Day 5 of The Dominant’s Den: Embracing Positive Music to Uplift Your Little

The Dominant's Den

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Good Evening Friends!

I am currently typing this to you whilst rocking out to, “I Love You (Bang Bang Boom)” By: T-Max, and it’s fitting because tonight’s gentle domination and guidance topic is all about music! Yes, music is an integral part of life and can be a powerful tool for you to use with your submissive. Tonight we’re going to explore how lyrics matter, and the influence that music can have on you (and your little’s) mood. We’re going to dive into cultural music that allows you (and your sub) to express yourself. And we’re going to discuss how you can use music to help your submissive get into Little Space. Are you ready to explore this topic with me? Then, let’s dive in! 🙂

I. What Are You Really Listening To? 

I remember when I was 18 years old. I was driving around in an old Buick rocking out to Linkin Park. I loved the anger and power in the music. It was angsty, and at the time it put to music all of the feelings that I had inside. For as long as I can remember music has been a medium in which I communicate my feelings. When all of my thoughts feel jumbled, music moves me away from the problem and helps me to calm down. I’m guessing that many of you feel the same way too. 😉 But, as I’ve gotten older (and a tiny bit wiser), I’ve realized that the lyrics that we listen to can influence our mood. Let’s think about this for a moment.

There are many artists that I’ve listened to over the years, that now I look back and wonder why on earth I listened to their music in the first place. Here’s a few that perhaps you’ve tuned into too:

  • “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by: Nirvana
  • “Pain” By: Three Doors Down
  • “Break Stuff” By: Limp Bizkit
  • “Chop Suey” By: System of a Down
  • “Gives You Hell” By: All American Rejects
  • “Pumped Up Kicks” By: Foster the People

And I could go on and on… but, you get the point. What you listen to matters. These artists (above) are incredibly talented. Their songs went platinum for one reason or another, but their lyrics aren’t positive. They don’t put you in a good mood, and when you’re guiding your submissive you want them to be listening to things that are uplifting. So, what should you do? The first piece of advice I can give you is to check your (and your sub’s) musical playlists. Sit down and discuss music with them. See if you can get them to listen to music that has positive themes. Slowly weed out the negative tunes, and replace them with music that puts a smile on their face. I bet you’ll see an improvement in their overall emotional baseline.

II. Embracing Your Partner’s Native Language and Culture: 

We all come from somewhere. Perhaps you and your partner speak the same language, or maybe you’re like hubby and I, and you are a beautiful, interracial couple. Tonight I challenge you to listen to some music from your cultural roots. Express those songs with your partner. If you are a bilingual couple, or you wish to learn your partner’s language, music is a great way to start. I’ll share a quick story with you. When my husband and I met, one of the first things we did was swap music. At the time, he wanted to impress me by saying that he knew every Nightwish song on their Dark Passion Play album. In truth, he didn’t know any of the songs and was scrambling to learn them when we weren’t talking on the phone. Little did he know but I was memorizing a song in Tagalog to surprise him with. When we finally did our first karaoke night via Skype together, we were absolutely smitten over each other. Only later did we learn just how hard we had worked to impress each other! The story still makes us laugh to this day.

But the point is this: share yourself through music. Whether you’re Scottish, Irish, Caribbean, Brazilian, Filipino, Chinese, etc. share your culture with your partner. Teach them about your family background. No doubt your sub wants to hear you sing with pride as you express your roots. I know I love hearing my Hubby-Daddy sing in Tagalog, and he knows so many Riverdance songs now because I’ve played them about a million times. 😉 What language or song would you share with your partner?

This is a song (in Tagalog) that Hubby and I sing often. It’s called “Tinatangi” (You Are Cherished). The song is about an elderly couple who have been married for 50 years. It’s only in those final moments of life that the husband realizes that his wife is also sick, as she had been his caregiver for years. Together they look at each other and say, “you are cherished”. It’s simply beautiful.

III. Using Music to Trigger Little Space: 

Ask any little what music they enjoy while in little space and they’ll likely have a playlist. Dominants, take heed my friends, because music can be a wonderful way to help you get your little into the mindset. Every little has those songs that “trigger” them into feeling little. For me, put on any Disney song and watch me sing and dance across the room. Why? Because I grew up going to Disney World many times. Your little has their own triggers that sets them in the mood and will make them feel small and happy. Ask them what their favorite little space music is. Then bookmark that in your mind, (or your phone), and keep a playlist on hand. There will be days when your Little just can’t get into the head space. Or, perhaps your little is having a rough day. Put on their playlist. Lift their spirits through happy jingles and sing-a-long songs. It will do wonders. ❤

IV. Daily Gentle Guidance Exercise: Karaoke Night! 

Tonight’s daily gentle guidance exercise is to have an at-home karaoke night with your little! 🙂 If you’re a long distance couple, fire up your FaceTime or Skype and get ready to rock out! Grab your hairbrush-microphone (or pull out a Magic Sing mic) and swap playlists with your partner. Have fun rocking out to new and old music together. Take a trip down memory lane as you share songs from when you were younger. (Bonus points if you sing Disney songs to your little 😉 ). Pop some popcorn or makes some appetizers for dinner, but most importantly, just have fun! I remember that when my husband and I first began talking I was terrified to sing. Then I saw him bust out singing and it made me feel relaxed and more confident to sing too. Help your partner discover how much fun it can be to sing, dance, and just let loose!

Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know. Smash that follow button if you’re new around here, and I will see you all back here first thing in the morning!

Much love,

~Kitten xx


  1. Girl we are so alike! I listen to music and communicate through it too, but with that all being said, I do love a lot of angsty music and Linkin Park and System Of A Down are definitely on my playlist. Wolfie and I love them, and for me, Linkin Park’s “Numb” communicated a lot of how I was feeling towards my Mum during my late teenage years. Earlier on, and after seeing the positive responses to my post about my Mum, it was Halsey’s “Not Afraid Anymore” because that’s how I feel now with the community that I’m in, I don’t need to be afraid, I’m accepted and loved. This is where I belong. The BDSM community are my people! Hehe xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly!! *Gives you a big hug*! You have to listen to the music that resonates and expresses your feelings 😉 ! That said, I love you sharing your journey and how music helped you through those emotions. Sometimes we all need those powerful, bass-pounding jams to let out all of our energy and feelings, hehe! So I totally get it. And yes! Girl, you are most definitely one of us! 🙂 ❤ xx


  2. Beautiful music you linked to! And I love your list of music you listened to. I also love singing music I knew as a child, even though I don’t think that’s exactly what you’re talking about to get someone into their little headspace, but that might kind of do it for me. If that sentence even makes sense… anyhow. Thanks! 💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Olivia! And an excellent point! I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I walk around singing songs from musicals, which I grew up listening to, so I wholeheartedly agree with you. That’s an excellent way to slip into the little headspace! ❤ 🙂 xx

      Liked by 1 person

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