Good Morning Friends!
I hope you all are having a beautiful, restful day. This morning Elena of “Ten Shades & Me” and I are diving into appearance and how our respective husbands (and dominants) influence the way we look. Appearance is a large part of many D/s relationships. And my relationship with my husband is no different. Well, maybe it’s slightly different. I’ll explain. 😉
I. Letting Your Dominant Guide Your Appearance:
I’m one of those people where if someone tells me “you can’t”, the very first thing I think is, “Oh yeah? Watch me..”. I know. Deep down I’m a bit of a rebel. It’s a blessing and a curse, but it has also bubbled up and made my husband have to work extra hard on getting me to obey him. I’m not an easy one to tame. On the day to day, I choose what clothing I want to wear. As a stay at home mom, my wardrobe is comfortable and modest. While I do have a couple of nice dresses, I mostly wear clothing that is easy for me to romp around the farm in.
And then there’s my hair.
While I am a Christian, for the longest time I have been reading up on Buddhism. I love that it is a religion and a dharma. It has teachings that I’ve found useful in my life, including the concept of releasing attachment from things to gain a greater sense of peace. So when I approached my husband a while ago and declared that I wanted to shave my head, as a way of releasing attachment to the stress of being born with a thick, wild, curly mop of hair, I expected him to say, “absolutely not!”. Instead, he sat down and peered at me.
“Are you sure?” he asked me skeptically, “because once you shave it, it will take a while to grow back”. I was giddy with excitement. “Yes! Yes! Yes!!” I squealed, ready to race into the bathroom to get the clippers. Minutes later I shaved all of my long, curly locks off. My head felt much lighter. In fact, I could feel my head for the very first time! But what I also noticed was that I could see my face. Without a giant afro of hair around my head, the only thing people could focus on was me. That felt good. I stared at myself in the mirror for a solid 30 minutes just touching my peach fuzz of a head. My husband watched me silently. “I LOVE IT!!” I suddenly barked and flashed him a huge grin.
And that began our journey of using gentle guidance in our D/s relationship.
Instead of telling me what I can and cannot wear, or how I should wear my hair, we come together with ideas and suggestions. I run my ideas by him and know that I am heard. He in turn shares what fashions are attractive to him, and what he would enjoy seeing on me. We meet in the middle for a compromise, and usually I sprinkle my little side into the mix by purchasing a top… with sequins. Or ruffles. Or bright colors. Something that looks and feels happy.
II. Let’s Talk About Unmentionables:
I love that word. Unmentionables. It makes me giggle. If you’re unfamiliar with the word, unmentionables simply means your undergarments. This is one area of my life where my husband has had free reign. I gave him my sizes and off we went to the stores. One time we went shopping for panties and bras at a large retail store. The retail clerk was helping me get fitted for a bra. “Have you ever tried the lift and scoop method, honey?” she asked me in a thick accent. I raised my eyebrows. Now, I’m not particularly modest in a dressing room, but this woman had her hands on my breasts (in the bra) trying to show me how it should fit “just right”. “Uh…. no?” I said a bit perplexed. Suddenly she cupped my breasts and lifted them up akin to Dolly Parton.
The next thing I know my husband passes over a handful of panties to look at and try on. He thoroughly enjoyed himself picking out various cuts for me to wear from thongs to boy-shorts to high cuts and bikini style. I think he knew that if it were up to me, comfort would reign supreme and I would have 7 pairs of boy-shorts. Done. “Oh isn’t your man just the sweetest?!” the clerk said, holding up pairs to my crotch. “Mhmm” I said blushing and beginning to fidget. <Please don’t let her ask to help me into the panties too…> I thought to myself. Thankfully she stepped out to allow me to handle the underwear part on my own.
As I examined the various styles of panties I heard the woman laughing and chatting up a storm with my husband. Now I admit, my inner kitten began to come out a little bit. I poked my head out and silently looked down to where the young girl was talking with my husband. “Love?” I called, making the two turn their head, “Which do you think would look better for you to tie me up in? A thong or a bikini style?”. My husband, of course, knew exactly what I was doing and why. He gave me “the look” and his lips curled into a smirk as his eyes locked with mine. The clerk blinked in shock. “A thong would allow me to spank you with more surface area. Go with that” he said smoothly. “Mkay!” I chirped and disappeared. Kitten: 1 Clerk: 0.
III. Having a Uniform for Play Sessions:
Now, sometimes dominants will have a uniform for their submissive to wear during special play sessions. Daddy and I incorporate this here and there. In truth, we don’t have many opportunities to have formal play sessions. We usually just go for little space time. But as a hybrid little, or a little who also gravitates towards other areas of submission, I also have one uniform that my husband chose for me to wear during those times when I don’t feel little. It’s for those moments when I’m aching to submit and yet… I need to let go completely. I want to fall into the mindset of a slave and simply serve in silence. I want to give my complete obedience and be taken however he wishes. It is in these moments that I slip into my single M/s uniform.
Let’s pause here for a moment so that I can gush to you about this fashion item. 🙂
I have said it many times on here but I’ll say it once more: I’m a curvy girl. I have hips, a butt, and thighs. I can’t waltz around in thigh high boots and daisy dukes. However, I have found the best slave outfit that comes in a wide variety of sizes, is affordable, and comes in a large range of colors. Are you ready to see it?! I present to you…
What I love about this outfit so much is that the company made a wide variety of sizes, so that from the thinnest figures all the way to the curviest goddesses can enjoy this wrap. I chose this wrap in a wine color, but it comes in 20 different colors to choose from!! The material is so soft, and I love that the back is open all the way down to your tail bone. So you feel open, your body is exposed for easy access to your dominant, and yet you still cover up your breasts and front while you’re moving around in service. 😉 It’s an amazing piece of attire available on Amazon for everyone to enjoy!
IV. These Shoes Were Made For Walking… And That’s Just What They’ll Do!:
The last area of attire that I want to touch upon is shoes. Why? Because while I am a minimalist… I admit that I have a penchant for purses and shoes. Yes, I love a cute pair of shoes. However, put me in a pair of stilettos and you’ll find me face first into the sidewalk! (lol). Instead, I gravitate towards chic, trendy sneakers (or runners for all my UK and Aussie peeps). Daddy knows this about me and so we take our time really looking through sneakers with time and attention. Here are my top two favorite sneakers that I currently own and cannot rave enough about:
I absolutely LOVE these shoes!! I feel super girly wearing them, and my little side squeals with glee as I sit and click my feet together. The material is a soft suede, so you want to be careful not to get them too wet. I don’t go romping in these shoes. They are my “going out and about around town” shoe. But the soles are think and springy. The shoe itself is wide enough to keep my feet comfortable. (I wear a 7.5 US). And of course, they are Adidas, so they never really go out of style.
Now when you want to get your workout on, or go for a hike this is my go-to shoe that I am so happy to recommend. First off, New Balance is an excellent brand. Second off, this is a minimalist shoe– meaning that it is designed to look slender, thin, and is easy to pack and travel with. The sole is like the popular Xero shoes but without paying an arm and a leg. It is incredibly comfortable and I love that they make my feet look dainty and small. The shape of the shoe is so attractive. I cannot rave about this shoe enough.
Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know. Comment below and tell me if your dominant influences your appearance at all. 🙂 I’d love to hear from you! Have a beautiful day and I will see you back here tonight!