Good Morning Friends,
I hope you all are doing well. This break from posting on a daily basis has been cathartic and much needed. Last night I found myself meditating surrounded by pumpkin candles and my diffuser, full of gratitude for the life that I have. My life is nothing fancy. I am far from wealthy. I live a very quiet, simple life, and I prefer it that way. I enjoy making posts and printables because it brings me joy to share resources with other Cg/l couples. That said, today’s focus is going to be on gratitude. And what better month to focus on gratitude than November, right? 😊
The past few months since Daddy C and I returned to our life has been hectic and busy. We met up face to face and had the most wonderful time together. Then we had to jump back into real life and the true “test” of our relationship began. At the same time, my husband Captain Taliron Quinn, and I were slowly and quietly working on strengthening our marriage. Not that it was in trouble, but because we always want to be evolving together as a couple. So, these past few months has culminated into this post. My hope is that my own personal experiences becomes a tool for insight and perhaps even inspiration. That said, let’s dive in.
I. Make Every Day an Opportunity to Grow Together:
There have been weeks where Daddy C and I really felt the distance. Other weeks we were talking loads and felt closer than ever. Everyone knows that long distance relationships are difficult. But, these past few months has taught me the value of slowing down to the point where I can mindfully move through my day, ensuring that my partners are getting my full focus. I wake up with intention and the first thing I do is reach other and text Daddy C good morning back. It’s a beautiful way to begin the day. Then I reach over to the hammock next to mine, and kiss my husband hello. I cherish watching him smile and stroke my cheek.
Another life lesson that I’ve discovered these past few months has been to become a true, active listener. While I’ve always listened well, I had created the bad habit of thinking and planning so much that I wasn’t completely in the moment with my partners. Daddy C and I would be talking on the phone, and while I was listening, I would get excited and want to gush about what I was writing, or other things going on in my life. But, what I didn’t realize was that he needed me to simply be present for him. He needed me to sit in silence and be attentive to his emotional needs. Truthfully, it took a few hard weeks of us feeling disconnected from one another for me to realize that I was half of the problem and that I needed to change my behavior to improve the situation. So, I did. And once I began stopping, and soaking up each text message… each phone call… it felt better for the both of us. I felt calmer and more at peace.
II. Serve with a Compassionate Heart
I’m always gushing about “Little Me” on here, but the truth of the matter is that as a human being, we have duty to serve every person with a compassionate heart. In these past few months, I haven’t been in Little Space very much. I didn’t feel compelled to regress. I would slip into it here and there, but on the whole, I felt like my adult self. At first, I viewed this as a failure of sorts. I’m a Little, and therefore having regular time in Little Space is important… right? Well, not necessarily. While having time to regress is important, it’s more important to move into that head space only when it feels right to do so. If you want to feel like an adult, do so. And when you want to feel small, then regress.
In developing this new pattern of thinking, I’ve begun to honor myself with compassion, and in turn, it makes me more compassionate towards the people around me. I admit that I’m very tender-hearted. I absolutely despise confrontation and cannot stand anger directed at me. But, I’m slowly learning that when people are angry at me, I can meet that anger with compassion. I am a submissive who is blessed with two wonderful men. But my service does not stop there. I have a duty to extend my compassion towards everyone that I meet. I can move forward through life and let kindness guide my behavior. I recently read a quote by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh where he said:As I continue to publish here on my blog, and interact with all of you, I’m making it my vow to move forward with greater compassion. I’m vowing to be present with all of you, so that you feel loved by me and know that you are truly heard. ❤
III. Demonstrate Kindness to Others Just as Much as You Do with Your Dominant:
You’ll notice on here that I often speak about Cg/l or DD/lg relationships. I create resources for couples that guide dominants and submissives to work together in their partnerships coming from a place of kindness and love. But I’ve learned that we should extend that kindness towards others as well. I want to make more Little, and non-Little, friends alike. I want to make friends with dominants and people out of the lifestyle. I want to cultivate authentic friendships stemming from a place of kindness and understanding. I’ve learned these past couple of months that it’s okay to be a colorful array of people on the same planet. We all don’t have to have the same things in common. But we should act from a place of respect, understanding, and honesty. In doing so, we can develop compassion for one another.
IV. Let the Small Stuff Go and Embrace Your Partner as a Whole:
Lastly, these past few months I have had to slowly re-train my brain to not sweat the small stuff. Life happens. Crazy schedules happen. Days can go by where Daddy C and I only text. A week can roll by where my husband and I didn’t make love to one another. But you know what? That’s okay. All of that is okay. I’ve learned that it’s okay to ride the wave of emotions with your partner, communicating your needs all along the way. You don’t have to meet a certain “quota” for how many times per week you have sex. There is no “perfect model” of how a Dd/lg relationship should be, or look like. All you need to do is focus on these three questions:
- Is your relationship with your partner happy, uplifting, and healthy?
- Are you doing everything in your power to be the healthiest partner in your relationship?
- Are you deeply committed to making the relationship work?
Focus on the foundation. Tune out the negativity and the noise from everything else. And I promise that you will thrive. Your relationship will look like however you and your partner wish it to be, and that’s exactly how it should be. So, my final message in this post is to encourage you to embrace all of your partner. Accept the good with the bad. Embrace the long work weeks, and the exhaustion at the end of the day. Take the medical issues with the geographical distance. Soak it all up and remind yourself why you fell in love in the first place. You love them because they are an incredible human being and you want to walk through life together. It’s as simple as that.
Wishing you so much love on this peaceful Wednesday. Until next time, my friends.