Good Morning Friends,
When my husband and I began coming back together as D/s, things were delicate. There were conversations to be had, and feelings that needed to be shared. I remember that we sat for hours discussing our needs and wants. “I’m attracted towards men who just… take what they want and go for it” I explained. Before coming back together, my husband was the type who would spank me and then automatically ask: “Are you alright?”. It was kind, but killed my masochistic buzz a bit. Deep down I wanted him to slap my rump and then give it a firm grip! I needed to know that he had it in him to be that strong, firm leader. I needed him to show it. “I need you to trust me enough to let go of control more often” he countered. That made me purse my lips, but he was right.
We had outgrown some of our D/s names and it was time to “revamp” things a bit.
When we first gave D/s a try together years ago, he gave me the nickname mouse. Oh, how I hated that name! This was precisely why he chose it. He wanted me to feel small, timid, quiet, and unassuming. Mouse. Just typing the word makes my eyes narrow. I am anything but a mouse. I am fiery, passionate, outspoken, and a leader for the things I believe in. I am not a mouse! But, for several months I had to be. He wanted to see if I could bite my tongue long enough to hold my opinion back and let him lead. As a half-Irish, half-Italian woman… this was no easy feat. But somehow (by the grace of God) I managed. It was then that we did our collaring ceremony and I graduated to Kitten.
Kitten was a name I could live with. Kittens are playful, curious, feisty, and yet, they love to snuggle. Pretty much like me. 🙂 Time moved on. I’m still called Kitten most of the time. Along the way, Kitten became associated with my Little side. My tone softens when I speak to my husband and when I’m feeling small and shy, I call him Daddy. He is my Daddy and I am his Kitten. It works.
But as I grew as a submissive, I craved to satisfy the other parts of my submission. I needed a new name to describe my slave style. I growled at my husband. “I don’t want to be Little today!” I pouted. (Which in hindsight was me still acting quite little). He smirked at me. “Come here, Kitten” he said, patting the seat next to him. “No, thank you!” I huffed, determined to make a point that I wanted to be a “big girl”. I wanted to submit in silence. So often when I’m in Little Space I’m singing, dancing, being joyful and a happy-go-lucky chatterbox. And that’s great!! Except…. sometimes I long to be quiet. I like being still and more thoughtful. I also crave periods of being more serious and intense. There’s parts of me that are like that too. In those moments I don’t feel very much like a kitten. I needed to be bestowed a new name. One that resonated with my slave side.
I watched my husband rise from the couch and stand before me. He rubbed my shoulders studying my face. “Our names don’t really fit being M/s, do they?” he asked quietly, and I shook my head. I’m the type of person that can’t ever just be one thing. I needed to be Dd/lg and M/s. I needed to dance across the spectrum of submission, doing the parts that felt right for us, and I hope that YOU do that too. Life is way too short to box yourself into doing what you “think” you should do as a submissive. Just be who you are! Choose names that feel right between you and your partner, and then flow back and forth between them as the mood strikes you two. ❤
“When you think of me as a Master, what name comes to your mind?” he asked. I looked at my husband. My quiet, tender Filipino husband who is a gamer and loves to be out on the water just as much as I do. I smiled thinking of all the times when we sang sea shanties together and danced around the room. I thought of the time we went whale watching in Maui, and while tourists were practically leaning over the boat to snap a picture of a humpback whale…. we were turning our face towards the wind just happy to be on the waves. I thought of sailing the seas with my very best friend, and it was then that I knew I would follow him anywhere. “My Captain” I said, stroking his cheek gently, “you’re my Captain”. He gave me a tender kiss of approval.
“What about me?!” I asked excitedly, “do me!!”. He gave a smirk at my Freudian slip. He studied my eyes thinking about how I will always be giddy and curious. Even when I’m in my more mature mindset, I’m always up to something. I love having multiple projects going and I’m an ever-bubbling pot of ideas and creativity. It’s just what makes me… me! “Tink” he said quietly, “I will call you Tink”. My green eyes widened. “Like Tinkerbell?” I asked and he nodded. Tinkerbell is always up to mischief, flitting here and there, and standing up for what she thinks is right. “Tink has always been loyal and submissive to Peter Pan, even when she was jealous” he reminded me with a gentle bop on the tip of my nose. And so, I became Tink and Kitten.
On the day to day we shift and flow between Cappy, Captain, and Daddy. I am called Kitten or Tink depending upon the mood. Just as vanilla couples call each other “babe” or “honey”, we have our magical names that allow us to move between a more formal M/s head-space, to our playful Dd/lg one. What names do YOU enjoy using in your relationship? I hope you all are having a beautiful weekend. Sending you BIG hugs all across the world. ❤ May you always continue to evolve, grow, and stay curious!
Alright my friends, that’s it from me for this post. I hope you all enjoyed it. If you did, hit that like button and let me know. Smash that follow button if you’re new around here, and I will see you back here for the next topic!
PS- If you enjoy sea shanties too, here is my very song that we sing regularly around here. 😉 ❤