well as customized audio for ABDLs. I am considering doing some Mommy pictures which of course will not be sexually explicit. I plan on allowing Abies regardless of caller status to post content to my brag book. The blog site I am creating will be an open forum. People can comment and etc. to my blog.
Question #8: What are some things you plan to do in the future to further help the ABDL Community? (I heard you’re making an ABDL site? )
I think I covered off on this above. I plan to make the site in work in progress. I’ll keep an open mind and see where it goes. This site will reflect my love and respect for the ABDL fetish and will hopefully pay as much tribute to their specialness as a mommy of my type can provide.
Question #9: Last question! Would you mind sharing a funny story with us, keeping the client’s identity completely confidential of course?
I was on the phone with a gentleman who wanted a diaper change. He didn’t tell me he was bed bound. We were doing an intricate fantasy and were at the part of “bum wiping” when a female voice audibly said his last name and “Home healthcare.” The phone fell to the floor. I guess it didn’t disconnect. I got to hear the client try to explain to the home healthcare aide that he needed changed. When she took off his diaper, she found that it was full of semen and cleaned him up. She was laughing at him. I have never forgotten that he seemed to be enjoying all of it including the fact that I was listening. He called sometime later and we replayed the scenario. I laughed too.
There was also the 10 min call that ran into an hour. My dinner burned and set off the smoke detector. The caller still brings that up every now and then.