Day 14 of The Dominant’s Den: Quieting Your Submissive’s World to Help Them Focus on You

The Dominant's Den

Good Afternoon Friends,

I hope you all are doing well. This post is so fitting to write today because the Captain and I just had this discussion last night. You see, I was eager to do multiple posts over this long, holiday weekend. I had plans to make a YouTube video every single day on top of that. My engines were fired up and ready to roll. And then…. he told me “no”. My jaw dropped. “No?” I asked. He looked at me square in the eyes. “No” he repeated in a tone of finality. Around here, when the Captain says no, no means no. He doesn’t say it often, but when he does there’s usually a good reason. I began to protest. I wanted to create and make grand things for you all. “You need to rest” he said more tenderly, and then we sat down to have a deep conversation. Today we’re going to discuss what to do if you have a busy-body of a submissive (like me!) and how to quiet their world down, because let’s be honest: everyone needs to slow down once in a while. Are you ready to learn? Then, let’s dive in! 🙂

***NOTE: Captain Quinn takes over from this point to let me rest.***

I. It’s Okay to Tell Your Submissive “No”:

As a caregiver and a Daddy, my first instinct is to always put Kitten’s well being first. And as hard as it is to say no to her wanting to go full speed ahead as she usually does with her passion, it falls to me to slow her down and often force her to take a break. Like a parent forcing a mandatory nap on to a fussy child, it’s my responsibility to make her focus on getting better. I always tell her “You can’t help others if you don’t take care of your health first.” So while it may be hard and may likely cause friction, especially if your submissive is like Kitten who likes being a busy-body, just remember our submissives depend on us to do what’s best for them and to protect them from their impulses from time to time.

This applies to different aspects of our submissive’s life. It could be physical, and you have to force them to rest for their health. It could be emotional, telling them that doing something will likely cause them emotional pain. It could be food, telling them no to a certain sweet treat because you’re helping them achieve their weight goal. Just remember, Littles are a special kind of submissive that are more emotionally attuned to you. So if you need to say no, for their own good, remember to do it firmly but gently. Never do it out of anger and always show compassion.

II. Streamline Tasks:


One of the things that Kitten has very much appreciated that we do, is when I give her streamlined tasks. I don’t give her tasks for the sake of giving tasks. We talk a lot and I listen to what her goals are. I create tasks that are aimed to help her achieve her goals. One of Kitten’s goals is try and simplify our life. Why? Because leading a simple life does not allow anxiety and stress to come in. One of the advantages of being her dominant, is that she trusts me to not steer her wrong. Leading a complicated life often presents us with choices that have the tendency to cause stress and anxiety. “What if I make the wrong decision and upset people?” that is a common thought that goes through their mind. As the dominant, one way we can help them is give them clear tasks and direction on what to do. It takes away that stress and as our submissive follows directions, they know it will ultimately please us. In summary, keep your tasks streamlined and simple. Don’t give too many tasks because it will overwhelm your submissive. Giving simple and easy to understand tasks will help your submissive stay focused and at peace.

III. Take Time to Just Have Fun!

One of the things I found interesting in the world today is how our perception of fun has become warped over time. Most people would equate success to how much work you’ve done. It’s easy to get caught up in the rat race of life. Our elders and even our peers expect us to get on that hamster wheel and start running with our work. But like the age old adage, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”, as human beings we’re not meant to do 24/7 work. Now, unless you want to end up like Jack Torrance in “The Shining”, it’s important to have fun.

“I forgot how to have fun!”

With that in mind, as Kitten’s dominant, I make it a point to inject a lot of fun into our life. Sure, things like deadlines or chores need to get done, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun while doing them. How do you make chores fun? Try helping out your submissive. I can say from our experience, the best food Kitten and I have made is when we cook together. It’s a very intimate experience as we’re chopping and tasting together. We try and recreate the pottery scene in Ghost, as we knead dough to make scones. We have impromptu water fights while washing our car. When you’re both laughing and giggling away, it keeps you and your partner connected on a deeper level.

Remember, having fun is like hitting the reboot button on your stress. If you know someone who works in IT, they’d tell you that a majority of tech issues are resolved by doing a fresh reboot. So give your mind a break and go out and have some fun with your partner! Do something together, connect with them and show that it’s a blast spending time with you. They will thank you for it.

IV. Daily Exercise: Do a quiet enjoyable activity together:

For today’s daily exercise, I challenge you to go on a date with your submissive. Do a quiet activity that you both can enjoy. In fact, I would suggest doing a quiet activity that you enjoy and you aren’t quite sure your partner will. You might be surprised that they quite enjoy it too! Here are some examples to get you started:

  • Writing each other love letters.
  • Watching a movie while snuggled up under a blanket.
  • Reading books side by side.
  • Cook a nice meal together.

Tune out the noise of life, and shrink your world so that there’s only the two of you and you’re completely connected with each other.  Take time to get to know your partner’s inner thoughts and desires and tap into their creative mind. And remember to have fun with it!

That’s all for now, dear friends, I will see you all tomorrow for the next post. If you enjoyed this post, make sure to hit that like button and leave a comment on what quiet activities you like to enjoy with your partner. If you’re new around here, don’t forget to subscribe for more content.  Have a wonderful day and fair winds to you all!

Much love,

Captain Quinn & Kitten/Tink


One comment

  1. I really love this writing. I just discovered your writings yesterday and am glad I stumbled across (aka directed “go check this persons writing out”)

    I like how spoke about simplifying tasks and can definitely relate to the reboot that is needed. Sometimes an opportunity to quiet the mind is all that helps in a given moment.


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