Day 7 of The Dominant’s Den: Thinking Three Steps Ahead of Your Submissive

The Dominant's Den

Good Evening Everyone!

Thank you ALL for your amazing likes and comments on the previous post. I feel so loved and supported by all of you. You truly are an incredible group of people, and I can’t wait to share more M/s adventures that Daddy and I have been diving into. For tonight, let’s get caught up on Day 7 of “The Dominant’s Den”! Tonight I’d like to discuss how organization can really empower and help every dominant. As I type this tonight I’m peering over at my husband’s desk. He can be a wee bit of a clutter-bug (lol). But, there are a few tools that we’ve developed over these past few years that has strengthened our D/s relationship as we came together, grew apart, and came back together again. Tonight, I’d like to share those tips with you to help you stay several steps ahead of your sub at all times. Are you ready? Then, let’s dive in.

I. Get Organized as a Dominant:Β 

I don’t know about you, but when I see that a dominant is organized and in control it’s a major turn on! Seeing your dominant completely in control and in command allows you to relax fully. Your mind can let go. You can take off your adult hat and fall into your submission completely. As such, the first tip I would encourage every dominant to do is to put your submissive’s schedule in your cell phone, or a Google calendar. If you’re long distance, sync up your Google calendar with your submissive’s calendar. Keep regular tabs on what they’re up to, or any upcoming appointments they may have. Even if you can’t be there in person for, say a doctor’s appointment, you can still call in and give them emotional support and love.

The second tip that I would encourage you to do is to purchase small, easy tools that will allow you to control your submissive’s personal health easily. For example: if you have health and wellness rules in place (which I highly recommend), you can purchase inexpensive reusable bento boxes to meal prep for the week. Take one day on the weekend to make a large batch of healthy food for your submissive. You’ll be able to portion control their meals and know exactly what is going into their body (and your property! πŸ˜‰ ). I also recommend investing in a 64 ounce reusable water bottle. 64 ounces is the daily recommended 8 glasses of water. (I use this stainless steel one from Amazon). By refilling your sub’s water bottle before you go to work, you’ll know that they are keeping hydrated all day long as they drink one full bottle of water. It’s small items like these that will make your domination in the day to day much smoother and less stressful.

II. Get Your Submissive’s Input on Tasks:Β 

As a dominant, one of the expectations you’ll be required to do is to give your submissive daily tasks. These tasks will revolve around you pushing your sub to do things that support their personal goals. But before you go running off to make them a schedule get their feedback! I cannot stress this enough. I’ll tell you a quick story of a “hiccup” that hubby and I faced early on when we began our D/s journey together. When we entered the lifestyle and he began giving me tasks, my Daddy thought that the tasks needed to be mostly sexual. So on one of the first days, he assigned me the task of playing with my nipples for 10 minutes on the hour, every hour until he returned home in the afternoon from work. I remember looking at the task and thinking, “Uh… WHAT?!”.


First off, I’m a stay at home mom who homeschools during the day. I don’t have time to run off to a private corner for 10 minutes to play with my nipples lol. Secondly, we didn’t sit down prior to making the tasks and really discuss the ebb and flow of my typical day at home. It was a simple mistake and one we learned to correct quickly. That day I politely typed a reply email saying: While I would love to complete task #4, “the twins” and I will have to respectfully decline as we are in the midst of educating the future generation”. πŸ˜‰ Hehe! That gave him a giggle, and lessened the feeling of “Oops!” on his part. ❀ Bottom line: talk things over with your sub about what their needs are, and what kinds of tasks they can realistically do before you begin diving in.

III. Do Small Acts of Kindness Towards Your Sub:Β 

Another way to be three steps ahead of your sub at all times is to think about what your submissive enjoys doing… and then surprise them with prepping things ahead of time. If your sub enjoys taking a bubble bath, lay out everything ahead of time for their bath. It will only take a minute, but they will be so surprised when they walk in and everything is prepared for them to enjoy. If you have a Little, try portioning out a snack for them in the afternoon and leave it in the fridge. (Bonus points if you put a sweet note on it!). Doing small acts of kindness will allow your submissive to place their trust and love in you more fully. Not only does it demonstrate your love and ability to lead, but it also shows to your sub that you’ve been thinking about them! Now, how sweet is that?! πŸ™‚

IV. Daily Gentle Guidance Exercise: Design a Daily Task Email for Your Sub:Β 

Alright my friends, tonight’s daily gentle guidance exercise is to take a few minutes and craft a task email for your sub. Email is the perfect medium to send a personalized task list for your sub. If you’re feeling stuck for ideas, here is an actual task email that my husband sent me. (He sends one daily with questions that change based upon my needs. But this format is a good example to get you going). He uses the concept of targeting the 5 major areas of personal development: physical, emotional, spiritual, sexual, and creative.

*** An example of our task email ***

Your tasks and reminders:
  • Exercise goal: 10,000 steps.
  • Take a nap this afternoon.
  • Reminder – drink 2 jugs of water to get 64 oz.
  • Write me an email about how you are feeling.
  • Status update on your physical well being. Let me know any aches or pains.
  • How are you feeling mentally?
  • Take 5 minutes to meditate:Β Β Β
  • I challenge you to watch a movie/tv episode/youtube video of a show you enjoy.
  • Write to me what happy mental exercises you do to help with the withdrawal process.
Sexual / D/s
  • Our D/s bond: Tell Daddy 10 things you love about being Little.
  • Tell Daddy 10 things you like being M/s.
  • Tell me how Felicity is doing.
  • We’re going to do the list this weekend! So be prepared for funsies!
  • We totally need to have a Christmas celebration for the Myrmidons! I’m thinking we’ll go to Cragstead for Xmas in Tyria.
I love you SO much mahal ko! I can’t wait to see you at lunch! MWAAAAH!
Forever us,
Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know. Comment below and tell me how your dominant incorporates tasks into your daily life, and I will see you all back here tomorrow for the next topic!
Much love,
~Kitten xx


  1. My Daddy/Sir used to write me task lists, but often they were completely clueless towards all of the other things I had to do and he’d come home to find most of them not completed and a tonne of stuff done that he hadn’t mentioned! I’ll ask for permission to share (see? I CAN be good πŸ˜‰ ) but now he leaves me to run the home for us πŸ˜‰ xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hehehe I can totally understand that. Maybe in the future you two can sit down and he can make a hybrid list of things you need to do around the house, and things he wants you to do especially for him? πŸ™‚ I hope you are having a relaxing weekend girly! *big hugs*!


      1. I have a rota now to help me manage. The rota is law, even if a brat like me loves to tease him and say that if a task is not on the rota then it can’t be done. It usually is done, but who would I be if I just behaved myself the first time? πŸ˜‰ hehe. I am trying sweet. You know how it is though, us housewives just don’t sit still πŸ˜‚ have a lovely Sunday too xx

        Liked by 1 person

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