Day 2 of The Dominant’s Den: The Power of Positive Touch [Gentle Guidance Series]

The Dominant's Den

Good Evening Friends!

We’re back with Day 2 of The Dominant’s Den, and today we are discussing the power of positive touch. In the world of B.D.S.M. when it comes to touch, we often hear about sex or kissing. We hear and see oral sex on social media by the plenty. But tonight, I want to discuss positive touch that isn’t overtly sexual. I want to discuss physical touch that has the power to guide your submissive, make them feel appreciated, all while touching them in a way that isn’t overly erotic. Now don’t get me wrong, I love intimacy just as much as the next person. But tonight I want to demonstrate how physical touch on the most innocent levels can resonate with your submissive, and help them feel deeply anchored in your relationship. Are you ready to explore this topic with me? Then, let’s dive in!

I. Hand in Hand, Arm in Arm: 

There is something magical about walking hand in hand with your partner. As the dominant, holding your submissive’s hand shows ownership. You claim them. They are your treasure and your love. To the submissive, you feel owned. Their hand fits just perfectly with yours and you feel deeply connected. In a world that is so frantic and busy, it’s nice to slow down and walk hand in hand. If you’re much taller than your partner, try slowing your stride a bit. Give your submissive time to match your pace so that you can enjoy the stroll together. Hand holding also allows for discreet non-verbal communication. You can give your partner gentle squeezes to get their attention.

Another way to make your submissive feel owned and blissfully content is to have them walk with you on your arm. It is a simple gesture that denotes how much of a gentleman you are. If you’ve never walked arm in arm with your partner, gently place your palm to your midsection while extending your elbow slightly. Your submissive doesn’t have to completely rest their arm in the crook of your elbow. They can simply place their hand through your arm to rest lightly on your forearm. But the gesture will move your sub deeply. You are guiding them (quite literally) as you’re out and about.

II. Small Gestures That Mean So Much: 

On a day to day basis, your submissive wants to feel you physically touch them. It gives them reassurance of your love. It tethers them to your connection, and helps them to feel desired by you. There are many ways to use positive touch to express your love without words. While you’re out and about, try placing your hand at the small of their back. It’s a subtle, discreet way of reminding them who they belong to. A less discreet gesture of this touch is to wrap your arm gently around their shoulders. They will feel cocooned by you, and no doubt be filled with love and appreciation.

If your submissive has done something special for you or completed a chore, try gently rubbing the back of their head. This gesture works especially well for Cg/l dynamics as it reaffirms that you (the dominant) are bigger and watching over your little (who is small). The crown of the head is also a tender area of the body with many nerve endings, so if you gently stroke the back of your submissive’s head, this will bring them deep relaxation. You can weave this positive touch into many dynamics and situations. You can have your submissive snuggle up to your chest as you stroke their head, or have them kneel on a floor cushion as you acknowledge and love upon them.

Another positive gesture to try is to tenderly ruffle the top of their head. Commonly we see this portrayed in anime series. But the emotion that this gesture gives is one of soothing, comfort, with a touch of playfulness. No doubt your submissive will feel small and silly when you ruffle their hair.


When communicating with your submissive and they are feeling shy, try tenderly cupping their chin to lift their gaze to yours. By doing so, you are demonstrating the value of your submissive’s words and feelings to them. You want to look into their eyes as they speak to you. You are letting them know that they have your undivided attention, and that is truly a powerful and precious demonstration of love.

The final small gesture that I encourage you to try is rubbing your submissive’s biceps gently when they are feeling anxious or nervous. It’s almost like a hug, but also gives way for soothing and comfort because you’re tenderly stroking their skin.

III. Healing and Therapeutic Touch: 

There will be many times when your submissive is feeling under the weather, or is feeling “icky”. Moments like these are the perfect time to use positive touch to keep their spirits high. Try placing a hand to their forehead to feel for a fever. If your submissive has an upset stomach, cradle them close and tenderly rub their tummy. (This actually helps aid digestion a lot!). If your submissive is an adult little, try holding them close to your chest and rubbing their back. This will allow them to burp in the same manner as an infant. Not only will it draw you deep into the caregiver mindset, but your little will feel extremely cared for. (I promise you that it’s not gross 😉 ).

If your submissive has the common cold, try using gentle touch to slather Vicks vapor rub on their body. Yes, it’s sticky, pungent, and attracts every speck of dust. But it does help and your submissive will feel thankful that you physically cared for them by applying the ointment. Finally, regardless if you’re a dominant or submissive, everyone is prone to getting aches and pains from time to time. While massages are popular among dominants to include in their service…. try switching things around. No doubt your submissive will feel appreciative for your loving touches over their body as you massage out the knots of stress in their muscles.

IV. Daily Gentle Guidance Exercise: The Two Minute Hug 

Now that you know many exciting and loving ways to touch your submissive in a powerful and positive way, it’s time for your daily challenge! Today I challenge you to embrace your submissive into a hug for two consecutive minutes. 

There are numerous studies that have shown how beneficial hugging can be. Hugging your sub is actually good for you both! First off, hugging can actually prevent you from catching a cold! Studies have shown that when a person hugs another, psychological stress decreases dramatically. As such, the immune system boosts and is able to fight off germs and colds much easier. Pretty neat, right?! 🙂 The next reason why hugging is so important is that it boosts your self-esteem. When you hug your submissive, you are giving them positive, gentle touch that resonates your love. Your love becomes a verb, an action! Now that is powerful! Finally, hugging for a prolonged period of time (30 seconds and above) actually calms the entire central nervous system. This aids in your blood pressure which boosts overall heart health!

So, I challenge you to get somewhere comfortable and tenderly pull your submissive into an embrace. Start the timer and just let go. Feel their body against yours. Listen to the rise and fall of their chest as they breathe. Take in their natural scent. Simply be. I know you both will absolutely love this moment that you create together. It is my deepest wish that you practice these means of positive, gentle touch again and again. ❤

Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know. Smash that follow button if you’re new around here. And I will see you back here in the morning!

Much love,

~Kitten xx


  1. Like when we were kids and we copied WWF wrestling moves… my brother piledrove me one time and we both laughed when my neck sort of made a noise

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Some hot weather here and we have some major bushfires in the east of the state. Navy has evacuated a lot by ship. Worst bushfires since about 2010.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh no! We have lots of bushfires here in Cali, so I completely understand. I hope you stay safe, Barney. And I’ll be sending positive vibes and healing energy that way to all the miraculous volunteers and Navy. xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Cheers. A lot of people are very busy. People are even doing things like knitting bird’s nests and animal pouches with pure wool for affected wildlife

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s